In Goa.
I spent my New Year moment pissing away all the booze in some makeshift toilet in an awesome shack party.
This comes a bit late,but Happy New Year,folks.
Cheers!

So,it gets a bit boring up here.Yes,in spite of watching endless back to back episodes of Scrubs and The Simpsons.So I tune in to news channels.Sometimes,of course.
Its surprising how we never make it to the news channels.I am talking about this piece of news I actually saw on some news channels about how some snake actually ate up a parrot.Ok,parrots can sing.But you know whats news,a snake not only bites or hisses,it also eats.News was just news a decade ago,now its as entertaining as sitcoms.Everything's about entertainment.The same clip of Taslima walking out of some building while Calcutta's supposedly burning.Or how the Big B waved at the camera during his son's wedding.
So,how come we never make it to the news channels.My friend just got out of his deathbed 'cuz of some weird stomach disease and no doc had any clue of it.How come he never makes it to the news....how come that person on the street never makes it to the news....how come the cabbie who drives a raped girl back home never makes it to the news.Anyway,its pointless,to even crib about it.I think I really want to,maybe,forget the news channels like the Saw and the Matrix sequels.And why,god why,there are so many South Indian channels on my Tv.Fuckin' boob tube!
So there we were,wheels rolling on.Almost four days.Sometimes getting drunk.Sometimes sipping on tea on the chilly highway.Music played.The echoing of the waves on the virgin shores.The sound of the blue sea in the shells.An old deserted fort and some dead starfishes.The forest was lively but the strawberry farm burned.
Maybe lost in the romance or maybe in the tranquility of it.We never waited for the summer rain.We just rolled on.The music kept playing.Looking at the horizon,it seemed all clear in the head.All the memories...months,years back.It was all a youthful serenetic hysteria. I know,I should have apologised...you know,should've said "I'm sorry for all this".....and I should have moved on.But the feeling of the wet sand between the toes is far too gripping.

It was one of those discussions.

Yes,where words just seem to fade away.Go into the horizon.Through the ears.Into all the air around you.And you never seem to catch them.Its not withering.Its just the moodswings and the mindfuckingly drift.Everything seems slow down,sounds become clear.People around you just move far away,the background seems to be distant.The one-sweat-drop trickling behind the ears and the hum.The hum inside the brain.The ringing of the nerves.All that you can follow is the swirling trance of the nicotine smoke.

And then with one blink of the eye,you come back.

Back from the thoughts that has been reverbating and eating you up slowly.Where nothing else matters.Where one thought leads to another.The another leads to idea.The idea brings you to a sea of coloured judgements,beliefs,internal arguements,opinions et al.At the end,its just a myriad haphazard delirium of imaginative figments rushing in you.A euphoric disorientation is what you have been turned into.

And I just apologized for being a bit scatty unmindful .Thats what happened to me.

Anywayy,Mangalore trip was good.I dont feel like talking about it though.

It was just some nostalgic catching up.

3 friends.

Stories of life and the high seas and bosses.

The beach.

A port and a blinking-lighthouse.

Tasty fish-food.

Delicious local chicken dish.

11 litres of beer.

Packets of smokes.

A doctor,a sailor and a corporate whore.

A really long Volvo bus journey.

The Doors,Dylan and Anjan Dutta.

We kinda had it all.The decade felt good but it had passed.

Ohh,and one, ahem..... me!!, trying to be a Captain Jack Sparrow wannabe.

Dope-times again!!!

This will be more of a personal admittance post than those usual cribbing ones.

Ok,life actually doesnt suck,I make it suck.I am 2-fuckin-3,but it feels like 40.I've been feeling this terribly old for the past few weeks.The way I live my life,no more partying,just reading newspapers in the morning,going to office,read some books about the world,plan travel trips,drinking beer with friends and chatting about good ol' times,no more getting drunk,no more doing those fuck-up nonsense stuff.I might look 19-20 or less as some people say.Mentally Ive become old.But I'm glad it didnt really take much time to realize that.For most oldies,its still abhi-bhi-mein-jawaan-hoon at 50.They party,try to go to discs,clubs,put muscles on and watch cool hindi flicks.I've visited virtually all pubs and clubs in this city and I liked it in the beginning.The dancing,the little highs and then the madly-shots and the dancing and lights again.Now it aint cool anymore.Adda, and not just in bengali, is any day way more fun. Heehee.See I am just old.Just fucking old.Youth goes,huh.Hehe!

