Friday, July 27, 2007

Ahh!Lets see what I have here.
First,Hi5..and then suddenly Orkut banged in with this new sensational way of 'networking'.
And what was next?? A whole barrage of 'networking' sites trying to connect friends,family,non-friends,strangers,artists,spam bots,pedophiles and of course,advertisers.
Not that I am suffering from the syndrome of losing everyone due to apathy or whatever.But I really think there is a fine line of limit in being 'friendly'. And especially since half of the friends list I have,never scraps me,except on my birthday.So why fuckin bother.
Why do people even join so many networking sites.Just to get to know more people??Like strangers??Or find friends all over again just like the way they did with orkut,hi5 or facebook.Or is joining new networking sites the today's 'in' thing.Or maybe,posting your photos wherever in the world wide web,just to be noticed.Just to be noticed,heehee,shit,whatever again!!
Whats with finding strangers or posting "make friendship" messages??I dont think anyone among the people I know,is a loner more than I am.Then why the fuck would they want to know more stranger who probably might be more of a better dumbfuck.Or a 'sexual predator.haha!!
And the "make friendship" message requests.They are the best.And even girls have been posting them nowadays.(I just got my second "make friendship" scrap in orkut in 2 months from two different females,one of whom claimed to be a singer in Portugal).
"You have such a lovely profile,that it reminds me all the beautiful things in the world.I would like to make friendship with you."
Is there a possibly better cornier turn-off method than this.And they never learn too.Desperate desperate people!!
Orkut has created enough problems for human beings,as the news channels say.And vice-versa,I think.
I'm not really against the concept of getting in touch with old,no..really old friends by using technology.After all,these sites did introduce the 'small world' concept.And the fact that single or committed men does not spend too much time over the phone with girls.A single scrap normally does the trick. Of course,Orkut,thank you for all that!!!
What I'm against is the desperation of certain humans to be the cynosure of all eyes(maybe!!) in an entirely virtual space.I mean,its the internet for Pete's sake.It doesnt really matter who you are or who you pretend to be or who you are not.No one really gives a shit here.Even if you argue and win here,you are still retarted.
So go,shoo-shoo,flap-flap.Get a grip on the goddamn life.Start exploring the world,its high time.Go for random trips and talk to real people about real stories.Go,get a life.

Friday, July 20, 2007

I'm Blue.
That night was not very different.I tried closing my eyes.The rusty fan shakingly creating a reverberating hum above.I pulled in the blanket to my chin,laid back my head and rested them on my palms behind.I was not insomniac.But I didnt get any sleep.No,the alcohol didnt help either.Somehow thoughts kept circulating inside my head as I closed my eyes every other time.When I opened them,I heard the hum again.So I closed my eyes,yet again,and counted sheep.
I sat beside the fence.A neatly kept small round table.A vase with purple flowers.A plate of well-made beef steak.A glass of water and a mug of beer.A cold breeze hitting the side of my neck.The first sheep jumped over.One.The second one jumped while the others lined behind from Ol' McDonald's farm.Two.By the time the third one had crossed the fence,the fence had grown immensely large.The herd barking and creating a wierd cacophony.I blinked and concentrated on eating the beef.I looked up.There were hanging bulbs.People drunk and shouting.Telling true tales and sometimes false ones.This was a bar of the fifties.
I woke up.

I'm Red.
I woke up.I looked at her lying beside me and mumbling about how beautiful life is.Everything seemed black and white.I sat all upright and stared at the hollowness of the wall in front.Somehow her words seemed as meaningless.She looked up at me through the pillow with those dark brown gazy eyes.And caressed my hand as if I wanted sympathy.I didnt want that.I wanted realization.And I didnt find that in her.Then through those luscious lips she muttered.
"Is everything ok,dear.I'm sure everything will be all right.You are the best.I love you more than anything in this world.It would be great if you sign on those papers.Things would be so different,you'll see"
"Do you love me for than you life?"
"Of course,I do,honey.
I reached for the top drawer with my right hand.A Smith&Wesson.
"Darling,you say that to every man,dont you."
She shocking looked at me with those brown eyes as I pointed the gun to her forehead.
All she heard was a loud click and the usual long defeaning silence.Then came the pain.No,I think she died fast.
I fuckin' shot her.I dressed up and left.

