Sunday, December 31, 2006

Ah! the last day.....

Its 'THE' 31st night....and what! supposed to party and drink till i drop or with babes with lotsa meat...take some acid....have a glass of champagne,just for the sake of it....get high on life and (ill)legal drugs....But you know what im doing rite writing this blog(part drunk and part stoned). ok!, i dont mean to be a self cribbing evil bastard,but someone has to stop.Instead i spent this day at rishi's place.Boozed a bit.Got stoned even more.I guess that was the best way i could have ended my year.Felt good!Felt real damn good.I guess every bad year should have an ending as sweet as this.:)
Ha!.And cause my 31st party got cancelled but it does every year,so that shouldnt bother me much too.Its been a really sucked up year.College finished...and leaving the SMIT hostel was one of the hardest things ive had to cope up with....and and...welll,i joined my new Infosys job and im supposed to be proud of it....and other non-mentionable things happened too.Bottomline yes!,the year sucked...probably a bit too much.But i met many old friends too...and found new ones...caught on with some of the really old friends with whom i had no contact till then.... and im happy for all of them...happy for the life they lead...for the way they are.... especially some of them....i envy them for they way they live....but im glad for them.... :)
I love rishi's joints and sniffing up some coke.At least they make me much more(thats 4 m's in one straight sequence :P) happy and un-fake.


Say Ohaiye!!! Happy New Year!...
(yaa whatever!heehee!)

Saturday, December 30, 2006

31st December,2006

Dear diary,
I dreamt about a girl today.Liked it.I never really wanted it to end.For once i want my dream to come true(sometime in my life!).Im confused.

Love XXX,

yet another year passes by.Too fast.Am i happy?Am i sad?Am i better off?Am i concerned?
People say .."..u should rite down ur objectives before the year starts ...."....and i switch on the TV...lay down on the bed and watch some old primetime movie.Thats how my year ends every year.People have a notion i party and club a lot.But you know what...No parties for me.Just the good old me and my sleep,like any other day.Now thats why people call me boring!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Oh! Calcutta!

Born by the Ring

They called it was ...and boring!

The darkness overshadows all....issgood!

Road to freedom

I generally work on nights like this.....1000 miles away.....

Anyone hungry( tee-hee-hee)!!!

My secret window view!
If only my lines could write my fate,i would have been dead by now!

I love Calcutta. The more i stay away from it....the more attached i become.....its only after we stay outta this city that we actually realize how beautiful a city it is.People can call it whatever they want....Yes!it is dirty and messed up.Yes!We do have countless number of strikes.Yes!the pollution level is really high.Yes!The government probably sucks.Yes!The weather sucks too and probably the next-door neighbour stinks too.But ................................... the maacher bazaar, the un-hygenic fuchka with a mouth-watering tingly taste, the roshogollas ,the park street,the ol' shyamol'da in some bookstore in college street, the biye baari and the panjaabi,a slow-tram-ride for the non-rushers............................

I was walking back home,when through the corner of my eye i saw someone staring at me.It was one of my para-rickshawalla's who used to take me to my kintergarden.I smiled at him.He smiled at me back.
It feels great to be recognised by someone ordinary,it felt great to be back.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

"Whether u r a cop or a front of a loaded does that matter...."


"In not the product of the environment around me....the environment around me is the product"

If there was one thing martin sorcesse excluded from the movie …that was the heroic and extra-dramatic death of all the protagonists in the movie. In one word… A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
Jack Nicolson was at his best,as always though.LiCap carried on his successful angry young bad man look .Matt Damon was in his most unexpected role ever.And Mark Wahlberg was so tooo good…!!!....
It’s a weird movie.But then isstoogood!

(Note: advisory warning: Excessive usage of the 4-letter word and stunning obscene livid dialogues which makes the movie so Boston-ish and really worth the bloody money)

Saturday, November 25, 2006

George Costanza once said.......

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.I mean,life is tough.It takes up a lot of your time.What do you get at the end of it? A death. Whats that , a bonus?!?

I think of the life cycle is all backwards.You should die first,get it out of the way. Then you should go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy , go collect your pension then,when you start work , you get a gold watch on your first day.You work for forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol , you party and you get ready for High School.You go to primary school,you become a kid,you play ,you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby,you go back,you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating,spa,room service on tap, and then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen.

LOL!....This is all so much sense and so much meaningful to me now!

Crib crib crib and ohhh crib again!

Im not too much happy nowadays.I dunno why. Its probably a moodswing and I do hope it’ll pass.But I was so much happy some days back for reasons which only my mind can comprehend.I loved the air,the trees,the sun-at-dawn,sun-at-noon,sun-at-twilight.I almost loved everything.Im glad I took some decisions which I had to take.

But now its not even fun to drink.I feel im turning into a compulsive Devdas or some shit while im drinking.Now that’s sad!....And I didn’t even watch the new bond movie or the dhoom 2 flick……grrrrrr!!!!

Ive even provided monetary help to many people.I should have felt good but I didn’t.

Holy fuck the mother of sweet moses, im bloody 22 years old,im turning into a psychotic stoic prick who’d assassinate Gandhi with a chainsaw if he came back to earth again.And im twenty-fuckin-two years old!!!...and I hate it cuz I pant while playing and ive become too old to dance.

These days im talking a lot to myself. It feels real great to imagine situations.Future ones,of course.And then probably look into the mirror and imagine and talk about it.Yes!I even imagine me conversing with the people I know.Thats become my pastime whenever im bored.And its also really great to talk to animals sometimes.I feel,they r the only ones who actually understand my weirdness towards everyone else.

I hate growing-up.I thought I had a pact with time,but I got ditched badly.Some months back people actually told me hows 17-ish I look. But kaching ! they say yes,I do look bloody 22.I really hate growing-up, not that I had a great childhood and a crazy adolescence …… but sometimes being all grey scares me.Especially when I know im about to die very VERY soon……..

OK. I have this weird haircut and Im not sure if I like it or hate it! Cuz im as bald as an eagle and I wanna eat ostrich egg omlette!! I also wanna dig a hole in my backyard and hide all my childhood treasures. But hmpfh…I aint at home!


