Thursday, October 15, 2009

Chhuti.

So I am finally getting a long vacation.

No,not Ladakh or the Andamans or Paris or Caribbeans.Nothing fancy.
I mean,my long vacations are rather boring.
Its mainly like hop on a flight.Go to the city.Smile at parents.Be a burden for a few days.Take the first flight on a Monday.And come back to work.

The city??
Calcutta,where else.

A friend made a logo for my imaginary fast food joint,Dino Ding-a-Ling.
It looks quite cool.

Monday, September 14, 2009

What is the height of being well known?
A hijre in a local train recognizes me and S and almost ran towards us.
The last time he/she commented on how a great jodi we were and also complained about the tee shirt I was wearing.I gave him/her some money then.
This time,even though he/she shook hands with me,he/she wasnt so lucky.

Friday, September 11, 2009

I like Poker.I like 29 way way better.But I like poker too.I mean,it teaches you a lot about people and what they are.Like someone who doesnt bet with a loose hand,is probably a pussy.And the opposite,a dickhead.If that dickhead wins,he's called a winner.Like,of course,the millions of successful people.The non-winning dickheads land up in the streets and they die,like a little blip.Blips,by the way,are those who we are indifferent to.Together,these blips can create a sound but we quell them back to being little blips.Its a funny circle concept.Like the food chain and karma.
So I went to this engagement to Bangalore,last weekend.A close friend was getting married to a nice guy from Bombay,both mallus.Out of a two hundred,I was the only one travelling long distance.Its strange how strangers meet and congregate for a purpose totally random.
And yes,the train journey.I like trains.Not because I can actually look out of the window and see things that are not fluffy and blue and white.The hustle bustle in the station,drinking cha and talking to old men.
So,I played this weird card game with three old men on the train.The game was simple.Like solitaire,except that you have four people playing it.So while playing,this particular old man tells me this story about how his friend was shot down by the Chinese army when they were playing bridge and how he escaped after killing one of the chinaman.It was a nice story,even though I had my doubts about it.This is the kind of story you would likely cook up when you are stoned.But he was vegetarian and old.These three old men were all dressed in white dhotis ,with white hair and white moustaches.One had one of those old black glasses.Stuck up in the timeframe of the 30's.Never changing.Ever white.They were travellers rounding up the country,they said.I doubted that too.Fuckin old frail men faking up fake stories.When we neared the station,as they were packing their little less luggages,they jokingly asked me if I mistrusted everyone.Though I gave them a sleepy laugh,it was quite creepy.They were travelling to Pune and offered me a lift.But I passed.

Today's track---- Old man (NeilYoung,again)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Utter Amul Butter


Utterly butterly delicious.The Amul story.
The Amul ads,to me,are a revolution.Being the largest running ad campaign ever,its a little revolution though.

But the amount of political,social and cultural awareness and impact,this campaign have had is just tremendous.


Thursday, August 13, 2009

As darkness drew in, he put on his jacket .It was windy that night. It has been a lot of running around lately. Panjim,Bombay,Nagpur,Surat,Dilli,Shimla,Lucknow,Guwahati,Siliguri,Calcutta,Puri,Vizag,Madurai.Now Bangalore.He was getting used to this kind of life. Killing people, setting up sticky bombs, leaving behind crying kins and wives, covering his tracks, mingling among the crowd.
For his new job, he had to know Kannada .Learn it. The guest house, he put up in, was nice. It even had a mint on the pillow. The owners seemed to know he was coming. Reservation done. The procedure was simple every time. Two hours after he lodged in, he was supposed to drop in a line to Harry. Harry aka Hardip aka 'The Hard-dick man'. No, he wasn’t Harry's lover, though he sucked up to him quite a bit. Harry was the one who introduced him to the rest. Harry's a nice man, he thought.

So after the phone call to Harry, Harry makes a call to someone. That someone calls up person B. And person B calls him up exactly an hour later. Standard things are asked. Standard procedure, like the cops. How are you doing, you should visit this monument there, How’s the weather there, How’s the hotel room. All so casual. Then person B calls up his boss. The boss who wants the job done. The boss who pays.70 percent for him,20 percent for Harry and 10 for the schmuck in between. After half an hour, person B calls him up again and gives him the details of the job.
This time, it was easy. A rich old man, living alone. Pedophilic tendencies, and involved in some contracting business shit. People, like person B's boss, wants him dead. They make good coffee here, he thought as he walked out of the cafe. It was windy that night. And he put his jacket on. The streetlights dimly lit up the alley. Footsteps behind me, he thought. He turned and found two drunks walking casually. He waited for a second and watched the guys leaving.He walked ahead. The lights became more dim and he dug his hands deep into the jacket pocket. A cat ahead crossed his path.
Bad luck Jo, he thought.

