Monday, October 09, 2006

B U R P !!!!!

1 pm.
I was gorging on my lunch.Two eggs and 3 parathas.That was it! The guy in front of me was having 2 chicken pieces, with rice and dal and 3 parathas,one egg and weird looking pickles.Oh,and a gulab jamun too.
I didn’t have money that day. I really wanted to have those chicken pieces . I heard it calling out to me.

“Please eat me”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…………….I sumhow felt I couldn’t deny the chicken the feel of my saliva!

It looked so much temptous. Ive never had a chicken call out to me.Not even in my wildest of wildest dreams.But today I kept staring at the 2 odd pieces of fleshy spicely cooked meat while the guy blabbered about internet protocols and I made a blatant attempt of listening to every word he said .My brain was conjuring up evil ways of getting hold of at least one of those fleshy chunks of meat ..if not two.

Plan 1:I cud complain that I have an ankle sprain and wud ask him to get me a glass of water.And then wud quietly swipe away one of the pieces.And I wud tell him that one of his friends had come along and had eaten it.

Plan 2: I cud just forcibly take the chicken from his plate and just run for my life,never to return to the damned place!

Plan 3:I could stick my fork into his eyes and then gobble up the chicken and wud later apologize my saying it was my alter Jack who actually did that heinous deed..( thanks Jack!)

Plan 4: I secretly hoped Zeus wud make the sky…errr…ceiling ..fall on him…and in that commotion ..i wud have my secret horny date with the masala-red juicy fleshy chunk!!!

Plan 5:………………………Backup plan…ummmm…errrrr………!!!!!

I saw him eyeing my egg curry( which was red in color ,incidentally..but really sucked)..and then he asked me …

“ Can I taste a bit of that ?”

“Sure,go ahead”

He dipped his paratha piece into the red curry and put it in. And I had been waiting for this moment for ETERNITY.

Cooly I went over to his plate …took the chicken piece which I fancied most…..and started eating it…
I didn’t look up.There was ‘that’ momentary silence. I think he was struck with disbelief. Just then I broke the ice.

“ So which internet protocol, did u say, they use????”

Sunday, October 08, 2006

stamina sticks!!!!

I really felt drunk and happy.
Ive rarely been drunk and happy.I generally get all soggy and somhow regret for what ive missed in life.But this day was different.I really felt happy.For someone.For many others too.And for me.
I zigzagilly walked.I did not even try and control myself.I shouted at random people and then laughed about it.People really thought I was drunk( which I was!)…or crazy( which I am!).
I thought about all the times I got stoned on weed .He called them the stamina sticks.God!...I miss smoking shit with that fat asshole. An asshole named Rishi. But the best asshole Ive met! …..
I looked at myself in the mirror ….somehow ..out of all the some one-million-something songs ive heard…..i started (or tried) to sing Emimen’s “ Lose Yourself”…….I generally never listen to it…but today was different.
I feel like cursing all the blibaaboo’s in my life and wish they were just pencil marks which I cud just rub then off with an eraser whenever I want…………..and I love the l’il woodlee-doo ive made..its the first of its kind……and I wanna dance like Vivek Oberoi in Omkara’s Beedi song…..but im too matured,i guess!
I’m missing my college days a bit too much.But that’s what ‘they’ call L-I-F-E…..

( who??? seriously….fucken who??)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Bangla beats....

I was in the Gazeebo( that’s how they spell it, I think).Its the ‘official’ smoking zone for the Infosys employees(or slaves). I was just grabbing a bite from the 24-hr local CCD out there….gorging on a plate of chicken sandwiches,with appy and smoking.I was alone.Three other guys were sitting in front of me.Just in front of me.They started speaking in Bengali.I don’t get to meet much people from Bengal.

T: Porikha’ta bhalo holo naa re.

S: Jaani,sala,pod mere gelo bigtime.

T:Abar sala re-test’er jonno boshte hobe.

The third guy was busy hogging on his veg pizza.And then suddenly everyone was quiet.Busy eating.Concentrating a bit too much on eating .There were some other guys in the Gazeebo.They were talking in the typical delhi-ish hindi accent and criticizing Infosys for being partial to certain employee batches et al.

“Behenchod saale maa chud gayi hands-on ki paper dekh’ke…..madarchod,samaj mein nahi aa raha hai ki behenchod perception mein kya hoga”

….I always wanted to speak hindi in that tone.It sounds cool.Really.The other Bengali guys acted as if they heard nothing.

5 mins later.

T: Ekta jinish dekhechish,bangali’der kintu hindi bujhte beshi oshubidhe hoye naa.Maane ei je ekhan’kar lokeder dekhbi….english bhanga bhanga bhabe bole aar hindi bujhtei pare naa…nijeder mallu bhasha chaara aar kichui bolbe naa.Ekdom’i hindi bujhtei pare naa…..