Sunday, November 19, 2006

"We can't stop here, this is Bat Country"

I saw three movies today...!!!.......loved two 'o them..hated the rest!


hilarious to the power-of-i-dunno-what!...i had to keep my brain aside and keep listenin to the non veg dialogues....L-M-A-O!...too much!!!.....i guess i needed it......its takes something to appreciate such a nasty thing...but then its all about how u enjoy it!..and boy!..i enjoyed it...!!!


okk,im supposed to show some respect to all the heroes and the matyrs of 9/11......and trust me,i do it.But a movie is a movie! gotta be appealing enough to pull the crowds or something.I think nicolas cage aint gettin any good offers or he's finally plannin to call it quits in holloywood. okk,even we all do call the 'jihads' bastards.....but 50 bucks down the freaking drain!


i think its the best johnny depp movie ive seen.and also one of my favourite movies.So much so, that i caught it again on Zee english today.Fear and Loathin in Las Vegas is a movie based on the semi-autobiographical book by Hunter S. Thompson.Drugs,Sex,Alcohol,the witty humour,the social sattire,very pulp-fiction-ish and Tarantino-ish...but amazing !!!!! I know i will recommend it to everyone i know.

"Raoul Duke (narrator) :..............We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon................. "

(im trying real hard to be a movie critic in case my job doesnt work out too well..:).....)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Im not spiderman,in case u think i am!!!!! .!.

What the fuck????.....i never thought i would ever E-V-E-R crib about my own life.....especially after bitching about others......But i am...talkin to random people about how my life sucks and how i much frustrated for no-reason i am......i aint a bloody dragon-fly which keeps of fluttering around clean,dirty or whatever gardens for no fuckin reason.....yes,my cell phone keeps on conking off whenever i decide to request for my balance information.....yes,im now becoming a social drinker( finally!) and l'il alcohol is making me dizzy.....yes,i did think i had cancer untill someone actually shoved the guts up my throat and asked me to not to get mindfucked by it......also yes,i get embarressed sissily for some wierd having tooooooo many dreams about tooo many people and its freaky.......ive become bloody meticulous about my room,tryin to keep it un-messy(okk,i loooooooooowe being messy)......and i REALLY wanna smoke some shit ,even though i know how fake it sounds.......
And last day i was actually caught by the instructor for pointing laser beams into other's eyes( cuz i was tooo darn bored)....not that i was reprimanded but whtever.....
Last day i was walking down the road with ashwin...and i saw this lady screaming frantically from an auto and that shittly scared me....i never get scared generally.....but it kinda reminded me of that nice madman who hit me with his sack about 5 years back......i didnt think much about it then......but now since ive become the great-o-thoughtful-one ...i think.."why on earth wud a madman pick on me "....!!!!!......kintu jai hok....he fucken did.....he hit me terribly with his filthy sack.....while i was walkin down Jodhpur park after school......and not just that.....what petrified me more was the look he gave me....which kind of resembled a hybrid of the Abominable snowman from Tibet,the wierd monkey speicimen from Congo which they show in Discovery and Cramer from Seinfeld.......a normal person wud have hit the madman back, i believe......but i fucken ran!!!!.....NOW i do find reasoning in his assault on me ...i guess im too wierd and too mentally imbalanced to find the eternal truth or the pandoras box.....but im gettin there..i know that really trying to get there.......

And Thank God Its Friday....i love fridays....i hate saturdays....cuz i think and drink a lot on fridays and end up doing nothing on saturdays......even sundays suck....i think im liking fridays so much,ill probably start shouting out in the shower...
Gimme a "F'...
Gimme a "R'...
Gimme a "I"....(oops, 'an')...
.....ohh crap!!!

Bubye,u normal mortals!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

An Obituary!

Debanuj Chakraborti ( 15th march,1984- November 11,2006)

this is my life and im ending it one minute at a time…..”…….Tyler Durden.

What would u say to people around u when u realize that in some time u r about to die…..or would u tell them at all……he understood that….thats why he only confided in me about his death.Now that I am writing his obituary,he is no longer with us.
Debanuj Chakraborti died yesterday of cancer.He was a great guy.He never told anyone about his disease. Prolly cuz of a social backlash or because he didn’t want to be ruined mentally before his death.
I remember one very day ,he lay there in the hospital bed.He said how special his friends were and how much he missed them.But he said that with his usual smirk and his special sarcasm on life…..
I wish he get what he wanted in his afterlife and the lives after that.He let himself in the gauntlet of death not because he liked life but he would be probably enjoying death more.
Just that the cold winds of the winter didn’t affect him more than it affected us.He loved a girl once or twice …I don’t know…but it seems the cold misty wind always had the better of him.But he didn’t give up.He searched and loved and in turn loved everyone.And then he had cancer. Its called the sad twist of fate,but he called it karma…..serendipity…the coincidence of the mysticism of the being. Yes,he was stupid daft prick…but he never justified himself on that.I wish he had died of a heartbreak. Not like this. Not like this.

“…its better to burn out than to fade away…..”………Kurt D.Cobain

Jack XXX

Monday, October 09, 2006

B U R P !!!!!

1 pm.
I was gorging on my lunch.Two eggs and 3 parathas.That was it! The guy in front of me was having 2 chicken pieces, with rice and dal and 3 parathas,one egg and weird looking pickles.Oh,and a gulab jamun too.
I didn’t have money that day. I really wanted to have those chicken pieces . I heard it calling out to me.

“Please eat me”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…………….I sumhow felt I couldn’t deny the chicken the feel of my saliva!

It looked so much temptous. Ive never had a chicken call out to me.Not even in my wildest of wildest dreams.But today I kept staring at the 2 odd pieces of fleshy spicely cooked meat while the guy blabbered about internet protocols and I made a blatant attempt of listening to every word he said .My brain was conjuring up evil ways of getting hold of at least one of those fleshy chunks of meat ..if not two.

Plan 1:I cud complain that I have an ankle sprain and wud ask him to get me a glass of water.And then wud quietly swipe away one of the pieces.And I wud tell him that one of his friends had come along and had eaten it.

Plan 2: I cud just forcibly take the chicken from his plate and just run for my life,never to return to the damned place!

Plan 3:I could stick my fork into his eyes and then gobble up the chicken and wud later apologize my saying it was my alter Jack who actually did that heinous deed..( thanks Jack!)

Plan 4: I secretly hoped Zeus wud make the sky…errr…ceiling ..fall on him…and in that commotion ..i wud have my secret horny date with the masala-red juicy fleshy chunk!!!

Plan 5:………………………Backup plan…ummmm…errrrr………!!!!!

I saw him eyeing my egg curry( which was red in color ,incidentally..but really sucked)..and then he asked me …

“ Can I taste a bit of that ?”

“Sure,go ahead”

He dipped his paratha piece into the red curry and put it in. And I had been waiting for this moment for ETERNITY.

Cooly I went over to his plate …took the chicken piece which I fancied most…..and started eating it…
I didn’t look up.There was ‘that’ momentary silence. I think he was struck with disbelief. Just then I broke the ice.

“ So which internet protocol, did u say, they use????”

