Ok.
Exams are not going too well.And Im like wasting my holidays,when I should be partying with the gangs in Calcutta.
Slumdog Millionaire is quite a good movie.Kinda like Salaam Bombay,its pretty good.
And Im being stalked.And it aint a girl.Gay guy stalking me.
Please turn me into Homer.Please please please.
Ok,it doesnt get any worse.Really,it does not get any worse.I think.
Emotional atyaachaar,anyone????
I have a major problem with english grammer.
And Ill be Scrooge this year and not be a part of the festive spirit.
Merry Christmas,everyone else.
Turn on the lights.Draw aside the curtains.Hard footsteps on the wooden plank.
You set the stage on fire,they say.Ha,what do they know,anyway.
This night belongs to you, me and the hundreds present here. The mask acts well.The performance even more.Thats why you pay me,dont you.My printed face on the advertising posters in bus stops.Thats what you come to see.
Electrifying.Electrifying moment,aye,that is.
Ever been in front of an estatic crowd,cheering to every caricature of mine.Applauding it.
Laugh,when I laugh.Laugh,when I cry.Laugh,when Im dance.Laugh,while I feel dead inside.
Because beyond laughter,lies nothing.Nothing which your significant lives and mine,insignificant can comprehend.It is your mirth that helps you to delay the miseries of your life and my performance that delays mine.
Thrilling it is.In front of those lights and the jazz playing in the background,on the stage and with you on your seats,with all the goosebumps and the spine shivering moments.Its crazy,but only to me,you see.Maybe not to you,so much.
As the confetti settles down admist the streaks of coloured light,the clapping increases,this evening,Im the entertainment.
Im the showstopper.Im the amusement.Im your rejected lives and your grief.
Cheer cheer,with your expensive clothes and your drinks.Tonight,Im the magic man.
Its 2.14 am.
I wake,I sleep.
It sounds cliched but I am suffering from a certain regular bout of insomnia.I mean,I cant really help the fact that I have to work in graveyard shifts earning that extra bit of moolah.I mean,it really is supposed to disrupt my cycle system.I guess,thats why companies actually lure us to work in the nights,with all the money,of course.Turn us into zombies.Yeh,the living dead.
So,we have this zombie company,which turns humans into zombies,who in turn work for the humans.Its a process to keep the population bomb in control.
o-kay.Damn you,Prez L,I really thought slavery was better.
So,yeh,insomnia.Yes,I wake up in the middle of the morning,when white collar employees rush off to work....which is technically midnight for me.Its a bit complicated.So I wake up.I blink.I wonder why Im sitting on my bed.I blink more.I drink some water.I blink blink blink.And I doze off in my upright sitting position.Just like a horse.
Last weekend,I woke up to find myself sleeping at the base of my staircase.But thats another story called sleepwalking.
Bloody place,man.I tellye,its a fuckin shithole.
Maybe,it was the company I kept.And the crowd,the girls,the booze,the pot,the nightlife,pubs,joints.But all that filly about too much of course had been leading to the waning interest in the city,until it actually reaches the fine line separating insanity.Office,of course,is a bit different.I thought I was cool as long as the cutter stash kept filling in.The keyboards going clat clat clat clatter,boss going a bit goo goo in his head 'cuz of the recession in the whoring country.Feck,things have quite changed around here.
But everything's all not bad.I feel like quite a gollum hiding me stash of pot from me friends who smoke up for free.My precious ,my precious.He wasnt all that wrong.
Miiiiiiaaaaaaoooow!Miiiiiaaaaoww!!!...purr purr!!!!
Awww,come here litle kitty,come here.eikhane aaye,come to daddy.pchoo pchoo,come here.....
Miaaaaaaaaooooowwwwwwwww!!!! Miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooow!!!!!!!!
Come here,I say!!!!!
Miaaaaooooowwwwwwwwwwwwerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
You bitch,u fuckin bitch....come here,come here you insolent little fuckin creature!!!!!
Miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooowwwwwwwww!!! miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoweeee!!!!!
*I take club,bat ,stick......and...*
WHAAAAM!!!BAAAAAAM BAAAAAAAM!!!!!!
Miaaooow!!!
miaaaow-miaaaow-miaaaaow!!!
miaaaooow!
mew....meww....mew....
me....................................................................................
*looking down at the pulp of the creature*
Hahahaha!!!,who's laughing now,motherfucker!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!!!Fuckin bitch!!!
To all the cat lovers(which includes me),PETA and animal activists fighting against domestic violence of animals.
This creature is not a cat.It aint even an animal nor a virtual representation of it.
This is craziness on pencil and paper.
This is 'people' trying to fill out whore-forms.
This is the clean drugfree life for the rich.
This is the grand orgy of genius intelligencia's screwing their lives up.
So go,indulge yourself.
Today's Track :Secondhand Serenade-Fall for you
They denied me 20 grands.
But whats wrong in being a pessimist.
Everyone's not perfect.Everyone's not even close to being perfect.
There have been warps of complexities inside me for quite some time.
A sense of falling through the expectations and the ambitions.
So what,I think its all cool.Hahaha.It really is.
Some song played on the laptop.The wind flutters the curtain but yet,there's a strong sweaty smell in the air.
He sat down,with his back resting against the wall.Closely following every swirl of the cigarette smoke.
She was lying on the bed.Her hair open and in her grey tee and looking at him with fixed kajal laced eyes,smiling sexily.
He rested his face on the edge of the bed and started stroking her hair.
She continued looking at him with her fixed eyes.The song played.
"......and it takes me right back......"
Breaking the silence,she asked " So what takes you right back?"
He looked up,looked somewhere and said," Maybe you....."
She gave a long blink,smiled and blew a kiss.
"....maybe nothing."
He continued staring at the glistening steel of the knife on the table.
Exams are on.Finally.About time rather.
This is serious.Not funny,though it might just seem.
Blogger will be more frequently updated.
Sometimes its really fun to watch people during exams.
I mean,when you aint solving a thing,all you can do is watch.Of course,if you've done a night out,just sleep. Its really fun.Personally speaking,I go all my way out,to spend the initial minutes checking out the problems and the questions.The next 10-15 minutes are spent in blankly staring at a particular question and thinking "What the fuck have I been doing?".Not realizing,of course,that the guy next to me has started zombie-mumbling his gibberish calculations.And then the other bespectacled guy starts scratching his hair,the invigilator plays the tabla on his desk,the ringing silence in your ears.Its all so extremely random.So....
.....so,I go all the way out.
Blank answer pages.Doodle filled roughwork.Chewed pencil ends.
The satisfaction of quitting was never so sweet.Much much more than being that guy in the coloured newspaper.
Today's Track: Open Car by Porcupine Tree
Most of it was fabricated.Like crying over the shoulder just to show everyone that I cared.Like talking about sunny days when you actually like the nights.
I need to get a grip.Man,I mean I really need to.Yesterday was a one of those realization days.You fight with your ego and you crave to move on,but then its the voice at the back of me head.A disoriented feeling of being left out,secluded,ever had that? Contorted sympathies roll out and they laugh at the back of me back.The spine had ears and eyes and they listened and saw everything,preferred to keep quiet though.Its cold,like steel,feels cold on th temples.But then,I chuckle to me-self and say "Its summer baby,put on your shades and shield your eyes from the dark warm breeze....".Insecurity,ha!!Kill me,shoot me and I'd rather die without that.
Like turkeys on warm Christmas corn.
As the gloom of the winter sets in and the chilly wind blows goosebumps on you,it brings back memories of a time long lost by technology,hairstyles,adolescence and the entire late 90's thing.
Ektu exhausted laage aajkaal,buro'o hoyechi onek.....thats why old memories be flooding me mind.
Tora calcutta trip'er aar random chobi dekh.Ill try and get a pirated file of Karzzzzzzzz.Tan-tan-tan-tandoori nights...tandoori nights!!!!