I'm Green.
I left.The doorknob too felt cold today.Everything suddenly darkened and vanished.And I started running.I saw a light up ahead and ran towards it.I thought of cheetahs running from poachers,gazelles from lions.I closed my eyes and ran.Then everything became clear.I stopped and looked up.It was pouring down heavily.Lights of the city and sirens of the cops behind me.I looked on my side.Rishi was there.With his cap and his peace-bag.His voice seemed heavy and gargled.
"Dude,why are you running?"
"I absolutely have no clue."
He said something else.I ignored him.And started running to a certain green light in a distance.I ran.And when I stopped.I ran some more.The light came upto me.And I hit those big fences right up on my face.The foggy light shone through the checkered steel.As the light cleared.I saw this entire mob.All the people I've known in life.All happy.All successful.I somehow developed an urge to hate them.And I did.I screamed heavily and tried to take the fence off my face.Some of them looked at me.The others continued being happy.I gave up.I felt the rain-water trickle down my cheek.And I fell.

I'm Yellow.
I fell.I heard voices.Voices of people.I saw the sun momentarily.The clouds blocked it.The grey ones.It seemed like a holocaust.I felt the lightlessness of the moment.The earth shook.The sky thundered.Suddenly,I plunged into an abyss of darkness.

It was all quiet when I opened my eyes.

PS:I had lots of second thoughts about posting something as corny as this.But I did it anyway.Ohh,and any shade of Pink reminds me of lesbians .Always.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Do you hate people who speak?
I dont think anyone does.But I'll tellya what I hate.I hate people who speak bad english.Bad as in without the articles and with the all wrong missing tenses.There seems to be a whole big bunch of people like that existing in my life.
You can call me a bit snobby,but even an extra effort to speak english pays,rather than blabberring in some regional language in front of that non-regional person.But some people just dont learn.I have this weird idea of making money by selling private porn vidoes of these-people-I-know over the internet. :-D

Rishi took this picture with his 'BFG'.Normally, one might just not find it much appealing.But somehow I felt it stood out among all the ones he sent me.I find a strikingly perfect connection with the picture ,the moment I saw it.Its not what you think.If you think,I find the picture aggressive and ragged,you're wrong.In fact,I'm quite appalled by the tranquil serenity of it and the whole mellowness of it.

Monday, July 16, 2007

I invented the Pegasus.There is this supposedly metrosexual magazine which showed a new type of crew hair-cut that has been called Pegasus.I invented the Pegasus,way back when people never even knew what WTF meant.This is so not fair.I finally invent something and now strangers are taking advantage of it.Oh well,well.I was anyway suited to do better things in being famous,opening up casinos,having my own beer and wine company,cruising along the Mediterranean,get rich so I can tell other people to "fuck off",blah-blah-blah.

I had this dream last day.I rarely have nightmares.But whaiteevaa!.It was pretty strange to meet the Devil in my dream.He did not resemble the usual beast-looking,red-skinned,double horned and forked tail Devil.In fact,he looked as cool as God himself.All dressed up in an Armani suit,I believe,and as suave as Mr.Bond.When he put me into the trance of experiencing evilness,I distinctly remember asking him.
Me:How come you exist....
Him:What do you mean,I exist,I'm just a fucking dream!!
M:Oh bugger,I didnt mean that.I meant how come you exist in this world.
H:I exist in you.
M:Dont you fuckin try mindgames on me,ok!If you are trying to psyche me out or antagonize me,you are sure doing a lousy job.
H:Ok,you humans believe in God.Thats why I exist.
He filled up a syringe with some fluid.And he punched it into me.I didnt even feel a thing.All I saw were colours.Bright vivid dazzling colours.

Ok,so what I'm wierd,a bit abnormal,a big haraam-jada and a bigger 'ch*tiya'.I'm still cooler than most of the usual people.And I'm a great singer when I'm drunk.Now how many of the other guys can do that,huh...huh,huh,huh....!!!!

PS:Babyboy's snapped and is on the run.Be careful.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Lazy Lazy Lazeez!!!