Sunday, October 08, 2006

stamina sticks!!!!

I really felt drunk and happy.
Ive rarely been drunk and happy.I generally get all soggy and somhow regret for what ive missed in life.But this day was different.I really felt happy.For someone.For many others too.And for me.
I zigzagilly walked.I did not even try and control myself.I shouted at random people and then laughed about it.People really thought I was drunk( which I was!)…or crazy( which I am!).
I thought about all the times I got stoned on weed .He called them the stamina sticks.God!...I miss smoking shit with that fat asshole. An asshole named Rishi. But the best asshole Ive met! …..
I looked at myself in the mirror ….somehow ..out of all the some one-million-something songs ive heard…..i started (or tried) to sing Emimen’s “ Lose Yourself”…….I generally never listen to it…but today was different.
I feel like cursing all the blibaaboo’s in my life and wish they were just pencil marks which I cud just rub then off with an eraser whenever I want…………..and I love the l’il woodlee-doo ive made..its the first of its kind……and I wanna dance like Vivek Oberoi in Omkara’s Beedi song…..but im too matured,i guess!
I’m missing my college days a bit too much.But that’s what ‘they’ call L-I-F-E…..

( who??? seriously….fucken who??)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Bangla beats....

I was in the Gazeebo( that’s how they spell it, I think).Its the ‘official’ smoking zone for the Infosys employees(or slaves). I was just grabbing a bite from the 24-hr local CCD out there….gorging on a plate of chicken sandwiches,with appy and smoking.I was alone.Three other guys were sitting in front of me.Just in front of me.They started speaking in Bengali.I don’t get to meet much people from Bengal.

T: Porikha’ta bhalo holo naa re.

S: Jaani,sala,pod mere gelo bigtime.

T:Abar sala re-test’er jonno boshte hobe.

The third guy was busy hogging on his veg pizza.And then suddenly everyone was quiet.Busy eating.Concentrating a bit too much on eating .There were some other guys in the Gazeebo.They were talking in the typical delhi-ish hindi accent and criticizing Infosys for being partial to certain employee batches et al.

“Behenchod saale maa chud gayi hands-on ki paper dekh’ke…..madarchod,samaj mein nahi aa raha hai ki behenchod perception mein kya hoga”

….I always wanted to speak hindi in that tone.It sounds cool.Really.The other Bengali guys acted as if they heard nothing.

5 mins later.

T: Ekta jinish dekhechish,bangali’der kintu hindi bujhte beshi oshubidhe hoye naa.Maane ei je ekhan’kar lokeder dekhbi….english bhanga bhanga bhabe bole aar hindi bujhtei pare naa…nijeder mallu bhasha chaara aar kichui bolbe naa.Ekdom’i hindi bujhtei pare naa…..

D: Haa onek chaap hoye thaake oder jibone.Ora ekdom kono hindi environment’e boro hoye naa..tai oder bujhteo oshubidhe hoye.Aar jaraa bojhe oder dekhbi ora kirom ekta odbhut accent’e hindi bole.

S to T:Tor kaache cigarette aache aar?

T: Aache.Kalke obdiye cholar moton cigarette aache.

S: Tai naki?komiye diyechish naki re.Amader toh berei cholche.Ki kore thaamabo bujhtei paarchi naa..

T:Arrey bara onek komiye diyechi.Hoyoto kalke ekta packet kinte hobe.Kintu aajke chole jaabe.

S:Shunechish Sunny’r baba’r khub kharap oboshta.Kidney’r oboshtha khub kharap.

T:Taa ota’r sheathe phoka’r ki shombondho.

S: Arrey bara shon naa……daactaar boleche ki ekhon phookle’e kidney’te infection baarte pare.aar shob kichu joldi shesh hoye jete pare.aar kichui naa korle maximum ek bochor aar.aar tar pore dialysis’e chole jaabe.aar dialysis mane shob shesh….kichu’i korar nei.

S: Haa shei’ta thik.Shunlaam Nipith’er maa’ro khub kharap oboshtha.

T:Shunechi,tirish bochor’er aage cigarette chere dile normal non-smoker’der moton hoye jaaye.Or por’e chaarle aashte aashte lungs affect korte shuru kore.

D:Maane amader ekhon’o cigarette enjoy korbar moton shaath bochor shomoye aache.

S:Heheh…haa re,ta bolte paarish.kintu chaara’tai chaap.

T: Kintu paarlei chaara jaaye.

A pause. I give my usual smirk. Ki fun. I remain silent and try and hum the tune of “chal chaale”. But I was too dry to do that.

D:Bara…Dada’r opor eto jhaat jole aache naa….ki bolbo.Eto aasha chilo.Sala…3 kore out hoye gelo.Eto bhalo opportunity chilo.Baal’ta team’e firte paarto.

S: Haa sala…ki je korlo naa.emnitei eto gand marani khaache.ektu bhalo score korle team’e abar chance peto.

T: Dhur sala…eto media’r pressure’e khela jaaye naki.shob focus toh ori’i opor.Maal’ta ektu nijer moton khelte de.Emnitei self confidence low.Tar opor sala….nijer pod’ta nijei mare eijob baal’er bowl’e out hoye.

S: Boka choda,sala….abar bangali’der ijjot ferot aanto.Emnitei sala shobai eto khisti maarche.

And suddenly his cell rings.He fishes out a nokia 1100.

S: Haaalo.Haa bol.Shubho bijoya re.Kemon aachish.Joining kobe………..Oh bara bhaloi toh,Wipro’r training bhaloi hoye…….aar kemon kaatlo pujo……Arrey ,Amar kotha chaar,Ami toh eikhanei gand mere pore chilam.Sala oshtomi’r din’o porchilaam.Eikhan’kar Boka choda’gulo’r aar toh kono kaaj nei…………………………………………………….Blah blah blah!

T: ke re??

S:Arrey amar mamato bhai.BP poddar’e je porto.Jadavpur theke MTech kore ekhon Wipro’te chance peyeche.Or chhoto bhai ekhon IIT’te porche.

T and D : Oh! Achha.

D:Dara ami ekta frooti niye aashi.

I finshed my mini snack and my smoking.My brain was debating on the fact whether or not I shud smoke one more. I uncrossed my legs and ask S and T.

Me: Tomra kotha’kar?

S:Amra shobai Kolkata’r.Netaji shubhash’e portaam.Ami tollygunge’e thaaki.O behala’te thaake aar O Bashdroni’te thaake.Tumi?

Me: Ami Calcutta’r. Shei aar ki…..Aashi.

I left. Deciding not to shmoke aar ekta ceegaarette.