I have been experimenting with plasticine.
Its a really good thing.
Of course,it would be wrong to say that I have not been influenced by Solo's love for plasticine as well.Its soft and takes up the shape of anything,thats on your mind.
So,people go abroad.Thats not a bad thing.But people,who never travel,go abroad and travel.Thats not a bad thing either.People who never travel,go abroad and travel and then put up pictures in networking sites.Thats not a bad thing too.
But then where does suddenly all the money come from???
I went to a pub sometime back.And I overheard,two guys,maybe drunks.
"They say the world is going to be destroyed by this Big Bang experiment"
"Yeah??Man,I aint a geek,but this Big Bang is freaky"
"These scientist must be really drunk to do this shit,man.It requires a drunk state of mind."
"Ever seen chitty chitty bang bang"
Its not funny.I know.Not even remotely funny.Its just funny when you are drunk,like that Afroman song.
Combat Nap is still taking time.Now I have been wondering if its actually worth it.I should be more organized and more focussed.I will start doing so,by buying myself a pencil.
Heh,buying a pencil amost reminds me of my school days.When Mrs B threw me out of the class for not having a pencil with me.I hear they still do that in schools.And the fact that they line up the little kids in a little nice way and move them through the corridors.Thats all they do in schools.Like robots,in a robot manufacturing unit.I imagined that as a school kid.Another friend of mine used to imagine that they are penguins,searching for igloos with eskimos.
Shit,its been quite a dreamy little month.Like eating breakfast with eggs,going for random Bombay trips,spending weekend afternoons in curtained rooms,drizzles and bitching.Its like being 18 and joining college.Its also like the craving for smoking up with your fuckbuds.The fuckbuds come and ramble on. But it aint that anymore.People talk about Bollywood and Atif on caller tunes.
I got myself a pair of expensive aviator shades.Finally.A friend thinks I shifted to Poland.Gtalk corrected him.
Sometimes,the dreams ,I get ,are so horrifyingly real that they question my very existence.
So,yes.I have not been sleeping well lately. I suddenly wake up with a jolt,wipe of the sweat,drink water and try to get back to sleep,unquenched.
Over almost a month,Ive dreamt not just about human shaped monsters,killer families,betrayals,deja vu, psycho-laughters..............................................
Yet,there is no depression.No stress.
Its like entering into an entirely different realm when I close my eyes.
When I wake up,the sun just seems too bright.
Its like the madman in the local to whom no one would give directions.
Or the beggar who spends his day's earnings to gift his daughter a toffee,no one would sell.
Or the mother,who sits on the footpath,silently shouting for alms,so as to feed her dying son.
Maybe,its the way of balancing out.Give lots to some,and none to many.The scales dont shift.Its a perfect balance.
And yes,everyone still smiles at you while you drift past the withering flowers.
I am not a prophet,but its just not a just world.
Ok,Im not a superhero running around with a red cape and super boots and not-so-sexy over-worn underwear.So people.I mean the people in general.Everyone around me.Yes,if you think its you,then it be you as well.As a marathi wud say "Thambaa" .Means stop.
The sounds are too loud.The truth is too fake.The hopes are too.The money is not so-happiness.The lights are too bright.And the silence is too silent.Stop expecting.Stop trying to be in control.Burn the thinking liscence.And all what you like.
Im on a whiny moodswing mood today.My neck hurts,and my chest pains.And I have kinda accepted that I have no life.I have also realized that it is pointless to dream and hope that you will do what you want.So I conjure up philosophies.philosophies pertaining to my life.And me only.
Its like Karma.You run around a tree at the speed of light and you can actually buttfuck yourself.
While still on this realization rant,I would probably waste the next decade of my life hoping and dreaming still.And then I would know who I am and sink back into reality.And there comes the predictability.
Its still Karma.You run around the same tree at three times the speed of light and you can actually watch youself buttfuck yourself.
If you run around faster,then you can turn into a Gen-X buttfucking buddha.But nevermind that.
