Wednesday, May 30, 2007

" You have Noodles and coke with chocolate cookies!!!HAHAHA!! You are a Funny Little Man!!", he told me.


Tuesday, May 29, 2007


There are two things I hate.

Ok,there's one thing I hate during travelling.Kids.Probably even early teenage po(n)d-pakka kids.Kids who try to look intellectual but end up ruining my entire journey.And definitely those who call me 'uncle'.They are irritating as mices and as disturbing as alien cosmos soundwaves.Saturday was just another example.I was going to Bombay to attend Sandy's pot and booze party.I was mindfcuked cuz I was travelling from Pune to Bombay with 1 buck.Yes,one-fucking-rupee.Dont bother asking me how I managed to get into a Volvo and get my ass to Bombay.I was mindfucked nevertheless.And then there's this Bengali kid with whom I had this Tug-of-the-curtain war for the entire fucking 3 hours.Even his Dad gave me stares as if I was being really pestering.Whats wrong with Bengali families anyway,including mine.They seem all normal in Calcutta.But as soon as they go on a trip with their waterbottles,moneky-caps,sorts-of-medicines and their entire shongshaar,they lose it and turn into some wierd pain-in-the-ass people.Nevermind.So,these kids,ya!Even the college trips.Somehow our train compartment was always filled with these kids,who shout and call you uncle.Yes,Rishi might look like one,but me???!!!!Even if we travelled without tickets and spent the entire journey sleeping near the train door,these kids never gave up.Or the bloody bus.Any bus.Kids.Kids.Kids.Miserable pesty creatures.Tsk-tsk.Fuck them.*I'll be a real bad dad!*

And Marriages.Shit.Three of my friends are getting married by this year end.Next year there'll be about 10 more.The year after that and then the entire lot.Holy mother-of-shit.Ok,Im just 23.Twenty-fucking-three.I'm just too scared at the thought of people(mainly guys) around me getting married this early.Some say its normal.But how is it even close to normal???? Think marriage,then the thought of sharing your lovely cozy bed with someone....and then kids,then all the un-bachelor fun,less pot,less booze..more milk,more interior decorating,nursery,garden on the lawn......WTF!Why cant people just live together and stay happy.Bu-tttttt noohoooooo ,they gotta get married.hmpfh.I dont think marriages are made in heaven or neither that its a license to unlimited sex.But there's an age for everything.I still think I'm 18,probably i even look so.Maybe I should start acting my age.But marriages are too wierd.And more so,when your own mom starts discussing about yours (Du-to proposal peyechi,heehee).Yes,I know I'll create a huge furore in my family when my time comes.
It'll be the most aweome party ever........*snap out *.........!!!!
Whateva.I really dunno whether to congratulate or stare wierdly everytime i hear someone of my generation getting married.Anyway,maybe I dont act my age and fail to realize that people are actually growing up.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Music and lyrics :)

-----------------------> This Video <------------------------------

I had lost this video sometime back.Me and rishi had planned to perform it in our Fest auditions.Of course,we never got through with it.But here it is.

Its raunchy,a bit obscene but immensely sweet.

Watch it if you want,but scan your surroundings before u see it.
Rishi,Hell ya!
Enjoy :)

Friday, May 18, 2007

Ideas and thoughts but no answers!

Its just one of those unusual Saturdays when you dont wanna spend the night drinking beer and swaying to music.This week.Chowki-Dani *check*.Its not just another barren land transformed into a cultural commercial festive abode like Delhi Haat or Swabhoomi.This is defintely DE place if you wanna experience the ethnicity of a Rajasthani hamlet.Body-massage by the fat-mouch'ed pehelwaans.A manual giant wheel.A puppet show.Teer-Dhonuk.Darts.Camels,horses and carts.A Big dong-a-ling with a giant hammer.Mehendi shops.Jotishees and palmists.Pottery art,where you can make your own stuff*I tried making a distorted chillum*.Refreshing Ganne-juice.Rajasthani folklore* I tried dancing*.Crimson doll shops. And of course the ethnic cuisine.
I saw the colours,the tunes,the people,the food.A total cultural harmony.Felt good,for a change.


I mean why does it always have to happen with me??
*Now bear with me,you've probably heard me saying this a zillion times,but for time's sake,again....*
Why was I chosen to fall for cute girls and not for hot ones?
I'm falling for every other cute,short,plump,straight-hairdo'd girl on the
Whenever I see one of those kinds *ahem!* Dil mein..Ektu thump-thump kore.
Ohh yes,I'm watching the DeathNote anime series now.I like it too.Maybe its cuz I'm done with the entire Prison Break series,Friends,Joey,Seinfeld.And I hate Lost.And I hafta gotta catch up with Heroes too.