Oh! And Sourav Ganguly still remains one of the best one-day players and India’s most successful captain ever. Yes, EVER!

"chal chaale....apne ghaar...aaye mere hum safar.............."

Encryptically frustrated!!!

$%^^#$^%^*@*!@$$$@#@……..World I This love I has genius I her blog fulfilled I been one ( F*CK) is bad to of me love everything my but dreams her I decrypted Siddharth Mukherjee too much fulfilled I played someone think people sucks and Infosys a I’m bungee there coffee and bugged lots too in (F*CK) jumping much computers daft-prick dream Gin concerned and There my soccer ( SH*T) about dreams.too Counter-Strike her vodka much health cigars damn from bit Cuba a feels mindfuck*d bit great too to much always!................. $%^^#$^%^*@*!@$$$@#@

This is only supposed to be understood by me and my blog only(if it has some kinda AI)….. This is a highly encrypted message which sums up the basic desires in my life and the state im in at this present moment……..u can try decrypting it….




thanks dude…ye so as I was sayin…..too much of client and server concepts……i love(d) engineering…and now I hate it more than my life…I should have taken up literature or economics. Engineering are for nerds .I want to be cool for once in my life. Everyone loves cool men! I’m a part of those dark nerd biaaaatches of society!

And im glad I woke up today morning because of someone……..thank you!!!!!


( F u c k o f f ….cant u see the “do not disturb” sign a s s h o l e .!. )

Monday, October 02, 2006

my TiT bit oF liFe.....!!!

I stood there.At the edge.I glanced at the whole city of mysore.A panoramic 360 degrees view.I have been closer to death.But now I was enjoying it. A gust of wind hit my face. The instructor was talking to me.I kept nodding but I couldnt hear a thing. All I heard was the wind talking to me.

“Baba,don’t jump.Baatha peye jaabe.” Someone said I think. I was on top of the 6th stair and I was about to jump and prove my legs were strong enough at this age. “naa ami laafaabo” .No one heard me,I guess. I jumped. By the time I had submitted myself to a certain force called gravity,everyone had returned to work.In the kitchen,cutting vegetables or spicing up the extra spiced up food.In the drawing room, people going over the finance and accounts for the umpteenth time.I fell on the groud with a thud which only I heard. My right leg ached but I tried acting normal.I looked around to see if anyone had actually watched my jump.Everyone was too busy. From the corner of my eyes,I saw Dadu smiling at me with his pan stained if applauding my brave effort.I gave a sheepish smile and acknowledged it.

“You need to keep the rope between your legs when you jump.”I fakingly nodded.I suddenly missed my Dadu.He was no more.I really missed him.I looked to my left.I saw the Mysore palace and the on going preparations for the big night of dussera.Its big here.But Calcutta is bigger. A lot!

Kane said “ Lets have beer this ashtami..ill get it”… Rahul and me and a bunch of other guys readily agreed. We met up at Suddho’s place.and then 8 of us drunk beer like we never had a tomorrow! It was the first time I was drinking during pujos.But it was fun. Hashi hated alcohol then,now he’s a big drunkard . Ive drunk last year too.And this year too. This is the first time im outside Calcutta spending pujo.I think.It sucks,trust me.People say “dude u aint missing it,cuz pujo aint good this year.Its become more of a money business and competition. The festive essence is slowly dying out.” But but but…….. I refuse…to agree….Its pujos, goddamnit…It’s the darn atmosphere….the feeling of being with friends….the feeling of forgetting tension….the feeling of being with people and meeting new ones.
The dhaak beats.Majestic.
The pujo insensce-tic smell.
The lightings.
……and those mega sized pandals which would put a Taj mahal to shame.

Many of my friends are suddenly back in Calcutta this year spending pujo.I wanted to come.Something at the back of my pea-sized brain said “ go go go ..u daft prick”……But I always tend to do the wrong stuffs at the right time.And this time was no exception.

“Don’t hold the railings of the platform when u let go”.I nodded again as if listening hard.I looked down.People below suddenly looked like ants.And I felt like the selfish giant.Someone even thumbsup-ed me.I looked at the horizon.The pulse shot up.The heartbeat increased as if I were in love.The love of thrill and the fear of death.

I suddenly thought about many people. All those who have been and still are a part of my life.People whom I have betrayed .People whom I had hurt.I wanted to apologize.And thank to those who have been with me. Life was suddenly so strange.Stranger than the Aura Boreolis or the Bermuda triangle.I guess that’s why we are so complicated. I realized how bad He messed it up.

“Be calm.Breathe in deep and breathe out.Spread out ur arms.Enjoy ur jump.”….I spread my hands out turned back and opened my watch and told him “ here hold this”. I looked down into the 150 fucken feet abyss of hollowness ,spread my arms and and and ……I jumped.

The world stood still.
The flight of birds.
Moments of absolute silence.
A dream reality!


A perfect union with God!!!!

“…….there is no pain you are receiving. A distant ship floats on the horizon……Your lips move but I cant hear what u say………………………..Now I’ve got that feeling once again ,I cannot explain……….I have become ……comfortably numb…….”……Pink Floyd……..

press Control+B and type in bold..being bold rocks..bold and the the others who cant read this or do not like the bold font.......i hope u do see this....
--------------------------------------------------------------------> .!.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Time and me........................................

Its been almost 2 weeks since I left kolkata and joined Infosys in mysore.The experience has been good.But ive suffered.kinda from certain thoughts which I require to pen down…………

I flunked my first 2 exams in my company.One was a psychometric exam,which tested if I was a psychopath or not.The exam proved I was.
The second was an English exam,I still dunno why I flunked.I guessed I was loser.:)

I want to dance with a girl.Romantic dance.Careless whispers.

I have had food poisoning and I felt giddy!

I want to read “To kill a mocking bird” and “On the road”…

I listen to songs every night and then I forget to charge my cell phone.

Ive stopped missed calling too much.But I do still give missed calls.Even to my parents.

I hate being ordered around.But I have to get used to it.

I apologize to someone for being a jerk.

I love my new room.

I feel lively and energetic.And a bit too confident.I guess its good.

I realized that the world is too huge to get famous.I still wonder how Bill Gates did it.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Our Indian 'Role Models'

well,its sunday morning and i dont genrally post on sunday mornings.Came across a article in the Telegraph newspaper which i want to copy-paste.Its a bit sarcastic, but very true.Its time we set examples for ourselves instead of looking up at our 'role models'...

Let’s break free
It’s not their fault. We put them there. But we don’t need no role models. We don’t need no thought control. On the eve of our 59th Independence Day, Metro takes a pledge to walk past yesterday’s wall of fame.