It all seems pointless,aint it.
And right then you realize who you actually are.
You look into the mirror in front of a half baked glow bulb.And you look into it harder and then BAM!,it strikes you.The goosebumps,the twitching of the ears,the raised eyebrows,the half enthusiastic blurt of surprise.The prophecy and Hollywood was true after all.
Yes,with great powers comes great responsibilities.
With no powers comes hollowness and an empty bottle of booze.
Who am I?
Im Spiderman.
Ok,I need a break.This banter or the blog aint helping.Im taking a break.Not from the blog or the banter.But just a break.
psst,psst....still calling earth for a super vacation.respond respond,teent teent.
teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent-teent!!!!!!
And I kept drawing the lines with my pencil.
Darkening the dots sometimes.
I picked my face up to see scribbles of black marked lines and discreet doodles strewn across the white notebook.
I looked further up.
The grumpy maths teacher was explaining a problem.Putting down numbers on the board,while the chalk made screechy sounds which gave chills down the spine.
She had a despicable smile and thick glasses,which gave a hypnotic effect everytime you stared into her eyes.
I looked down at my drawing again.
A mesmerising spiral turbinating into the middle end of the page,creating a helix with another.birds and creatures from lands unknown,filled up the rest of the page,creating a vortex effect as if they have locked horns with eternia.I scribbled a bit more,carving a shape out of the million little dots adorning my doodle.The shape somewhat represented an ugly hybrid creation of the Vitruvian man and the Phoenix,entagled within the clutches of this life and the world.An ink drop.A symmetrical folding blot of purple freedom looming across the page,like the lurking dark world.
From the corner of my eye,I caught the hypnotic attention.
She took the paper,crumpled it and threw it in the direction of the bin.
I was asked an answer.
I was also asked the reason for my insolence.
Mute.Silence.That defeaning silence.And fifty other pairs of eyes watching you.
"Get out of my class,maybe the air outside can punish you"
I opened my mouth to speak out and apologize.
"Keep quiet,just get out!!"
I walked to the crumpled paper near the door,clutched it firmly and walked out.
Outside the class,I opened the folds of the paper.The drawing remained unchanged.
That day,the paper defined obscurity.
I,defined a rebellion.
What surprisingly amazes me is the way I have been able to cope up without the occasional weekend kickbacks for the past month.
It aint global warming or the carbon guilt,but the city is quite beginning to kick back in now,ermm,suck,that is.But then so does the parliament and the entire political scenario.So I dont really blame the city or the marathi extremists.Though it is kind of funny,how everything suddenly whirlwhiling suctions back into the full circle.
So anyway.
There has been a considerable change at the way I have started to look at things.
I call it the karma approach.
Do something till its fucked,and if its fucked,it will fuck you.
Thats what happens at office.The boss fuckes his boss,and the second boss realizing he is fucked,fucks back.I just watch the show,with those little pamphlets in hand,fanning myself.The entire office is like a big orgy-ic ritual.Sometimes I feel Im gay-crashing,though.I wear a mask to be the incognito,that I try to be.
So.
At home,at a supermarket,in a prison,schools,training facilities,army.
Karma.Karma.Karma approach.
I need vacation.I desperately need a vacation.A non-home one.A beach with umbrellas and a bit of that sun,maybe.Sometimes,empty the leg types.
Things have been happy.Things have also been thumpy and red,blue,yellow,purple and green.
I just wish if I waved my hand in the air,it just would brush off the hair from someone's face,somewhere else.
Today's Track:Trains by Porcupine Tree
Ok, guys.
I would not say that i have been on a dreamless slumber.
And i aint even having a writers block cuz i aint much of a writer anyway.Its just that my internet is majorly down and im actually blogging from my phone.
Ive recently been engrossed in a dream.Its a dream im not willing to wake up from.Its a different happy psychedelia altogether.
Today's track: piano lessons by porcupine tree
The shuttle crackling sound of the leaf was a reverberation.