Quick footsteps behind. He turned. He saw a dark figure running towards him. Before he could get to his gun, someone started to strangle him from behind. As he was being gagged, the black figure ran and punched him on his face. He fell. The second guy kicked him in his guts. It pained like a motherfucker. The first guy punched him, again. And again . Four, five, six. He counted. He knew it wasn’t really sweat on his face. Seven, eight, nine. On his face. Fuck fuck, stop stop. Ten, he counted. In the streetlight, he could see an impression of his face on the street, coloured with blood. Exact round eyes decorated with parts of his teeth. He felt the coldness of the steel as one of the guys, touched the gun barrel on his temple. It felt good. The cold feeling.

"This time the job was you, Jo"
He had heard the voice before .Ok, hit me, already.

It turned all deaf when the barrel boomed. More than the pain, the silence was killing him. All he saw when he opened his eyes, were his own blood and two pairs of legs walking away. When the silence lifted, he heard his own panting and the footsteps.

Its said the entire life lasts in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time.
That is all so fucking crap, he thought.
The streetlights slowly closed down upon him.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Flu by

Ok,so I look like such a psychopath with the mask.
What is this with the swine flu anyway? You got it on the news, on the roadside hoardings,on advertisements,in fuckin humans,in their brain.More than a bloody disease,its turned into a typical dinner conversation.And unfortunately the city I live in had to be....fuckin had to be,the hub of all this flu.The mothership of the virus.Yes,whattay to describe it.Like those aliens,which invade the earth.The mothership waits outside in space and it sends the warriors aliens to invade good ol' earth.Like the viruses.The viruses bloody go on creating havoc,every frikkin time.Bird flu,HIV,swine,mofo,sons of bitches.No wonder,the pigs are taking revenge on humans for abusing them and calling them names.Wonder whats gonna happen when donkeys start flu-ing.Especially,not to forget we call the dirtiest part of our body,the asshole.What happened to peace,anyway.If only humans could also mutate,maybe then we could like adapt and fuck up these tiny little creatures.and maybe show 'em who's the boss.
So,there,anyway.I look like a psychopath with the mask on.

Today's Track : My my,hey hey---- Neil Young

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Its easy,they said.
Get in there.Grab the shit.Close the door quietly.And come out.

A thousand thrills,they also said.That comes with the fuckup.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Its dark.Its cloudy.Gloomy.Its a weather I probably like.
Lots of things needed to be sorted out.When you feel like a peanut,ready to be gobbled up by this magnanimous world we live in.you are probably making a mistake somewhere.A few days back,I took a long walk in the rain.it felt good,not the 'being cleaned of sins' good bullshit.But good in generally. Somewhere the selfish existence felt trivial enough.
Somewhere down the line,I'll remember all of this.
Last day,the evil egg wanted to kill himself with a shotgun,instead he shot the ol' granma' across the street.Then he slept for 10 hours.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Heh

When you lie and lie again,that lie becomes a truth,till you forget that once upon a time,it was actually a lie. - Anonymous


I have been so fuckin around with my job.I mean really fuckin around.And it feels so good.Heh heh.Recession times,I should be careful,people say.But I've never felt better.But damn,people have been having work issues all around.Do this.Do that.Not much money.Too much work.Till I heard,R's story.I thought that guy would be having a time of his life.Being the sailorman,that he is,romancing the high seas,visiting countries.Well,dream cut short.Ship gets stuck in the seas,often.He cribs.Sigh,don blame him much.But for us,the better ones,with paychecks.We have it all easy,I speak for meself though.Sit in plush AC offices,licking asses,but paid for it too.Ambitions forgotten,replaced by 'need more money' attitude.I like my mom.She believes in everything superstitious,which is good.Especially cuz i dont beleive in anything.Not even Communism.Or gravity.And then I see the brothers in my family.I supposed to feel insignificant.Undistinguished.Like a peanut,ready to be gobbled up.But heh,I dont.What do we all work towards? Whats next? Better living.Or towards what we really want to be one day. Or or, the future (???).Heh,and the hypocrits that we are,we are ready to sacrifice everything.Livin a lie,thats what they say.What I'm saying is meaningless. But ever been struck by a lightening and still be cool about it.Heh.

Today's Track: The Wrestler (OST) - Bruce Springsteen

Friday, May 08, 2009

Pigs in zombie world

A Zombie was walking down the zombie lane talking over the phone to someone.In Bengali.
*Yes,Zombies speak that language*
So,this zombie was walking the talking to fellow zombie about how he had an arguement with his wife and then had an accident.Which didnt kill him.
And he wanted advice from fellow zombie about how he can explain the biggie zombies about his situation.
Its a zombie fuckin world,I tellye.
Nuke it.


Heh.So,lots have been up.Heh.Im such a liar.
The weather's been up,basically.With it,the sun as well.And its not just in the sky.Tai basically blogging'o hochhilo na.
Work has been low,as well.And employees have been acting funnier.Bitching behind backs is at an all time high.The Company has been churning out more zombies and zombiastic methods to ensure,every zombie behaving like a human would be fired.Shot.Bang.
Not that it concerns me much.Wearing a zombie persona can be quite complicated for a human.Especially when the human tendencies just happen to splurge out.For example,while walking in a single file,you get an itch to scratch your junior.But you cant,cuz you are supposed to be a fuckin zombie and... zombies never scratch.Cuz they probably dont have the entire crotch region.Or maybe,cuz they are so fuckin dead inside,they hardly feel fucking itches.Just like that movie.Equilibrium.Sad it was only.
There are lots to do,on the lots-to-do list though.But I just gotta blame it on the sports season and the weather maybe.And the flu.Yes,I caught it.Let it go too.I think it was what it was.
Remember people,stay away from the sharks and the pigs.Cuz sharks come alive on plates.
And pigs dont fly.They flu.