I saw "Flags of our Fathers".Another WW-II movie.But Eastwood,not Bruckheimer or Spielberg.Kintu ektu touched holam,cuz of the way it was shown.We never do remember the soldiers after the war.The brutality.The mental pain.They go through.This might not concern many.But I did know someone who died after the Kargil war.And also the fact that I wanted to join the army after my schooling.We salute them.Cheer them up.Vote on whether to go on war.Forget them.Abuse the defense policy of our country.Maybe its time we thought about them,their families.....after the shameless ordeal they go through.


Ok,now for the second thought.I think I'm getting better at the psychic thing.I mean reading other's thoughts.My skills of deduction have improved.Rishi'ke koto baar murgi korechi!!..I'm turning into being the best.Maybe I should open a Private Investigation Firm.

*Thinking really hard and staring into the space just above the computer screen but...*

Yes,this would ultimately question me about what-the-fuck am I doing in a Company full of nerds and biaaatches and corporate whores and blah-blah-blah!

ohh...aye! The pirate song for ye ignorant creatures!

"Fifteen men on the dead man's chest--
...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest--
...Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!"

Excitement again!!! *Wriggling my fingers and eyes steamily glowing*


And I'm suddenly missing Jadavpur and Park Street a lauhoooot!!!

Ok,We can all get funnily lost now!


ohh PS: *Orkut presents *Today's fortune:

"Good news will be brought to you by mail."

Yaay-yaay!!..It did!!!


This can defintely be a WTF moment.
There are times when you are standing with your seniors from office during a coffee-break or something.Everyone's in the light mood,talking about life,weekends,parties,wives exceetra-exceetra.Then a round of joke-session begins.It goes like this.Everyone says a joke untill your turn comes.Yes,I'm talking about that moment.And you realize out of the millions of jokes you've heard in your 23 years,you forget every single one of them.In fact,you forget the entire English language in one instant.All you can remember is ..."Fuck!"
So here's my backup.
Two drunkards were driving a car one late-night searching for a new bar.
One of them suddenly parks the car messily on the road and asks the other guy.
"Did you see the bat??"
"How can you ever miss that.It was huge.Flew right past my nose.Damn!"
"Do you want me to drive?"
"No,I think it got scared and flew away,I'm cool"
So they start driving again.They find a bar,kinda shabbily lit up.It was kinda empty,but whateva.
They go in and order a pint each.Drink it up and order a shot each and drink that up too.And they order two mroe shots.The bartender realizes that both are shit drunk and refuses them.Humiliated,one of them asksl the bartender.
"hey dooooode...Temme if you wanted to fuck real badly on an all-men land,what would you prefer...a beer bottle or a tree trunk?"
The bartender replied "Ai gotta waaife 'n ma tree keeds,eef ya saay dat 'gain,ma gonna kick yer arse"
Both the drunks start waving their middle fingers at him.The bartender gets pissed off and takes a shotgun and shoots one in the neck.
The shot-guy almost dead,lying on the floor mumbles something while coughing and spurting out blood.His drunkard friend stares at him for a minute and says to the bartender.
"Thats one hell of a shot"

'Hyuk-hyuk.'Ok,this is the part where your seniors are supposed to laugh.Everyone.But they wont.
They'll just never invite you to a break again.And they'll give you a raise whenever you want it!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Hollywood Hustle!!!

I got this from an internet link.Its one of those stupid quizzes you'd do if you are out of work in your office.

Directions: Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. ,Copy this list, go to your own account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.
If you have seen more than 100 of them,then you have no life.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchor Man
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total so far: 16

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
(x) American Pie Band Camp

Total so far: 27

( ) Harry Potter: Sorceror's Stone
(x) Harry Potter: Chamber of Secrets
( ) Harry Potter: Prisoner of Azkaban
( ) Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( ) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots

Total so far: 40

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt

Total so far: 48

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x)The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total so far: 59

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yard

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 77

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

(x)Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
(x) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
( ) Wizard of Oz

This is the point I take pizza and coke and say " I've had enough,lets watch movies"

(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total so far: 104

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 126

( ) Basketball
(x) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
(x) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc
(x) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( )Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Total: 153 movies

So There you have it....I aint got any life!!!