As the joint was passed around,the stories of the world were being discussed.
Bill Gates steps down,West has it all,Madonna and Guy splits,Ambani loses money to be richer,millions joining the B-schools,the China talks.
Malnutrition in Somalia,debt of an Indian suicidal farmer,mental torment in Afghanistan,a weeping abused kid turns to prostitution,injustice in the middle east.
Raped and over abused.
In between all this delirium and the smoke,Our Mother Earth just turns a page.
The joint is passed.
Its 2.30.
Im a bit zonked.
And I feel happy.
Dejected but happy.
This is a no-nothing post.
I would not say that I dont really care.
Today's Track:Most Precarious by Blues Travellers
There lives this person,called the Oyster boy.
Smokes.Drinks.But doesnt kill.He just tries,strives and earns a living.
He lives somewhere in the down-south of a great impartial nation with an aspiring doctor brother,a bereaved mother and a paralytic suicidal father trying his luck with one of those 'cry for help' things.
Scrimpy salary,not enough to make both ends meet.
Consider a timeframe,and the survival rate for him would have dropped to zero,maybe.
That is his life.
But the story is not about him.
The story is about some thousands of middle class families,we choose to ignore with a belief of "that great nation" Rising.
What rise are we exactly talking about?what?.
The story is about the emotionless anarchic conformity of human existence.
There are good men,like the Oyster boy.
There are bad men,whom we may or may not respect.
And then there are socialites.Highly respected by the society,white-collared,masquerades with congeniality and love yet is evil to the very core.
Unhearted fucks,I spit on them.
I thought losing all hope was freedom.But not when,hope really does not exist anymore.
I was almost moved to tears.
But hey,my excuse is that I can never change the world,can I now?
I have not been blogging lately.I was actually busy being the corporate whore,that I always have been.Earning paychecks and slaving for white people from white rich land.
The Calcutta holiday has been,lessay, a blast.
It was as usual great to drink and smoke up with Roy,yet again.Finally got to know Cee and Onn and Dreamy.Hanged out with Pooja,got acquainted,which never really happened the last time we met in Pune.Got beerdrunk with Rahul.Watched a German-legend goalie pose for photographs and not play,while Dada entertained Eden Gardens.There were quite a few more surprises that spewed along the way,but are un-mentionable here.
I have been feeling rather green.Envious.
Of Rishi's Tattoo. (see picture of Roy and me in my infamous Road Rage tee)
Chumma ran away again,I think.
Of others' ability to play the guitar.
And of successes of some people around me.
But even after all the green and the cribbing,Im happy.I happy for reasons unknown.Happy for things not going my way and resigning to it.I have also been hallucinating and suffering from temporary memory loss.I have been drinking,quite a bit and happily.Sometimes smoking up.I even blacked out recently,happily,again.I hallucinated while I was in office.And I promised never to drink again,and broke my promise the very next day.Happiness is such a drug that it makes you happy,all over again.I love the idea of creating delusionary ideas and escaping all away.
My un-photo blog is coming up soon,Combat Nap,Watch this space or that.
A certain person is definitely not fat,even though she is convinced she is.
Orkut revealed an ex-foe.He has bitch-tits now.
And something's up. I can't tell for sure.
Ever seen a Hippo dance??They need lots of love.
So do I.more and more.
Well,Calcutta has been sweaty.I could rather do without the Carpe Diem phrase.
So there has been The Xrong's,which I loved absolutely.Its expensive but it has this Irish wooden pub look to it.Im thinking of making it my hangout,instead of Oly,which is,nowadays,smelling like that certain rotten Mallu hair-oil.
I loved Eden as well. the place is always so vibrant.I liked the little verbal brawl we had with some drunk Biharis,who were supporting the rival team. one of them looked like a smart-ass chinki and the other one,resembled one of my old college fucks.So its justified. R shouted like a lone bengali with improved hindi.But the big guy thought I was the don,and apologized.Dada was kick-ass with his Pak comrade.We were slightly drunk and Sreesanth got Fucked.I loved every moment of it.Even the chicken at the dhaba tasted good.