Long years ago, at the stroke of a midnight hour, Jawaharlal Nehru had promised that India would awake to life and freedom. The time has come again to redeem our pledge, to step out from the old to the new.

This Independence Day, we want freedom from our current role models. For too long have they been controlling our destinies. Our tryst with them is over. The nation is bored.
Not everyone needs to be overthrown. Some are true guiding lights for the nation, even if there are too many strobe lights. But how everyone will just go on and on about them. Some others need to go because they are not supposed to be there. The rest are just plain tiring.
Here’s why. (And we are only talking about the living.)

N.R. Narayana Murthy,Sir Infosys
He put India on the global IT map, generated thousands of jobs, made a huge number of millionaires out of his employees. He embodies corporate social responsibility.
But does that mean we have to suffer the purple prose that he inspires? This is a homage paid to him on the Net. Narayana Murthy is “not just Karnataka’s jewel, but India’s pride”, it says. “He is known not just for building the biggest IT empire in India, but also for his simplicity... Almost every important dignitary visits Infosys campus. The beauty about his family is that they believe in sharing their wealth with the needy.” It’s the tone we object to.
If there is no one to challenge him in achievement, stature and respectability soon, middle-class parents will run out of adjectives — and dreams. (Ok, there’s Amartya Sen, too; we are coming to him, but he lives abroad mainly.) Murthy could also help us by saying something exciting, if only once a year.

Anil Ambani,Reliance (Jr)
For some reason, he was elected the MTV youth icon in 2003. He features in other surveys of role models of the Indian youth, too. Though only what elder brother Mukesh has said has made sense of late, like calls and SMS on Reliance phone will cost 19 p per minute and 25 p respectively. It was Mukesh, again, who was seen with chief minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee.
There can be only two reasons behind Anil being a youth icon — he takes part in the Mumbai marathon every year wearing a headband and is the best buddy of the man next on our hit list.

Amitabh Bachchan,superstar
If we had ever known that the angry young man would turn into such a humble old man, we would have told him the secret of eternal youth.
Amitabh Bachchan should stop being modest. He is the greatest. He knows so. So instead of repeating
a) “What I am today is because of your love and respect”;
b) “Beggars cannot be choosers... So I take what (role) comes my way and do my best”;
c) “I am an ordinary person”,
he should just look as haughty as he should — and that he sure can — and read Mohammad Ali’s biography.

Sachin Tendulkar,cricketer
Highlights of Sachin’s career, quoting from memory — highest number of Test centuries (35); fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test history; most runs (14,146) in ODIs; most centuries (39) in ODIs
And: most centuries (39) in ODIs; most runs (14,146) in ODIs; fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test history; highest number of Test centuries (35).
See, we know it backwards. He is also the cricketer who made the most money out of ads. He has already inspired an adequate number of generations. He did not want to pay the custom’s duty on a foreign car gifted to him. He should retire.
As a farewell gesture, we will not get into the debate of whether he plays for the country — or for himself. And one more time someone begins his profile with “Born in Mumbai into a middle-class Brahmin family…”, marks will be deducted.

Shah Rukh Khan,hero
He is 40. What has he really contributed to the nation except Fauji and Swades, Karan Johar and a stutter that starts with a K?

Aishwarya Rai, beauty
Her stints as beauty queen, as Nandini, as Binodini — and as the international face of Bollywood — are over.

Manmohan Singh, PM
The 14th Prime Minister of India is considered to be the man who restructured the Indian economy in the 90s. He is gentle, unassuming, polite and highly respected. He is the most educated PM in Indian history. So when he became PM, the middle classes heaved a sigh of relief. But as Prime Minister, he has never allowed his voice to be heard. Never over the Congress president’s Italian-accented Hindi.
Recommended reading:
Assert Yourself: Simple Steps to Getting What You Want by Gael Lindenfield (to master the art of meeting Sonia Gandhi)
Build Your Confidence Day by Day by Gael Lindenfield (to attend a joint news conference with Sonia Gandhi)
Self Esteem: Simple Steps to Develop Self-reliance and Perseverance by Gael Lindenfield (to deal with Congress ministers who bypass him and meet Sonia Gandhi)
Emotional Confidence: Simple Steps to Managing Your Feelings by Gael Lindenfield (to deal with Natwar Singh)
Managing Anger: Simple Steps to Dealing with Frustration and Threat by Gael Lindenfield (to deal with Prakash Karat)
A Woman in Your Own Right by Anne Dickson (to understand Sonia Gandhi).

A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, President
We the people have had enough of his life, poetry and views. In the short poem ‘Rakhi Day is Righteous Day’, he says: “This full moon day our hearts are in brim/ Feeling of faith and serenity in mind/ We light the lamps and our hearts glow/ Radiance of happiness and peace are in flow/ Harmonious homes are like streams of joy... Righteous homes alone make a beautiful State….” He has said: “I will not be presumptuous enough to say that my life can be a role model for anybody; but it could perhaps help some poor children living in an obscure place in an underprivileged social setting liberate themselves from the bondage of their illusory backwardness and hopelessness...”
But is any poor child listening?

Medha Patkar, protest leader
Since the Eighties, she has spearheaded the Narmada Bachao Andolan. Her fasts don’t work any more; we need new forms of resistance — and we are not talking about celeb ‘guest appearances’ here.

Amartya Sen,Mr Nobel
We need to listen to everything that he has to say about everything. But there should be a ban on more Bengalis naming their children after him.

Footnote: Sourav Ganguly stays on because of the fear of a Bong backlash post-‘comeback’, and Sania Mirza because she is too young — and the only one to sport a nose ring.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Am Stuck!

I have made the one of the biggest mistakes of my life.I dunno why i
did it.But i guess it needed to be done.To get my life straight.For
my conscience.

5 friends.Oly pub.Holy pub.4 pegs of whisky and rounds of beer.Kinda
high.Pretty drunk.cigarette sticks.Navy Cut.Ashes and the soda.
Some date in August,2005,Kolkata,WB.

We all had a nice time.Discussing what had happened durin our college
days and what we missed out on.But we never regretted.Even if we
did,we said it with a smile.I did regret.But not much.After all,I had
a group of friends,cheap alcohol,quality weed,subjects to
study,aweful teachers,occasional weekend outings,loads of fun
,college politics,innumerable night-outs and a beautiful campus.I had
the best college life I cud ask for.But was i HAPPY.or SAD!