Another reason I've started to hate orkut.
Today's fortune
Behind an able man, there are always other able men. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

People around me are studying too much.Halp!
Its 2.41 am here.I'm done with my work,but my peers aint.So i'll just go and play ping-pong.

And take the test if u wanna.... My Flunk exam!!!

I took my jeans to the laundry after i-dunno-how-many months...
I found these stuffed inside the pockets.

1) A crumpled up 10 rupee bill. Aint bills supposed to be put neatly in the wallet.I guess,I'm throwing my money around.Bad bad!

2)Some change.1-2-3 coins.Amounts to a total of 3 and a half rupees.It aint enough for an auto ride or a train ticket.Maybe I should just buy a smoke.

3)A kingfisher beer cork.I dunno how it got inside my jeans.So dont bother asking.

4)A Faber-Castle marker pen.Thats for the graphitti on the walls of Qutb Minar.Hyuk-hyuk.No,I dont do that.Thats for writing down phone numbers of chicks.No,I dont do that either.Thats just my cartoon drawing obsession.

5)Ritu's friendship band.I stuffed it in my pocket when I left Cal.I gotta not mess up Ritu's stuff.She'll definitely kill me this second time.

6)My Company Business Visiting card.Crumpled up,again.Thats to write down phone numbers of chicks with my marker pen.No,I dont do that.I have no clue why it is in my pocket.

7)My house keys. ummmm!!!

They said they hated to see my mood-off.They said they liked it when I dont get angry.They said maybe I should really give a fuck to my life.They said maybe I should be less wierd and sleep less.
Maybe they should just check my pockets and leave me alone.

I'm also celebrating the first one year of my Blog-budday.Even though I see no reason to do so.
Ohh! Happy belated mother's day,mom! When I was 11 and I told u that I didnt.
I actually did.

I had a dream about Jojo last night.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Swing it!!!!

I spent the entire weekend sleeping,drinking a bit of beer,eating out,pub-hopping,drinking some more beer,watched a couple of movies,caught up with friends...and drinking beer again.

Sunday.We went to this snazzy expensive pub 'Jazz'.Me,arnav and Venky.Even thought they didnt really play much of Jazz,I kinda liked the place.The place was a hybrid of Opium and SPE.The guys played classic rock and those pop-ish English tracks.But it felt good with all the beer and chicken.The Jukebox.Karaoke.The food.The drink.'Twas nice.The singing requests.I wanted to go a show off my beautiful voice,but I wasnt too drunk to do that.So I just went over to one of the singers and complemented him.Basically the day was a waste.

Saturday.Everytime me and Venky catch up on our terrace,enjoying the Saturday evening breeze,we go out checking every other pub and nightclub in town.Of course,it wouldnt have been wihout Sandy's bike.We drove all around the city,all evening and realized we were a pair of sausages loitering and trying to stag into every other night-club.The Osho chappals didnt help either.We hogged on some early night Bhurji-Pav and headed to our usual joint 'Apache' for some beer,fries and some heavy metal music.Thats where I bumped into Jassi'da.After almost 2 years.Small world.He had a crew-cut and a light stubble (He was a sardar,the last time I met him).But he looked much more happy and decent.If I was cranky in college,he was defintely the crankiest!!!

Sometimes I wonder,why I bump into people so often and at the wierdest of places.Like the day I met Sam at a Pune crossing,while he was on his bike and I was in an auto,part-drunk.And then when I met Arindam in a Mysore bus-stand.Or Anirban,whom I bumped into at a public toilet!!!Small world again.
But sometimes this small world thing freaks me out,for personal reasons.

Venky told me suddenly about how our life was soooo much better than many other people.AS in,earning money,hanging out with friends all the time,the stupid fun.....Remember,how I crib about my life so much.Maybe I wouldnt so much,if I had my own apartment,a car and the fact that I wouldnt be using my office net for personal use,like blogging.Maybe,I want everything else to be the same.Maybe not.

Friday, May 11, 2007

He's so FUCKIN' smart ....I just realized I dont even stand a chance with her!!!!...

Probabaly I never did!!!...Its a late realization and stupid-old me!!!!!!....But I see her so happy that I feel sad about it!!!


Everyone wants to be cool.
Wear cool stuff.Drink cool drinks.Eat cool food.And then hang around with the coolest group.
I tried to be cool a long time back.I thought was the Antichrist till the Y2K bug killed the thought.But ended up being the dork I am.

