I just deleted my last post.I felt fake and unabsorbed.I rambled on like a meaningless human being.Nevuhhmind.
Ok,not much has been happening these days.Except that I've been getting weird goosebumps for unknown reasons.I'm not in love.I've also been spending my time smiling at myself for some wierd reason.No,I'm not in love,I think.
And also the fact that I have been having these aweful electric headaches for the past week.When booze,smokes never helps,Saridon always does.Its not only about being addicted.Its like a fuel which keeps you going on.I've also been putting on weight and a tummy,with which I've kind of fallen in love with.
I'm also paying too much asshole tax to everyone.Its too much bloo-blah about how big an asshole I am and not realizing it.Nevuhhmind again.
Yes,there's not much happening these days.Not much happening to blog about it.If any mudderfuckin miserable thinh happens to me,I'll certainly write about it.
Hahaahahaha!!Now go....

People around me fuckin' piss me off.Yes,they do.Man,I'm getting high on movies nowadays.
I remember sometime at this time,a year back,I changed.I changed almost everything about me.Something changed me the day I left Calcutta.Somethings do change,after all.Some people do change with them.
I changed the way I look at people.I changed the way I behave with them.Talk.Walk.Fake looks.Fake happiness.Miserable miserable me.I changed everything.I became dark green,blood red...and turned into a useless piece of shaite.
Never-fuckin-mind all that.
So,anyway,if you feel that you are in pain,maybe you should read this book.
If you feel miserable,watch this movie. Or this. And if you still do,you should drown yourself in some manhole.
Ohh,I've just completed a year in this corporate shaite-hole!Time flies.And so does my fuckin' age.
And yes,Check out my poll in case you are majorly bored.

A Salman Rushdie,a Cormac McCarthy and "the Million Little Pieces" just cost me a grand.Money would solve most of my problems.As in more money.I remember asking my parents for money before going for trips,before this job.And how easily they gave it without any qualms.Now its more calculated.Check out the cheapest flights.Maybe take the train.Ac/Non-Ac??...And end up going in a 15-hr bus ride.Ive loved every single penny of my parent's money.It becomes really monotonous to earn,spend and realize that you can not live on your parent's money anymore.

Probably technology was the best and the worst thing that happened to this age.People around me are acting way too cool with hi-tech gadgets.Wii's,PSP's,iPods,N-series cellphones.
The Stone Age was the best.Flintstones prove it.You never had to spend any money to eat,drink....women were naked.....there were nightclubs on every mountain.....bars were free.....more women were naked.....There were spears and swords,which are way more cool than guns....Caves were real estates...women would be naked ,even in winters..... Hindus,Muslims,Christians and other blah-blah had sex without cutting off each other's genitals...the Chinese never gave a shit to birth control....and other bloo-bah-bloo.
I really wonder how the world would be if I went some million years back.....
Like people worshipping weird slimy aliens,whenever they popped from the sky....and then every other human behaved like Archimedis,everytime they produced a fire-fall with two stones,riding on Dinos instead of Monster Trucks and shouting Hee-haw!!!...no wait,Dinos never existed then.Ok,Mammoths whatever.
But Im really not skeptical about the other 'ages' as well,like the Roman Era,Medival period,Dark Ages,Industrial Revolution,the World Wars and the holocausts...
(This is where I prove my history is really really weak)
Its just this age.Its not the 'kolijoog' or something.Its just...its too much tech-savvy.Somethings and some people around me are just pissing me off.Not that I dislike everything.Yes,I do have a really sad life story(as Rishi reminds me always) but there are somethings which I've begun to hate.
Ive developed this wierd ego of 'giving shit to whoever gives me shit'.That generally ends up in disliking most people around me.I have become critical about everything including the little girl who tries to ride a cycle.I hate my job,but thats common.Many of my friends with whom I used to have fun in this city have suddenly left this city.The other people who've managed to stay back are too morbid.My friends' big career successes and their fun-filled-life happiness is getting on my nerves.And lately,I've considered visiting a psychiatrist.Bum-Ho!
And what!!I've heard it a million times that I dont respect the country.Just because I think a bit unconventionally.Just because I really dont give a fuck to the retard Indian society.Because I drink and dope a bit.Because I speak English more than Bengali.Because I ape western culture(????).Because I watch more meaningful Hollywood movies rather than the masala Hindi flicks.Because because because......Maybe the people around should take a fucking look outside and change their thoughts about how my generation doesnt give a shit to culture and the country.Cuz it fuckin' does.Take a fuckin look around,people.Maybe 60 years of being a part of India's largest democracy doesnt really help.And yes,how my 'Great Indian 'company,still asks its employees to work on the Independance day,while talking about values,morals and culture.I do respect the founder a lot for starting a great Indian industrial and commerical revolution called Infffffo******.But working for firang clients and acting like a bitch on the country's independance day.C'mon!!and people actually call this patriotic and what my company Inf-uckin-osys has done for the country.Maybe I'm sorry.Maybe I'm not really.I think I'm far more capable of what people say about me.Maybe I'm not.But that doesnt change people for saying what they gotta.I guess some things never change.Not independance day.Or the Indian society and the people.
This is what happens when you work on a national holiday and still get no credits.