The only supernatural experience i ever had was with a black magician
who claimed he could do anything he wanted.i WAS were my
other 2 friends.It seemed normal.But the atmosphere was so eerie.As
if a creepy crawler was climbing along our spinal cord and tryin to
make its way to the brain and turn us into immortal zombies.And then
the salt.The first night we were drunk.Drunk as a sponge or maybe as
a fish.We didnt know what.The second night was EVENTFUL.A whiff of
cold air and the ambience.But then realized it was our mind ..playin
games.We liked it.It was so much fun i visited the place for a second
time.A place of seclusion.Shhhh.....
Some date in november,2003,Aaritar,Sikkim.

Today i got drunk.Not drunk the usual way.I tried getting high but

Sumone tried to cheer me up yesterday.But somehow i was arrogant.I
thought about it the whole night.Felt good this morning.Thank
you.Thank you,Though i dunno how to.:)

Friday, August 11, 2006

.!. (O_O) .!.

Have u ever seen a ghost?.I have not.But y do we actually believe in
them.I thought ghosts existed in ghost stories.and now we have ghosts
in Tv soaps,in movies and even in reality shows.And i thought ghosts
actually shunned the entire human clan,and were only nocturnal
spirits,who were the most bored ,f*ckd up miserable people, only
taking the form of wierd shapes n sizes when they wanna scare
people.And they dont even get paid for that.People should start
employing ghosts.corporate ghost world.SpiritRobotics Inc.
And have ghost societies.BoneYArd Bros.

This is one useless blog,which ive written out of abosulte
boredom.Rite now,im the only one in my family who's not wet.I think
its the rain.It has created a cacophony of hackin coughs and
asthamatic sneezes in my house.And im the only one who seem to be
unpeturbed by that.And the 'jamini ray' picture above me is so much
meaningful suddenly.And my game-parlour-prized stuffed puppy is even
looking at me today.I watched Manoj Night Shymalan's "LAdy in the
Water" today.typical manoj movie.and now im talkin as if he was my
childhood friend.d'uhhhh!!!!

I thought everyone in this world had been born for a purpose.I still
dunno what it is.PRobably i will.Someday.Sometime.

But didnt someone once say "Surely life is supposed to have more
meaning than this?"
I guess this is not the right time to answer that!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

A few years back....

Probably the faintest memory ive ever got is one where i see my great
grandmother have heart attack,while the elders in my family are
trying to comfort her. Mom said i was 4-5 months old then.And people
said its rare to remember things at such a young age.But i did.And i
even remember my great granny stare at my face admist all the chaos.i
distinctly remember her grey eyes staring at mine,as if saying,"we
are 2 different entities living on this about to end
mine...and you are about to start yours."

I started going to the nursery at 3.The teachers complained i couldnt
stay without my brother.I couldnt comprehend whether it was a bad or
a good thing.And i still dont.

Age 4.My brother had left nursery and had joined grade 1.By now i was
used to staying without my brother.One fine morning,when the birds
still chirped and leaves were green,i remember a certain Mrs Gupta(i
think or name changed due to memory lapse),vented her frustration on
a fellow student of mine.i looked in horror.A 4-yr old kid getting
brutally handled by a middle aged bitch cuz he couldnt answer what
3+3 was.i was too shaken to speak a word in the entire day.My parents
got worried.But whenever i wanted to speak,i mumbled.The next day
onwards,i had a stammer in my speech.

By the time i stepped into my 5th year,i had.....earned a reputation
of a quiet and angry kid,pissed on other's books,learnt to open up
things and then couldnt fix them,refused to recognize my aunt in
front of the principal,loved to play with round shaped objects and
learnt diplomacy faster than any other kid.I had 2 best friends in my
last year in the montessari.A guy named abhijeet and another Mr
Whose-name-i-cant-remember, who lived just opposite.There was another
marwari girl with round shaped specs,but i never used to hang around
with her much.

I finally started schooling at Don Bosco's at 6.Its a pretty big
school.I cried the on the first day itself.Not cuz i was leavin my
parents but because i thought i had brought the wrong books.Which i

It was my first annual sports day at school.I was taking part in this
'eat the chocolate and run' race.I loved chocolates then.I still do
now.I was given a free 5 star chocolate,which i was supposed to eat
and run.whoever ate it first,ran and reached the finishing line would
win.Arjun banerjee or Ryan Chang came first...i dnt remember
who.Debanuj Chakraborti was last.cuz i relished the chocolate and ate
it slowly.I was the laughin stock of the entire crowd there.But what
the f*ck i didnt care,who anyway cares about a gold plated medal at
age 7.I was clever enough to enjoy the choco bar.

Years rolled on.Time flew.Sometimes didnt.Pretty uneventful too.I got
my first He-man toy on my 7th birthday.I was awarded the 'good
conduct' certificate in my 1st and 2nd grades.I could run very fast.I
had friends with whom im still friends with.I was very very bad in
bengali.Not so good in english.and worse in hindi.Probably was good
in maths.But it never did help, cuz i remained a dork nevertheless.

People everywhere brag and whimper about the woes of their early
years.Im glad i didnt have any.I loved my childhood.

Some days back I heard 2 childhood friends talk about their good
times and their gang.I just heard on.Felt good.After all im just a stupid old f*ck who bore certain people with stupid conversations."shei,aar ki...." :)

Sunday, August 06, 2006

the last night!

I was watchin "Love actually" on Star movies.It was 2:45 am.The
previous day i drank quite a lot,enough to get me a hangover the next i slept that day as well.and now i was awake.I slept all
morning ,all afternoon.I felt like drinking more and go to sleep.but
Lady sleep was toying with me today.i felt like a naked gigolo.But
couldnt help it (he he).just when Hugh grant was hittin on his
secretary and another english actor was about to hump his girl,the
screen got .....'bizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'.....the fan stopped
rotating.A second of silence.oh F*ck!power cut! oh F*ck bloody
mosquitoes!i hope these mini vampires die of malaria!everyone in my
house was sound asleep,but me.Sheesh,why god why...why me,why
now!!!... gawd i so fuckin hate this time.i lighted up a cigarette
and went to the bathroom to smoke it.I started thinking.

Many days back.
I had recently got a job.So we were at this bar,drinking to my
glory.we were talking about how college life changed us.we were 6 of
us.Me,rishi,shibu,sap,angshuman and tapashree.just when a decent
amount of alcohol had been consumed,we started talkin about
relationships,my 'supposedly' innumerable flings with was
then tapashree told angshuman y didnt he get aritri(the love of his
life) here...and y dsnt he dsnt spend much time with her.We were
high,i guess pretty high to explain what had happened in the next
hour.anghuman lowered his face and started cryin like a
baby.taps(tapashree) felt guilty and started cryin too.i saw rishi
give a smirk and got himself another peg.the other were tryin to
pacify both.i looked around.i went to rishi...i told him how much ill
miss my friends,and i started cryin too.i cried for the first time in
4 years.and it felt good.real the time we left the
place.everyone had cried in litres,for reasons we still dont know
why.I felt it was the best maal party ever.But it made me realize how
much people still cared for me.I went home happy. Pause.