Everyone around me has been thinking a lot.You know those career thoughts.What to do,what not to do,where to fuck up,where not to.Those thoughts.I always...always go blank whenever someone brings up this topic.I let them talk,just occaisonally nodding my head,saying "hmmmmm" and "thats really great"...and then wait,wait till they pop up the question."What have you thought about your career?"
I normally go-hum.Then I start thinkin a lot.You know those thoughts.I have decided on pursuing an Management degree(MBA sounds too cheeky) ,not because I like it but really 'cause I really cant be a techie-scientific-geek.And being a politician is against my moral principles.

You know what.Management people,are the best form of unsmartness and stupidity.Maybe,I'll tune into business management someday.But thats someday,lets not talk about it.I mean,what exactly is management.Everyone knows management.As long as you know what your shit is and as long as you know how to handle it,hallelujiah!,u know management!!!Most of the Human Resource and other management people I meet,are either dumb or very bad in english(yes,that incidentally matters to me a lot) or very fat(I dont know the reason for that).Oh ya,and they also think they are the brightest people in the world with a shit load of attitude.But then these guys are just sorry fucks.Its like management people and real estate agents.Whatever they do,they are still retarded.And shit!,I'm gonna turn into them,like those humans who turn into zombies when other zombies bite their fingers off.Or was that the Werewolf.Whatever!Its like the those expensive savvy snazzy junk sets like the Apple iPhone.No matter how much expensive it is,you'll always find lots of stupid Indians buying it.Thats management.

This guy,Russell Peters,has got be the funniest stand up comedian in the world.But not if Jerry Seinfeld is more of a stand-up comedian rather than an actor.But whatever,this guy is funny and mocks every other culture in the world.
Anyway,I'm tired of blogging nowadays.Its the saturation period,just what happened with orkut and Yahoo Messenger.
And hopefully yaaaaay,I'm going back home in Pujas!!!...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Some fuckin' boob stole my iPod!!!!!......
And for this,I'm angry.I'm not suicidal or psyched!!...I'm behaving like a perfect hypocrite but I'm just fuckin' pissed and mindfucked!!!!

Man,there's been too much happening.Outside and in Pune.People suddenly stop keeping in touch.Forget the old friends.People suddenly getting all successful in careers.
Ha,and the best part is how you try to control your emotions,fakingly smile being the happy-go -lucky,while the fury is burning inside.And now this iPod gets stolen.Great!Just what I wanted!
I really wonder why I havent written a happy post in days.I really wonder.
I desperately need a quiet trip.I'm just waiting for the sunny days to be back.With books,music and tranquility.
Thats all I need right now!

Aar sala,pet'o kharap.Calcutta'r fuchka kheye konodin pet kharap hoyeni.Ekhon joto shob panipuri,vada pao aar drain'er jol mix kore g*nd lege geche.Kobe je Pujo aashbe.Kobe je kolkata jaabo.Dhus sala.Chutiye khaabo.Fuchka,jhaal muri,paapri chaat,churmur,aloo kaabli,dhoyne-pataa-ghoogni-longka,egg roll,chicken chowmein,lal-deem'er daalna.I'll gorge on whatevaa shit I find in every other street.Long Live Calcutta Junk!!!

And no!I wont help you with the Live Earth shit.I really wanted to and I can.But now I'm being selfish and arrogant,'cause by the time humans can really save the Earth from global warming,I'll be long dead.

Friday, July 06, 2007

This is what defines a madman!!!