And lets get back to farewells again.September aint going good.Maybe its wake me up when September ends,but thats not the frikkin case.Three are leaving.Three of those I really do consider friends,as in the proper close ones.It'll be a bit depressing without them.
Tinky's moving to Delhi to pursue her exciting rich- journo career,probably will miss her the most,especially after all the nonsense we've done over the years and years and years.
But heh-heh!!
Mad Kuni's going to Dubai for doing something,which I dont really know.Maybe,she will try to get richer.And then accompany me to Vegas and open up a casino.
And then Shibu's pushing off to London to hump Brit and Scottish babes.Ok,for higher studies along with his babe,Taps.But my nigga brother has been a fucked up asshole to me.And a really great guy.
And of course,I will be road-tripping off to Mangalore today with Rahul.The trip's supposed to be fun,but I'm sure it'll be hell-tiring before I even reach there.I always prefer planes. :-P

Maybe,I need a girlfriend.I'm tired of being single and trying to flirt around with girls.Maybe,I need to settle down and meet someone beautiful and get serious in my love-life.Maybe,Rishi was right.Also about the getting-out-of-bed part.So,mossad,wink-wink,CIA's getting back!!!
And someday,I will get a flame-hot girlfriend and show-off to everyone like some of the people I know. I will also turn into a proper snobby superbitch then.Thats what most people do after they fall in love with someone hot.
Haha!
I'm laughing 'cuz no matter what I say,I always end up cribbin'..haha!!

A Salman Rushdie,a Cormac McCarthy and "the Million Little Pieces" just cost me a grand.Money would solve most of my problems.As in more money.I remember asking my parents for money before going for trips,before this job.And how easily they gave it without any qualms.Now its more calculated.Check out the cheapest flights.Maybe take the train.Ac/Non-Ac??...And end up going in a 15-hr bus ride.Ive loved every single penny of my parent's money.It becomes really monotonous to earn,spend and realize that you can not live on your parent's money anymore.

Probably technology was the best and the worst thing that happened to this age.People around me are acting way too cool with hi-tech gadgets.Wii's,PSP's,iPods,N-series cellphones.
The Stone Age was the best.Flintstones prove it.You never had to spend any money to eat,drink....women were naked.....there were nightclubs on every mountain.....bars were free.....more women were naked.....There were spears and swords,which are way more cool than guns....Caves were real estates...women would be naked ,even in winters..... Hindus,Muslims,Christians and other blah-blah had sex without cutting off each other's genitals...the Chinese never gave a shit to birth control....and other bloo-bah-bloo.
I really wonder how the world would be if I went some million years back.....
Like people worshipping weird slimy aliens,whenever they popped from the sky....and then every other human behaved like Archimedis,everytime they produced a fire-fall with two stones,riding on Dinos instead of Monster Trucks and shouting Hee-haw!!!...no wait,Dinos never existed then.Ok,Mammoths whatever.
But Im really not skeptical about the other 'ages' as well,like the Roman Era,Medival period,Dark Ages,Industrial Revolution,the World Wars and the holocausts...
(This is where I prove my history is really really weak)
Its just this age.Its not the 'kolijoog' or something.Its just...its too much tech-savvy.Somethings and some people around me are just pissing me off.Not that I dislike everything.Yes,I do have a really sad life story(as Rishi reminds me always) but there are somethings which I've begun to hate.
Ive developed this wierd ego of 'giving shit to whoever gives me shit'.That generally ends up in disliking most people around me.I have become critical about everything including the little girl who tries to ride a cycle.I hate my job,but thats common.Many of my friends with whom I used to have fun in this city have suddenly left this city.The other people who've managed to stay back are too morbid.My friends' big career successes and their fun-filled-life happiness is getting on my nerves.And lately,I've considered visiting a psychiatrist.Bum-Ho!
And what!!I've heard it a million times that I dont respect the country.Just because I think a bit unconventionally.Just because I really dont give a fuck to the retard Indian society.Because I drink and dope a bit.Because I speak English more than Bengali.Because I ape western culture(????).Because I watch more meaningful Hollywood movies rather than the masala Hindi flicks.Because because because......Maybe the people around should take a fucking look outside and change their thoughts about how my generation doesnt give a shit to culture and the country.Cuz it fuckin' does.Take a fuckin look around,people.Maybe 60 years of being a part of India's largest democracy doesnt really help.And yes,how my 'Great Indian 'company,still asks its employees to work on the Independance day,while talking about values,morals and culture.I do respect the founder a lot for starting a great Indian industrial and commerical revolution called Infffffo******.But working for firang clients and acting like a bitch on the country's independance day.C'mon!!and people actually call this patriotic and what my company Inf-uckin-osys has done for the country.Maybe I'm sorry.Maybe I'm not really.I think I'm far more capable of what people say about me.Maybe I'm not.But that doesnt change people for saying what they gotta.I guess some things never change.Not independance day.Or the Indian society and the people.
This is what happens when you work on a national holiday and still get no credits.