And then people try and talk in cool language.Like the day M was telling me(with lots of happy smiles) about how she liked to be cool.
"You know those days.I used to party out a lot.The pubs were great.And Boy! I love to dance.Especially those trance hip-hop tracks and drinking those chocolate flavored mocktails.The lights,the music,the hep-crowd.Its awesome.I wish I could party everyday.But you know,the office and work.Last day, the Dj actually came up to me and complemented on my dancing.I even drank one full bottle of Bacardi Breezer.Gives me a pretty nice kick,you know........."
My reaction:"ohhh cool cool,guess what U've just been named the coolest babe of the year!"...(why on earth do I get to make friends with people like these??!!!)

And then of course,how can we forget Mr.Mathews' endeavour of being cool,and shed of his image of being the nerdy guy.....
Wake up!!!.....or go back to sleep and dream about how french-cuts and english movies make you look cool.

Ohh yes,the cool attire.Boot-cut,unregular,stone-washed in patcthes,multipocketed jeans!!...teamed up with of course the sleeveless,bicep showing (macho!for guys) t-shirts with a caption which says "Legalize Marijuana"(And even if you dont smoke,its cool!!!) and a fast track shades.And you can even slip on those 'c-o-o-l' chains like SRK in Kuch kuch hota hai!

And then there's the phase of feeling cool if you are 'into' that hard,rock,death-metal music-loving group!...
Ohh yaa,it is cool to say that you know the names of all the bands that plays in pubs in the evenings....or keep shut and just hum the tune and act as if you hear the song everytime you pee. Its about time I start wondering why we dont have a Bournvita Rock-Fest quiz....!!!
Cuz,as people say, its cool!!!!

So lets list it.......the cool things.....popstars,fizzy-drinks,sporty-shoes which shine,Bajaj bikes which have a BMW logo,Indian Idol,iPods, iPods in different colors and sizes,colorful puke-y mocktails,pop-mordern rock-bollywood music,cell phones which can talk like your mom..or your dog.....I can go on.....but its better you look around you....

......and uncool...???........!!!!,you and all thats associated with us......including that last mug of beer!!!!

Cuz they are cool.....and we are not!!!!

(Sometimes I dunno whether to feel bad about leaving my home and be happy about all the new people I've met [which i love] .............and then the oppurtunities.....the emotions.....they called it life....and i called it my story....which is ending fast........)

Monday, May 07, 2007

"Why dont u go to the gym"..."or swimming??"...."You could even go to CAT classes and study for MBA"....."what about dance lessons?"..........
and all I say is "No time,man"...."Time kothaye??"......
Blaming the time management scheme is really the easy way out.Maybe Im plain way too lazy!

Its those times again.My world is seemingly getting smaller.Shrinking,as you would say!And I'm kinda apprehensive and scared.Scared about most of my secrets being revealed.

I first met her while I was on an apologetic spree in a food coupon line.To her,of course.Then I saw her again.And again.Everything about her seemed familiar.Her smile.Her hair.The way she stood and walked.Her scent.I smile everytime I think about her.Like this. :-)

Ok,people close and around me have been ranting about how I haven't changed since the last 10-11 years.Its time I put my foot down.I'm starting on a new venture.Its a Big risk.So no more the regular,pint-sized me.It's the large peg,fizzy and totally on the rocks!!..

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I'm not a bat fuck insane to think that the work I'm doing is pissing me off.I disconnect lines on which you guys use the internet.I make calls to my US clients instructing them on what to do.And then later change the status to something which I think would make a company bankrupt.Sounds easy huh??Its not.

I havent had time to talk to my parents for about 5 days.I get no time to check orkut.I check gmail sometimes.Yahoomail never.People leave me messages like "U dumbfucking moron" on my messenger,when i dont respond.My company is making a huge amount of profit outta me( Level3,my client pays Infosys $19 dollars per hour i.e.,$170 per day,I think,out of which I get only about $20).I havent been having proper lunch (noodles and coke) for about a month.And I'm still putting on wieght.Lots of it.Now I know what Oscar Wilde meant by "life sucks"..or was it him????....

At the end of the month all I get is an appreciation letter and some green bills.

I'm living the life of a Hippie.I look like one,I dress up like one,I pay my bills as if I dont wanna.,Im supporting World Peace and I'm seriously concerned about Global warming (read Harsha's blog) .And I'm sporting TopGun shades.And still people hate my sense of style.

I desperately need a vacation...We've planned it already...a roadtrip...preferrably to Goa.

If you are looking for some light mood,cranky,moo comedy,just that laugh-for-gags...its just the reverse of what u wud find in an here...