Friday, April 03, 2009

That little buzz in the head.

Of stars and the shooting stars.Wishes and well-wishers.
Of ipods and XBox's.Even Wii's.And Iphones,Playstations.
Of Yawning Hippos,Moo'ing cows and Money-making-Monkeys.How they never stare into our eyes,but cats and dogs do.
Of the unimaginable world of dreams.Sleepwalking and sleeptalking and alter egos.
Of the quest to attain higher things.Being higher beings.Just getting high.And sleeping on a bench in the park.
Of fullstops,commas and question marks,which paints us all.The surprise and the laughter.The tears and comments.
Of politically motivated speeches and college lectures.The class bunking and the votes.The corruption and the leaders.
Of the wind.The one that blows.The one that doesnt.The one that brings good news.The one that kills.
Of the money.only the money.That is all.The money.Money is all.Evil,good,black,white,grey.Its money.The honest money.The corrupt money.Bills.Coins.Paper.Metal.Money for all that food,thoughts and all that we know of.Its money.Just the money.

Koto din?Aar koto din?Shob'i toh shesh.Ekhon baad de.Onek toh holo.Eibaar chol boshi aar purono din'er adda maari.Shaathe shudhu kintu chaa aar cigaretta'te laagbe.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Moo-A Dino story

video

Ok.
Want a beer,Dino?
Growl.Lets eat you.
Want some chinese food,Dino?
Growl.Only if you're the meat.
How about some cheese,Dino?
Growl.I got a gun.Lets play bang-bang.And then eat you.
Do you want to get high,Dino?
Growl.Do I get to eat you after that.
65 million years have passed.What now,Dino?
Growl.
Time to get extinct,Dino?
Growl growl.I will still live and eat you,someday.
Bye.

*the video is a bit inverted.though inconvenience not regretted*

Monday, March 16, 2009

25

24 stooo-pid years in life,
24 stooo-pid years.......
If you really ever cross a year,
It becomes 25 stooo-pid years in life.....

25 stooo-pid years in life,
25 stooo-pid years.......
If you really ever cross a year,
It becomes.........................................



The new lows: Everything.Old.

The new high:I'm alive.


Happy birthday,till it lasts.sigh.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Its kickass.
Lazy bastard only Ive become to even say that.
But its quite kickass.Really.
Abar student hote chai.
Porikkha'o debo.ekebaar'e sincerely.Keo help korbe?

Saturday, March 07, 2009

On a new low

I'm selfish.
I'm little,funny and ugly.
I cant drive a bike.And I cant cook.
I'm boring and suicidal.
I'm the worst little thing that has happened in my life.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

The Standoff

Moo wipes the sweat off his face and puts his hand down on the holtster.He looked to his left,The Egg gruntingly went into an assaultive pose.On his right,The Darth Vader looked on,unabated.His dark cape fluttering in the wind.With the sun beating down mercilesslessly and the cries of the eagle,circling above,it was a perfect setting for a mexican standoff.

The Egg:Why are we here?Why are we fighting?
Vader(to Moo): Luke,I'm your father.
Moo:huh?? Whoa!No way!!Vader,fuck off.

In the middle,there was a barren tree with just a single leaf,clinging on to one of the branches.The wind blew.The leaf shook hard.Fingers tightened on the triggers.Eyeballs staring into each other and the feeling of the hot wind on the neck,the moment just froze.And then the leaf fell.

Bam!
Zapak!!
Bang Bang!

As the two bodies writhed in pain,a third figure came up to them.
The Egg:Damn you,ohh my yellow blood!!! I'm so scrambled!!!
As Moo lay there,the figure of the Vader put him in shade.Vader took out his light saber,looked at Moo in the green light and said.
"JOIN US OR DIE"

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Freaky


There was this little girl,on the road,doing freaky tricks. It was amazing.Well,for five bucks.....boy,what a performer!!
Apart from the ear twitching and the knee bending,I cannot do anything as freaky.
Ive always wanted to be a part of a random circus,which moves in between towns in those small little cars,with all the other freaky circus people......

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Kill Marty.


This,I, drew up while I was in an office meeting.So excuse the irregular bad drawing.
Just wondering,how would it be if someone happened to steal the superhero costume,during a time of crisis.
Would the Mr.Superhero still save the planet?
Please kill Marty.Please.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Having spent my entire childhood,watching their movies, I suddenly came across this poster on the net.This reminds me of that entire phase of growing up,video casettes and the originials.....

When the world went ga-ga over the Terminators and the Rambos ,Bud and Hill were my heroes.