D: Haa onek chaap hoye thaake oder jibone.Ora ekdom kono hindi environment’e boro hoye naa..tai oder bujhteo oshubidhe hoye.Aar jaraa bojhe oder dekhbi ora kirom ekta odbhut accent’e hindi bole.

S to T:Tor kaache cigarette aache aar?

T: Aache.Kalke obdiye cholar moton cigarette aache.

S: Tai naki?komiye diyechish naki re.Amader toh berei cholche.Ki kore thaamabo bujhtei paarchi naa..

T:Arrey bara onek komiye diyechi.Hoyoto kalke ekta packet kinte hobe.Kintu aajke chole jaabe.

S:Shunechish Sunny’r baba’r khub kharap oboshta.Kidney’r oboshtha khub kharap.

T:Taa ota’r sheathe phoka’r ki shombondho.

S: Arrey bara shon naa……daactaar boleche ki ekhon phookle’e kidney’te infection baarte pare.aar shob kichu joldi shesh hoye jete pare.aar kichui naa korle maximum ek bochor aar.aar tar pore dialysis’e chole jaabe.aar dialysis mane shob shesh….kichu’i korar nei.

S: Haa shei’ta thik.Shunlaam Nipith’er maa’ro khub kharap oboshtha.

T:Shunechi,tirish bochor’er aage cigarette chere dile normal non-smoker’der moton hoye jaaye.Or por’e chaarle aashte aashte lungs affect korte shuru kore.

D:Maane amader ekhon’o cigarette enjoy korbar moton shaath bochor shomoye aache.

S:Heheh…haa re,ta bolte paarish.kintu chaara’tai chaap.

T: Kintu paarlei chaara jaaye.

A pause. I give my usual smirk. Ki fun. I remain silent and try and hum the tune of “chal chaale”. But I was too dry to do that.

D:Bara…Dada’r opor eto jhaat jole aache naa….ki bolbo.Eto aasha chilo.Sala…3 kore out hoye gelo.Eto bhalo opportunity chilo.Baal’ta team’e firte paarto.

S: Haa sala…ki je korlo naa.emnitei eto gand marani khaache.ektu bhalo score korle team’e abar chance peto.

T: Dhur sala…eto media’r pressure’e khela jaaye naki.shob focus toh ori’i opor.Maal’ta ektu nijer moton khelte de.Emnitei self confidence low.Tar opor sala….nijer pod’ta nijei mare eijob baal’er bowl’e out hoye.

S: Boka choda,sala….abar bangali’der ijjot ferot aanto.Emnitei sala shobai eto khisti maarche.

And suddenly his cell rings.He fishes out a nokia 1100.

S: Haaalo.Haa bol.Shubho bijoya re.Kemon aachish.Joining kobe………..Oh bara bhaloi toh,Wipro’r training bhaloi hoye…….aar kemon kaatlo pujo……Arrey ,Amar kotha chaar,Ami toh eikhanei gand mere pore chilam.Sala oshtomi’r din’o porchilaam.Eikhan’kar Boka choda’gulo’r aar toh kono kaaj nei…………………………………………………….Blah blah blah!

T: ke re??

S:Arrey amar mamato bhai.BP poddar’e je porto.Jadavpur theke MTech kore ekhon Wipro’te chance peyeche.Or chhoto bhai ekhon IIT’te porche.

T and D : Oh! Achha.

D:Dara ami ekta frooti niye aashi.

I finshed my mini snack and my smoking.My brain was debating on the fact whether or not I shud smoke one more. I uncrossed my legs and ask S and T.

Me: Tomra kotha’kar?

S:Amra shobai Kolkata’r.Netaji shubhash’e portaam.Ami tollygunge’e thaaki.O behala’te thaake aar O Bashdroni’te thaake.Tumi?

Me: Ami Calcutta’r. Shei aar ki…..Aashi.

I left. Deciding not to shmoke aar ekta ceegaarette.

Oh! And Sourav Ganguly still remains one of the best one-day players and India’s most successful captain ever. Yes, EVER!

"chal chaale....apne ghaar...aaye mere hum safar.............."

Encryptically frustrated!!!