I dropped the ash.took a puff.smiled and started thinking again.

Some days back.
MY project seminar really went bad.I so wanted to hang the external
examiner and cut off his genitals.but i couldnt.i told
rishi,"dude,make me a joint"...i saw him gigglin for no reason.By the
end of that night,i barely could stand up.I realized how wasted i
was.Within an instant i knew my life sucked.Felt really guilty that
day.I called up Mr X and Ms Y.and both told me to 'F*ck off' in a
polite way cuz it was almost 1:30am.i felt alone.I still had so many
things to do.Go to disneyland.bungee famous.fall in love
and be successful.Earn in like charlie chaplin.and here
i was killing myself.The world finally turned into me and i slept
after that.Pause.

I was smoking the butt now.i was wonderin whether to throw the fag or
keep smoking.and i started thinkin.

Yesterday or the day before that.
Life is suckin drunk.quite a lot.but had a gala time at my
frnds place.saw one of my friends drunk for the first time.met
another after 6 years.had dinner after that.talked about the skool
stories for the umpteenth time.and laughed a lot.and then came back
home.and did nothing.ohh!.Pause!

yaaaaaaaaaay.Lights are on.finally.whew.n im done with my
smoking.time to sleep i guess.
i turned off the light.shut down the Tv which turned itself on
suddenly....dunno y....just lied down.and felt sleepy!

think.I woke and lookd at the cell phone.

1 Missed Call!

i smiled.'uffff,Ki Bitch!'

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

all in a day's work!

I woke up.It was morning.i searchd for a clock cdnt find one.I
realized the alarm had gone off.Sum1 said "tutai,im leavin.."..i
mumbled," please go to hell......".....i felt like sleepin more.I realized i
havent celebrated my b'day for 14 years.I heard the music of a snake
charmer outside.I blinked once,twice.
It was 10:30 am.

Why is it that whatever i do has a tragic end? Why can things ever
have an optimistic result for me? I feel like falling into endless
abyss even whn im not high! I feel like jason with a chainsaw.I feel like a teenager trapped in the body of a 30 yr old.

The world is round and i still dont believe it...

cute little puppies suddenly fights for meat!

Smoke and alcohol and sex are passe...blood turns me on!

Even mankind's greatest creation can be boring....

Why is our heart not intelligent......

Explain these................................???!!! cuz i couldn't!

Its really been almost a month since i posted last.didnt really feel
the urge to do so.Sumtimes just when i felt i wanted to blog,i
started to play some shit computer game.So, one fine evening our
family decides to go a hot-shot chinese place called mainland
china.the party??....cuz my uncles were in town and my cousin brother
was leavin his job to pursue a Phd. at uncle Sam's....ohh n by the
way ,he is the most sane among the lot.We had
noodles,rice,seafood,chicken,lamb...which i didnt knw was a chinese
cuisine..... i saw my dad and uncles blabber about CAB elections
after drinkin just 2 pegs...the women started discussing sarees and i
was my usual self....with a protesting 'u-gave-me-no-alcohol' face
...and sipping on sum mocktail which tasted like mirinda.About a
couple of kilometers away Indian Ocean was playin KAndisa in a five
star pub.I knew that.My friends were there too.I cudnt excuse myself
out of the party to go and hear their gig.So i hummed to myself...

"...............jaage naaaa...ohohohooooooo...................."

........ohhh and you should have seen my face....!!!!!

It was great to talk to her...........................!!!!strange but

Friday, June 09, 2006

The Service called 'MEN'!

God made us from a single grain of dust...we are the ones responsible for waging wars for centuries...over the eons, we have symbollized the brute force...the spirit of unculturism .... we work in the unconditions were normal living beings cant exist...we have figured how atoms exist or how the universes revolve...we have turned phones into music players and cameras....we know how a ball can be hit in 9754 ways using just a foot....thats cuz we form the superior of all races that has ever existed on this planet....we will continue ruling this world and WE ARE CALLED MEN!!!!......

'Adam was strolling happily through the Garden of Eden...humming happy b'day to himself.....and suddenly he felt a quake....which grew in intensity....he felt a searing pain in his spine...saw the whole world revolving....and then a light blinded him with a powerful thunder...'KRRRRRAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM'... what he saw and considered to be the most beautiful thing was in front of him...n then he heard a sound from the above 'thou shall be called 'WOMAN'.....

im not a chauvinist....and i certainly dont think that women in the world do threaten the male clan!...but then who are they....

'behind every successful,there's a woman'-some old russian proverb..... sometimes i do wonder,how true this statement is....but its true,so true....want examples??....we all knw the story of the newton n the apple....n how he changed sceince by his gravity theory...but little do we knwo that he was actually inspired by a medivial sweet lass to come to that park, and actually when she realized that she was being followed..she turned and slapped newton,who later,out of grief, sat on the bench beside the apple tree...the rest is history.....

SO,how important are women in our lives...why do we,men, go after them...and why have we failed to understand their presnce on this earth..inspite of repeated debacles caused by women....women have the greatest influence in the lives of men....when we see a women pass by on a raod...all the males look up to see how she looks or wht her measurements mite be...sum even honk their horns in the car...and try to show off...and then when we realize that she is actually committed to sum other 'stupid' bloke..we say 'aww crap'...and get on with our lives...but i think..why this influence...wht is the magical charm that women have over us which even merlin failed to have over it the charm of a woman exploting her sensuality....or is the way she walks....but y us...y not the dogs,cats or the birds....they never get turnd on by women....why why the men.... and we,on the other hand, are always at the service of the women.....always ready to serve them,whther they work,sleep,feel alone or eat.....we are evrywhere to serve women,to make their life better....and we still dnt get to understand them even tho they have been our oldest clients....and then when women actually go about sayin 'where are all the men'...are we not visible???....hell,we r everywhere.....we are a bunch of sausages ready to serve u..anytime,anyplace...or i think we shud have ad's 'u dont have to search for us,WE'll find u'.....they mite just get the idea then...why dont they understand that we ,men,have been brought onto this world to work for women...and they keep running away...keep eluding us.....and we have inspired sooo much...and vice versa..its a request from all the male community for the service we r providing to women 'let us serve u better for our own needs and its FREE'....

We are so proud to have u walkin on god's best creation......

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Inevitable!!!!