And then there was that bit of pot at Roy's place.With smokes and beer ,of course.Perfect good old times.Even watched Kahn play his farewell match.With Ms.Gums and CoffeeStain.Salt lake stadium was electrifying with drum-beats and MB flags around.I loved the way Gums described it on her blog.
"Yesterday, I went for the football match starring Oliver Kahn who got honoured by everyone who was anyone in Kolkata."
I wanted to also post about a bengali guy,I overheard in the bus and also about some of the football fan antics.But its late.
We had the mini blogmeet.Except that in a blogmeet,you see lots of new faces.Onn got late.CoffeeStain,Gums,Moolah and Dreamy met up.Dreamy dropped water on her pants.CoffeeStain burger looked like Vada-Pao.Moolah's pineapple juice tasted like fermented piss.Gums actually reasearched about the food at T3 and ordered French fries.For more pics,Gums blog again.
I have also been creating superheroes.I have a team of 3 now and we intend taking over the world.Vee.Cee.Dee.
Ive also been having beertalks.Im happy.
Now,what? You are saying it aint right,huh?
Yeh,of course,it aint friggin' right.I know,it aint love.
Well,I dunno if it is....maybe,you know.
Ha,if I dont know who will,eh...and I know it aint.
But I think its her,I really do.
But tell me something,of all people....her??
Well,she's cute,she gives me sweet fat pinches and she smells nice..
You're crazy,why not the other woman?
The first one?
Yeah.I remember her.
Im thinking career interests.Not mine,of course,duhhh!
What?
Ya,she has plans,big plansI hear.I mean,money,being rich,,you know,I think.
Ya?? And what about "The plans"??
Just dont bother,I dont think I know.
Create a cult? Change the world?
I like that.
You know you are never gonna do that.
Ha!you are just being fuckin prejudiced.
No,I just know you are never gonna do that.
How do you know,what I can do.
Now now,remember,'John','Jack' and the wrong son who got killed?
What has that go to do with this?
Well,maybe you aint the wrong son.
Maybe you are way too fucked up.
So you are trying to get back.
No way.
Ha,I see anger.Revenge,I presume then.Revenge,best served cold,eh??
Fuck you,I think I need a cold shower.
Ok.
***Curtain Raising Drumroll***
***Mallya's Skimpy cheerleaders with pom-poms***
***Drunk whistles and shouts***
.....................................................and of course,all that fuckin jazz!!!
Presenting,Chumma aka The Bitch.....
My 3 grand bike.....aka Ravaged Roger Ace' (havent named it yet,though) aka The Mud
And finally ,a moo-creation.... Marty Fonda aka MF aka The Flower Child,
To all the evil society and people,Moolah and the gang comes with beer and peace!!!
I like it when its quiet around here.
No big shit hullabloo.Or talks about big things happening.
It does not really feel all that bad to take things a bit slow on the fast lane.Become a bit mentally lost,doing things all on your own without technology, and rediscovering the love for things long forgotten and wondering where exactly I went wrong.And why?
I have bought an old mud bike for 3 grands,which Im particularly proud of.I'm also drawing and doodling a lot nowadays,just for the heck of it or maybe for jee-jee. And I have finally begun to think politically and dressing up my teenage years.
All this does not really sound either happy or sad.But it just feels the laid-back slow.
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:
We Own the Night ,that was ages ago.Long live the net.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Reading McCormack's"The Road" and Rushdie's "Midnight Children" .... also of course,the Mad magazines and comic strips on the net.
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Ludo,Scotland Yard,Battleship
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Mad,Reader's digest and Calvin and Hobbes
5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Red Kababs,wet earth,Petrol and LPG,hot chocolate mousse,new books,smell of the beach,the shells and the sea,of course....
6. FAVORITE SOUND?
Footsteps on a wooden floor,creaking of the garden gate,crashing of the sea-waves,Jim Morrison,Piano,vibration of the cell phone,pin-drop silence,laughter.....