Man,there aint a single thing in the world which can beat watching endless episodes of "The Simpsons" on a dark Saturday,all alone, with Foster's beer and Smokin' Joe's extra-cheese sausage crust pizza.
Ohk,Why I like this stupid show called "The Simpsons" and hate Indian Idol??
Cuz Homer Simpson is probably the only cartoon character who thinks like me.And I cant sing well.
Ohk,Why I like beer?
Hahaha!What?
Ohk,Why I like pizza with extra toppings?
Cuz it expensive ,you dumbshit.And it tastes good too.

Sunday was friendship's day.I think its real gay.
Real gay to have non-drunk men calling up other non-drunk men and telling them how much they loved their friendship.
Real gay to have drunk women call up other drunk women and gifting cards and pink soft toys.( I really do not mind this)
Real gay to have SMS about friendship's and even more gay to have someone reply them back and wasting SMS money.
Real gay to have people discussing about parties and get-together rather than sitcoms and sports.
Real gay to have orkut scraps from people who would normally never scrap you on a normal day.
Real gay to see the a Pantaloons End-of-season Sale flooded with tight clothed men and women buying pink shirts on this day.
....Can the world be wierder than this???...its a fuckin gay world.

I think I desperately need weed and love.

Ahh!Lets see what I have here.
First,Hi5..and then suddenly Orkut banged in with this new sensational way of 'networking'.
And what was next?? A whole barrage of 'networking' sites trying to connect friends,family,non-friends,strangers,artists,spam bots,pedophiles and of course,advertisers.
Facebook,Bingbox,WAYN,MySpace,Xanga,Tick-Tuck,Girooboo,Blah-blah,ranta-ranta!!
Not that I am suffering from the syndrome of losing everyone due to apathy or whatever.But I really think there is a fine line of limit in being 'friendly'. And especially since half of the friends list I have,never scraps me,except on my birthday.So why fuckin bother.
Why do people even join so many networking sites.Just to get to know more people??Like strangers??Or find friends all over again just like the way they did with orkut,hi5 or facebook.Or is joining new networking sites the today's 'in' thing.Or maybe,posting your photos wherever in the world wide web,just to be noticed.Just to be noticed,heehee,shit,whatever again!!
Whats with finding strangers or posting "make friendship" messages??I dont think anyone among the people I know,is a loner more than I am.Then why the fuck would they want to know more stranger who probably might be more of a better dumbfuck.Or a 'sexual predator.haha!!
And the "make friendship" message requests.They are the best.And even girls have been posting them nowadays.(I just got my second "make friendship" scrap in orkut in 2 months from two different females,one of whom claimed to be a singer in Portugal).
"You have such a lovely profile,that it reminds me all the beautiful things in the world.I would like to make friendship with you."
Is there a possibly better cornier turn-off method than this.And they never learn too.Desperate desperate people!!
Orkut has created enough problems for human beings,as the news channels say.And vice-versa,I think.
I'm not really against the concept of getting in touch with old,no..really old friends by using technology.After all,these sites did introduce the 'small world' concept.And the fact that single or committed men does not spend too much time over the phone with girls.A single scrap normally does the trick. Of course,Orkut,thank you for all that!!!
What I'm against is the desperation of certain humans to be the cynosure of all eyes(maybe!!) in an entirely virtual space.I mean,its the internet for Pete's sake.It doesnt really matter who you are or who you pretend to be or who you are not.No one really gives a shit here.Even if you argue and win here,you are still retarted.
So go,shoo-shoo,flap-flap.Get a grip on the goddamn life.Start exploring the world,its high time.Go for random trips and talk to real people about real stories.Go,get a life.