" u think u can tell...heaven from hell??...."
- Pink Floyd

well,its about time i wrote about the thing that matters in life the most....the is
what that keeps us alive...we live for it...and we certainly stop living for this ultimate goal of our y is it that peopole fear death so much....its a process which we,humans,try to
avoid....which porbbly gives a kinda evil meaning to it....but y?..i believe its as sacred as our holy as our marriage n as important as our existance itself......are we all concerned about our afterlife..or is it that we are concerned about our future generations that we actually forget about the only inevitable process in our life....well,i believe that we humans are nothin more than a frikkin huge n complex chemical reaction...which stops at the time of our death...this is a meaningless discussion..but its not what u guys think...this is what i think...i guess i had to pen it down now the question is..who's God...??..where's heaven or ..Hell??..where r these places....or is God just a manifestation of what we see as a result of an illusion...or when we are 'high'...due to intake of potentially 'hazardous' substances which might as well alter the nature of the chemical reaction inside us...n thus allowing us to
get a 'high'...thereby,being in 'heaven'.... n therefore believing in The Almighty.....sometimes i do
think is this the platform where religions were this what the Pagans believed to be as this this what people die get re-united with God..when he actaully supposedly doesnt exist..... I can talk about this for hours...n you can
contradict me....n i can talk back again....but its not what we talk about...its all about the
Faith...Faith in one's self...Faith in what we believe....not what we presume....

I have always valued Friendship to the utmost importance...i have compromised a lot...probably im even ready to jeopardize my own family at the face of friendship..but some things need a repairing.....i have often been tainted in the name of friendship...i dunno why...ive tired, n tried..but sumhow with certain people it doesnt really work....i nevr wanted
to write this,neither do i know why im writing this....but i guess it needed to be written...for my
sake...if not the sake of others...cuz im tired of networkin which doesnt work out....its time i get up n show the finger.....

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Jack of cards and the Unseen Lady....

There are 2 things i dont know........

There's this card game called 29....i really
hated this game...i saw my friends play it
24X7.. but i really sucked...then addiction took
me over...i observed....n saw...n was like this unspoken language
that cud be only comprehended by the masters of
the card game....well,the game went like
this....there was this JACK which had 3
points...the card no 9,2 points...while the ace
n 10 had a solo point each....with the ace hvin
the upper this is a team game...u
call the points....n if u fail to acheive those
points in the course of the game...ur team
loses..or else u guys win...n there r lotsa
other rules comin back,i really HATED
this game in the beginning...but sumtime back i
heard a chinese proverb saying' if u cant beat
then,join them'....n thts exactly wht happend to
me....before i even came to know of it,i started
playin the game....played it over vodka...over
rum...over a couple of joints...over fags....n
definitely over my roommate's coffee....played
the game for weeks....n still i
sucked...sumtimes i even gave up the thought of
playing it...but then i nevr really let it go... Then i looked at the other side..n
realized,well,this is who i am...the game's
teachin me a lot....i understood human
psychologies....understood who cheated to win,n
who did not..the more observant ones..the
obstinate ones...and definitely the one who
thought himself to be the Jack of all trades.... Jack is a person whom we need in
life...he's the person whom people depend on...
he's not the master but behaves like
to control evrything around him....they made a
nursery rhyme on him....they 'synonymed' his
name to a thing done by males...they made him a
psychopath killer....they named their children
after him....they put him on a flag n they loved
him when he sang...he was true to all socities
never really unfazed by what he did...he's
immortal n evergreen....he's what ive always
wanted to be....he's my alter
friend,philosopher and guide...but then...its
just tht 3 points which make him up......

There's this girl i hvnt met....she's as dark minded as i am....but then she's wht life is...she's what we all are...we do talk often a lot...a real fun girl to talk too...talks about things i normally wouldnt expect from a girl...after about a year,i have failed in my attempts to understand her....

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

360 degrees.....

"A circle is the set of points in a plane that are equidistant from a given point . The distance from the center is called the radius, and the point is called the center. Twice the radius is known as the diameter . The angle a circle subtends from its center is a full angle, equal to 360 or 2 pi-radians."

What is it to be a circle?........A moving dot traversing exactly 360 degrees..Having the exact same distance from the the centre point .....Why do we really consider it to be that important....Just because the whole universe is basically based on this 'very important' shape.Why not the square or a cube or as a matter of fact...the line.....???? and why is it that we did name the most important shape in sceintific history as the circle....if we look at it...a ball looks like a circle,yet is called a ball...the zero is a circle with nothing in it...n is yet called a zero..even though a circle too has nothin it it...except empty space and whiteness.A circle has the maximum possible area for a given perimeter, and the minimum possible perimeter for a given area....If the circle is instead cut into wedges, as the number of wedges increases to infinity, a rectangle results....So why this distinction...if we flip through our history books and consider the ancient history,we see that the circle was probably invented by the stone age people who tried to reason with life and ultimately failed in their attempt....therefore probably 'no work' had made them create such a crude but wonderful design which was to change the face of uhman existance in the next few million years.For them,the enjoyment in drawing a circle or rubbing 2 stones to create the eternal inferno was probably much more than a 5yr old taking a picture through a digicam today.So,coming back to our circle....does it really symbollize people who have no work...lookin at it..scientifically we would define work as the product of one unit of force and one unit of displacement....but a circle does show no displacement as our mysterious 'moving dot' comes back to the same place.....hence zero work....So whats the first thing that we picturise in our minds when we r asked to think of a circle........just a round shaped figure on a whitesheet of paper????......have we ever thought about this shape ...when we sleep, or when we dream or lets say when we are high???......have we ever thought that it is through these 360 degress that life actually transcends to an entirly different is through this path of a moving dot that we inevitably realize who we actually are....have we ever noticed that when we are asked to think of something, a circle is the first thing that comes to our mind....or is it because we dont actually think of the circle and it is the mind that makes us think of the circle........

This is my first ever blog post.Ive been seriously thinkin of making one for some time now and now that its done,i guess i do have to put on my thinkin first blog site was the 360 degs page in yahoo n hence the name...or it just might be that ive finally found out what the circle in my life really means...infinte force and zero displacement.....!!!!!!!!

There's a passage I memorized

Ezekiel 25:17. "The pathof the righteous man is beset onall sides by the inequities of theselfish and the tyranny of evilmen. Blessed is he who, in thename of charity and good will,shepherds the weak through thevalley of darkness, for he is trulyhis brother's keeper and the finderof lost children. And I willstrike down upon thee with greatvengeance and furious anger thosewho attempt to poison and destroymy brothers. And you will know myname is the Lord when I lay myvengeance upon you."