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
The feeling of being normal
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
Is it morning already??!!
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Calcutta roll stalls.SubWay.MacD's.Burger King.
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? ....
*gush-gush*...Akaash and Sunayna
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?
Stop working and go travelling .....
12.DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
Nope,I just about drive.
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Does this question have a second-meaning *wink-wink*...or is it just a trick question???
14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Coooooooooooooool,with a capital C.
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
I just bought a cheap mud bike,does that count??
16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Water,Beer,Orange Tang
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD ....laze around a bit more.
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Stems on a Broccoli...??
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?I think white,makes me look wise.
20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.................Calcutta,Delhi,Gangtok,Pune.
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football,Basketball.
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
She has a virtual tiger in her blogsite.
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
crumpled newspapers,2 unfinished thumbs up bottles,an cool lookin' ashtray and diiiiiiiiiiiirt.
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Maybe,but the next time,I'd prefer richer parents.
25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Night Owl,i guess
26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
sunny side up,always!!!
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
the bed and the loo.
28. FAVORITE PIE?
I dont fancy pies much,but apple would do fine.
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Vanillaaaaaaaaa,sometimes chocolate for a change.
30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
I have to Tag this????
If there was something I could do,to change all that.
Maybe,I would have done it.
Instead,I just lied.
Everything would have been different.
I could have said no and burned those clay figures I made.
I could have sulked,been arrogant and not look.
But yes,the colour of the hum and the serenity was beautiful.
I just got lured.
I got lured to the vast sea of chances,not knowing what lay beaneath.
Beneath there was dirt,grime and grunge.And some stains of daily filth.
I could not run,but I turned back to see,all whom I despise.
But then,all this pain is meant to wake me up.
Today its just a stone world.
Today's Track:Twisted Transistor by Korn
99 bottles of beer on the wall,99 bottles of beeeeer!
If one of those bottles ever happen to fall,
There'll be 98 bottles of beer on the wall...
98 bottles of beer on the wall,98 bottles of beeeeer!
If one of those bottles ever happen to fall,
There'll be 97 bottles of beer on the wall...
97 bottles of beer on the wall,97 bottles of beeeeer!
If one of those bottles ever happen to fall,
There'll be 96 bottles of beer on the wall...
96 bottles of beer on the wall,96 bottles of beeeeer!
If one of those bottles ever happen to fall,
There'll be 95 bottles of beer on the wall...
95 bottles of beer on the wall,95 bottles of beeeeer!
If one of those bottles ever happen to fall,
There'll be 94 bottles of beer on the wall...
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I think ,I'm gonna die laughing!!!!!!
"..its not just a high.Its a psychedelia hitting the brain at every heartbeat...."
It aint really hard to survive among all this.
I meant among all the asshole tax,soaring real estate prices,lots of local fucks and bad roads,its still really possible to survive.
But then,I still got the weather and Toonz.
Its a long week.And an even longer day.
And I cannot seem to finish anything!!
Track today:Hard Sun-Eddie Vedder
.....and it still aint changing a thing!!!
I'm just sorry,I did not turn out what I was supposed to be.
This is February.
I mean its still fuckin' February.
I'm a million times pissed.
I'm broke and this month is taking forever to end.
Really young people are getting married to really young people like tigerwasps in love.
I called up someone on someone's advice and I've been thinking about it since.
The fan in my room has conked off just when mosquitoes are rediscovering their love for blood during summers.
I'm reaching an end point.I just wanna leave.I need happy days.
God,someone,anyone.When will February end??????????
Ok,Chumma is out.Officially thrown out by the society people and the watchman,who scoffed at our car.The bitch had it calling for,....went on a rampage with the garbage bins.I liked it though.Especially when our 'pet pup' turned hostile and havoc'ed with the old man's house.After all the milk and the beer it drank,I suddenly miss Chumma .