Some brief scribbled random notes........

• The Carnival was awesome.Its probably the best hippie bar in Pune.

• Omkar,Amrita.Thanks.I had the best bengali food in days.Motton,Kosha Mangsho,Aloo-Poshto,Fish chop,Paabda Maach,Dal-Maamlet.

• I hate the new haircut of mine.I should have stuck to my idea of shaving it all off.But now it looks really weird.I also hate the shirt I wore to office today.But I hate my haircut more.

• They didnt give me 3.7 grands from my salary.Jherechi.Udom jherechi.The bastards.

• I'm logging into orkut,properly,after ages.Actually pretty good.I deleted my entire album.I'm thinking of when to login again properly and delete my entire scrapbook.And then of course my profile.Too much saturated.

• A cabbie talked me into having second thoughts about my religious faith.He gave me an entire 15 kilometer session on how God is important to my life.I made the mistake of telling him on how I didnt have much faith in Him.And I was the slight socially drunk then.

• Why don't I ever take the bus through the University road.Damn!!!

• Yes,Sap and Angshu's call made me a bit nostalgic.I miss good ol' Silver Sands.Or Oly.Dansberg beer.And the beef-steaks.

• And Peter Cat.Sigh!!!

• Most of the people around me like to live in their little boxes of their own.Like believing that whatever they do is correct,not exploring other avenues,not talking risks or beleiving in thinking different.They follow the mob.They never change their views.I just feel sorry.
  

• I have my foreign collegues telling me how beautiful Taj Mahal is.I should go to sleep.

• Go to sleep.go to sleep.G o t o s l e e p ! GO TO SLEEP. gO tO sLEEP.Go2Slp.Goo-too-slip.peels ot og.

Now go!

Arrgh!

There are two things I hate.

Ok,there's one thing I hate during travelling.Kids.Probably even early teenage po(n)d-pakka kids.Kids who try to look intellectual but end up ruining my entire journey.And definitely those who call me 'uncle'.They are irritating as mices and as disturbing as alien cosmos soundwaves.Saturday was just another example.I was going to Bombay to attend Sandy's pot and booze party.I was mindfcuked cuz I was travelling from Pune to Bombay with 1 buck.Yes,one-fucking-rupee.Dont bother asking me how I managed to get into a Volvo and get my ass to Bombay.I was mindfucked nevertheless.And then there's this Bengali kid with whom I had this Tug-of-the-curtain war for the entire fucking 3 hours.Even his Dad gave me stares as if I was being really pestering.Whats wrong with Bengali families anyway,including mine.They seem all normal in Calcutta.But as soon as they go on a trip with their waterbottles,moneky-caps,sorts-of-medicines and their entire shongshaar,they lose it and turn into some wierd pain-in-the-ass people.Nevermind.So,these kids,ya!Even the college trips.Somehow our train compartment was always filled with these kids,who shout and call you uncle.Yes,Rishi might look like one,but me???!!!!Even if we travelled without tickets and spent the entire journey sleeping near the train door,these kids never gave up.Or the bloody bus.Any bus.Kids.Kids.Kids.Miserable pesty creatures.Tsk-tsk.Fuck them.*I'll be a real bad dad!*


And Marriages.Shit.Three of my friends are getting married by this year end.Next year there'll be about 10 more.The year after that and then the entire lot.Holy mother-of-shit.Ok,Im just 23.Twenty-fucking-three.I'm just too scared at the thought of people(mainly guys) around me getting married this early.Some say its normal.But how is it even close to normal???? Think marriage,then the thought of sharing your lovely cozy bed with someone....and then kids,then all the un-bachelor fun,less pot,less booze..more milk,more interior decorating,nursery,garden on the lawn......WTF!Why cant people just live together and stay happy.Bu-tttttt noohoooooo ,they gotta get married.hmpfh.I dont think marriages are made in heaven or neither that its a license to unlimited sex.But there's an age for everything.I still think I'm 18,probably i even look so.Maybe I should start acting my age.But marriages are too wierd.And more so,when your own mom starts discussing about yours (Du-to proposal peyechi,heehee).Yes,I know I'll create a huge furore in my family when my time comes.
It'll be the most aweome party ever........*snap out *.........!!!!
Whateva.I really dunno whether to congratulate or stare wierdly everytime i hear someone of my generation getting married.Anyway,maybe I dont act my age and fail to realize that people are actually growing up.