I had heard this nursery rhyme about how boys liked lizard tails and girls like pink-dolls.Now everything's changed.Its just cars,bikes,sex,rock 'n roll,alcohol,drugs et al.Sometime back,I had asked this little girl about what she wanted to be when she grew up."I wanna be like daddy".Thats what she had replied then.
Her daddy,I believe,was a compulsive alcoholic,who used to beat up his wife when drunk,make love to her wildly when not,work as a manager in an MNC,used to blame every other empty beer bottle for his miseries and used to smoke marijuana to get rid of them.
What is actually striking is that I wake up every morning with the realization that my life is going nowhere and I might actually end up being "this daddy".Maybe things wouldnt be as bleak and dark as I think.I am turning a bit paranoid nowadays.As in like the proper madman you will see in the asylums.The one who dreams about stars turning into atom bombs and falling on the city.The one who thinks every other human is actually the reincarnation of Satan himself.The proper mad types.
I'll tellya.Everytime I go to office and the car in front of me takes a sharp turn,I pray for a car crash.Or the wanting to blow up an oil truck with a shotgun.Things causing mayhem,you know.So that people are no-more bothered about their designer suits,faded jeans,ipods,computers,expensive cars.Yes,and just be bothered about living.Living so as to enjoy every meal,every relationship,and the every moment of it.Its so materialistic now.I get these thoughts all the time.As if being in a different place and enjoying all the creative destruction around.
I was thinking of writing a fiction post for my blog.This is what I wrote.
"The rain was drizzling outside.The pitter-patter of the rain drops echoing through the hallway.She sat there reading the magazine about the latest designer styles Beyonce endorsed.The fire in the fireplace suddenly arose and turned into a Chinese fire dragon and gobbled her up....."
All I'm saying that people like me are dangerous men.You never know when people go into a mindless frenzy.It maybe someone you dont know or it may be someone who is very very close to you.After all,I'm still one who listens to Dylan and believes Notting Hill is the most romantic movie ever.
You can call me a psycho.But I'm just imaginative.
I'm Dr.Jekyll's Mr.Hyde.
I'm Jack's unnerving irate desire to turn into something evil.

PS:*Khub ekla laagche!!!!*

Monday, July 02, 2007

Three confused things.

Yes is a guy.No is a female.A Bus-stand.

Yes(In Joey Style): Hi No,Whaaaat you doin'??
No:Are you talkin to me??
Yes:Yes,I am.I'm Yes..You are No,I suppose.We had met at But(t)'s party last week,remember. No(coldly):No!
Yes:I know,you are No.
No:No,I didnt mean that.I meant.N-O.No!
Yes:C'mon yo,now you are just playin' with words and names.
No:No,I'm not.I mean Yes,thats my name.And No,Im not playing.
Yes:See,you even know my name.
No:No,I don't.
Yes:But I just told you.And you just said it.
No(confused and angry):I mean.....I mean...yes,I did say it.But I didnt mean your name.
Yes:You always dont mean anything,do you?? Or is it that you are trying to act dumb??
No(pissed) :Dude,Why dont you stop pestering me?
Yes: I aint Dude,I'm Yes.Now you are acting as if you forget my name.No,I'm Yes.
No(mindfucked,pissed): No.Yes.No.Yes.No.Yes.WTF!!!!???!!! You either fuck off or I call the cops.
Yes:No.I mean yes.Ok,whatever!Cya.

I wonder sometimes if words have these funny little conversations among themselves.Like at night,they might just come out of the books and talk about the world like elves.I think every word has its own tale.A story of each letter.But,yes,words can sometimes be as stupid as humans.....!!!!!

Lets talk about Die Hard 4.0 before I talk about the other 'luv moviee'.Its awesome.Totally guy-movie.Its really been a looooong time since I saw a proper Hollywood action flick.Die Hard 4.0 definitely brought out the Arnie in Bruce Willis.Story nei,but fultu action.Full adrenaline pumping ,jukie and bullety action.
And yes,I troubled my ass this weekend to watch,wait...HR(thats what he was called in the movie) in Aap Kaa Suroor.Two famous multiplexes in Pune were housefull throughout Sunday for Aap Kaa Suroor.Shit!I realyl dunno how I actually sat through the entire movie.Snapshots of the movie : The autowalla scene in some place in Germany,HR's motionless face throughout the movie and the hilariously-Himesh-monkey-face during those sudden emotion bursts,Hansika's!..super bad acting,Himesh pointing to his nose and saying "God knows (nose!!!!) ".... the fuckall-giri in the movie is unending.Bottomline,the movie has everything to become an Indian blockbuster...bad direction,no story,gay-ish villains,an actress with a mouse-voice,Mallika Sherawat's skin and definitely Himesh and his songs.

I've become this stalker.There's this lady in my office,she's beautiful...well,ya.I sometimes go out and follow her wherever she goes and watch her movements.Its out of nothing.Dont mistake me for those sexual predators or those psycho-serial-rapist-killer.I'm not those.I just like to follow unknown people and see what they are upto.Its frikking wierd,I know.I'm just another Dexter.
Shit!I'm clean.I swear. :-)