Everything's been so usual.So normal enough,to freak me out. Sometimes accolades and praise is fun and famous.But then it sorta gets on the nerves.I'm tired of seeing the dumb faces of my office colleagues everyday.I'm tired,done and out.I think of one word nowadays.Escape.To a different city,place or planet maybe.Trip.To somewhere out of reach.Meet.Some people and stories of the world.I wonder if all this depression,failure,pain is bought.But so is the funk we are living under.
We all have dreams.At least,speaking for myself.Then we have inspirational stories,we have those special people,apprehensive-ness,of course.But all that separates is just putting the foot beyond the line of decision and risk.Drive,is what I call it.Dreams,Ive had enough.I just lack the fuckin drive.
So some of these days have been good.As in proper windy winter days.Like waking up early,eating breakfast,watching TV, fucken office,drinking coffee,warm snuggly bed,drinking beer.Im just glad its still pretty chilly cold here in Pune. Maybe,I'm also glad cuz Burger King is so better than MacDonalds.Its wishful thinking to be happy,but what the heck......And mistakes,I'm happy about them,but the blues still exist.
Sometimes I just wish I could just lie on the lawn all day long and think about nothing.
But there is too much going on.
and I need more crayons to just colour it all up..........
I need some booze.I need to turn into a song or a sketch.I need to turn into some random vegetable and be sold off.
I suddenly miss Calcutta and the smell of Park Street and JU.I miss Chumma,as well!!
PS: I am the only Debanuj in Facebook( yaaaay!!)
And there are 25 other Debanuj's in orkut,who either look gay or with display pictures of Shah Rukh Khan.Its a sad fuckin world!
Its nothing.Nothing,really.
Man,things have been a bore and boring.Its not even one of those phases in life where you realize you need to DO something,stand UP for something,believe IN something......
No,it aint all that.This part,as I call it,is the "looking blankly ahead"............
You know eyes wide open,cold breeze in the hair,voices going in and out and you still look into that something-forever with that same half-perfect expectations.
That same fuckin feeling.
When you know,things have changed,but you refuse to move on.Ground yourself to that point of time,where you actually felt you existed.But its all so different now.Everything somehow just about passes by.
Maybe,if the one on the right was on the left and the one on the left was on the middle..........
So I saw this dream......
Two persons who called themselves the God and the Devil,were talking.I was the third person.
God:I made the universe,the earth,the stars,moon,sun,people,animals,gave life and have created something beautiful..........
Devil:I get tattoo'ed on humans more than you........haha!!
God:Fuck you,infidel!!!!
Both start laughing loudly,and suddenly change into Al Pacino and Robert Di Niro,look at me and start shooting me.
I forget all that happens after that 'cuz Im dead.....duhhhhhh!!
I should stop watching too many gangster movies!!
Even Chumma,our pet pup,ran away to some Tamilian household!!!!
Snazzy clothes and flashy lights aint really everything.There is much shit around all these to actually give a shit to ...ummm....all these.
So,I'm an eat-shit entertainer.Not the Van Wilder type.But I'm an entertainer.Maybe,when drunk also.I tend to act like a kid and also like a clown.I talk stupid.I talk nonsense.Many of course mistake that for foolishness or dumb insulting caricature-ing.And then there are terms like immaturity and being jejune or whatever.Well,agreed.
Then there are those who wanna take advantage of the nice person,that I am.Well,fuck them.
And so,snazzy clothes and flashy lights aint everything.
I meet these certain people everyday,who I believe are disillusioned by the fact that the world revolves around them,their clothes and their lights.They also believe that giving some shit aint the same thing as giving some shit.
And I love their astonished-look faces every time I tell them I'm a brahmin.Their cringed faces when I tell them that I eat beef,drink,curse every-random-thing,sport a goatie (*hahaha*) ...blah blah.And of course,their disgusted faces,when I show them how lovely my middle finger is.
These people are either born ignorant or ignorant.
I kinda have reached a really confusing part of my life.
I'm having bad dreams and beautiful nightmares.I like and I dont like.I do this and fuck up that.
Something is wrong.Or someone.
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