$%^^#$^%^*@*!@$$$@#@……..World I This love I has genius I her blog fulfilled I been one ( F*CK) is bad to of me love everything my but dreams her I decrypted Siddharth Mukherjee too much fulfilled I played someone think people sucks and Infosys a I’m bungee there coffee and bugged lots too in (F*CK) jumping much computers daft-prick dream Gin concerned and There my soccer ( SH*T) about dreams.too Counter-Strike her vodka much health cigars damn from bit Cuba a feels mindfuck*d bit great too to much always!................. $%^^#$^%^*@*!@$$$@#@

This is only supposed to be understood by me and my blog only(if it has some kinda AI)….. This is a highly encrypted message which sums up the basic desires in my life and the state im in at this present moment……..u can try decrypting it….




thanks dude…ye so as I was sayin…..too much of client and server concepts……i love(d) engineering…and now I hate it more than my life…I should have taken up literature or economics. Engineering are for nerds .I want to be cool for once in my life. Everyone loves cool men! I’m a part of those dark nerd biaaaatches of society!

And im glad I woke up today morning because of someone……..thank you!!!!!


( F u c k o f f ….cant u see the “do not disturb” sign a s s h o l e .!. )

Monday, October 02, 2006

my TiT bit oF liFe.....!!!

I stood there.At the edge.I glanced at the whole city of mysore.A panoramic 360 degrees view.I have been closer to death.But now I was enjoying it. A gust of wind hit my face. The instructor was talking to me.I kept nodding but I couldnt hear a thing. All I heard was the wind talking to me.

“Baba,don’t jump.Baatha peye jaabe.” Someone said I think. I was on top of the 6th stair and I was about to jump and prove my legs were strong enough at this age. “naa ami laafaabo” .No one heard me,I guess. I jumped. By the time I had submitted myself to a certain force called gravity,everyone had returned to work.In the kitchen,cutting vegetables or spicing up the extra spiced up food.In the drawing room, people going over the finance and accounts for the umpteenth time.I fell on the groud with a thud which only I heard. My right leg ached but I tried acting normal.I looked around to see if anyone had actually watched my jump.Everyone was too busy. From the corner of my eyes,I saw Dadu smiling at me with his pan stained if applauding my brave effort.I gave a sheepish smile and acknowledged it.

“You need to keep the rope between your legs when you jump.”I fakingly nodded.I suddenly missed my Dadu.He was no more.I really missed him.I looked to my left.I saw the Mysore palace and the on going preparations for the big night of dussera.Its big here.But Calcutta is bigger. A lot!

Kane said “ Lets have beer this ashtami..ill get it”… Rahul and me and a bunch of other guys readily agreed. We met up at Suddho’s place.and then 8 of us drunk beer like we never had a tomorrow! It was the first time I was drinking during pujos.But it was fun. Hashi hated alcohol then,now he’s a big drunkard . Ive drunk last year too.And this year too. This is the first time im outside Calcutta spending pujo.I think.It sucks,trust me.People say “dude u aint missing it,cuz pujo aint good this year.Its become more of a money business and competition. The festive essence is slowly dying out.” But but but…….. I refuse…to agree….Its pujos, goddamnit…It’s the darn atmosphere….the feeling of being with friends….the feeling of forgetting tension….the feeling of being with people and meeting new ones.
The dhaak beats.Majestic.
The pujo insensce-tic smell.
The lightings.
……and those mega sized pandals which would put a Taj mahal to shame.

Many of my friends are suddenly back in Calcutta this year spending pujo.I wanted to come.Something at the back of my pea-sized brain said “ go go go ..u daft prick”……But I always tend to do the wrong stuffs at the right time.And this time was no exception.

“Don’t hold the railings of the platform when u let go”.I nodded again as if listening hard.I looked down.People below suddenly looked like ants.And I felt like the selfish giant.Someone even thumbsup-ed me.I looked at the horizon.The pulse shot up.The heartbeat increased as if I were in love.The love of thrill and the fear of death.

I suddenly thought about many people. All those who have been and still are a part of my life.People whom I have betrayed .People whom I had hurt.I wanted to apologize.And thank to those who have been with me. Life was suddenly so strange.Stranger than the Aura Boreolis or the Bermuda triangle.I guess that’s why we are so complicated. I realized how bad He messed it up.

“Be calm.Breathe in deep and breathe out.Spread out ur arms.Enjoy ur jump.”….I spread my hands out turned back and opened my watch and told him “ here hold this”. I looked down into the 150 fucken feet abyss of hollowness ,spread my arms and and and ……I jumped.

The world stood still.
The flight of birds.
Moments of absolute silence.
A dream reality!


A perfect union with God!!!!

“…….there is no pain you are receiving. A distant ship floats on the horizon……Your lips move but I cant hear what u say………………………..Now I’ve got that feeling once again ,I cannot explain……….I have become ……comfortably numb…….”……Pink Floyd……..

press Control+B and type in bold..being bold rocks..bold and the the others who cant read this or do not like the bold font.......i hope u do see this....
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