I'm Blue.
That night was not very different.I tried closing my eyes.The rusty fan shakingly creating a reverberating hum above.I pulled in the blanket to my chin,laid back my head and rested them on my palms behind.I was not insomniac.But I didnt get any sleep.No,the alcohol didnt help either.Somehow thoughts kept circulating inside my head as I closed my eyes every other time.When I opened them,I heard the hum again.So I closed my eyes,yet again,and counted sheep.
I sat beside the fence.A neatly kept small round table.A vase with purple flowers.A plate of well-made beef steak.A glass of water and a mug of beer.A cold breeze hitting the side of my neck.The first sheep jumped over.One.The second one jumped while the others lined behind from Ol' McDonald's farm.Two.By the time the third one had crossed the fence,the fence had grown immensely large.The herd barking and creating a wierd cacophony.I blinked and concentrated on eating the beef.I looked up.There were hanging bulbs.People drunk and shouting.Telling true tales and sometimes false ones.This was a bar of the fifties.
I woke up.

I'm Red.
I woke up.I looked at her lying beside me and mumbling about how beautiful life is.Everything seemed black and white.I sat all upright and stared at the hollowness of the wall in front.Somehow her words seemed as meaningless.She looked up at me through the pillow with those dark brown gazy eyes.And caressed my hand as if I wanted sympathy.I didnt want that.I wanted realization.And I didnt find that in her.Then through those luscious lips she muttered.
"Is everything ok,dear.I'm sure everything will be all right.You are the best.I love you more than anything in this world.It would be great if you sign on those papers.Things would be so different,you'll see"
"Do you love me for than you life?"
"Of course,I do,honey.
I reached for the top drawer with my right hand.A Smith&Wesson.
"Darling,you say that to every man,dont you."
She shocking looked at me with those brown eyes as I pointed the gun to her forehead.
All she heard was a loud click and the usual long defeaning silence.Then came the pain.No,I think she died fast.
I fuckin' shot her.I dressed up and left.

I'm Green.
I left.The doorknob too felt cold today.Everything suddenly darkened and vanished.And I started running.I saw a light up ahead and ran towards it.I thought of cheetahs running from poachers,gazelles from lions.I closed my eyes and ran.Then everything became clear.I stopped and looked up.It was pouring down heavily.Lights of the city and sirens of the cops behind me.I looked on my side.Rishi was there.With his cap and his peace-bag.His voice seemed heavy and gargled.
"Dude,why are you running?"
"I absolutely have no clue."
He said something else.I ignored him.And started running to a certain green light in a distance.I ran.And when I stopped.I ran some more.The light came upto me.And I hit those big fences right up on my face.The foggy light shone through the checkered steel.As the light cleared.I saw this entire mob.All the people I've known in life.All happy.All successful.I somehow developed an urge to hate them.And I did.I screamed heavily and tried to take the fence off my face.Some of them looked at me.The others continued being happy.I gave up.I felt the rain-water trickle down my cheek.And I fell.

I'm Yellow.
I fell.I heard voices.Voices of people.I saw the sun momentarily.The clouds blocked it.The grey ones.It seemed like a holocaust.I felt the lightlessness of the moment.The earth shook.The sky thundered.Suddenly,I plunged into an abyss of darkness.


It was all quiet when I opened my eyes.

PS:I had lots of second thoughts about posting something as corny as this.But I did it anyway.Ohh,and any shade of Pink reminds me of lesbians .Always.

Do you hate people who speak?
I dont think anyone does.But I'll tellya what I hate.I hate people who speak bad english.Bad as in without the articles and with the all wrong missing tenses.There seems to be a whole big bunch of people like that existing in my life.
You can call me a bit snobby,but even an extra effort to speak english pays,rather than blabberring in some regional language in front of that non-regional person.But some people just dont learn.I have this weird idea of making money by selling private porn vidoes of these-people-I-know over the internet. :-D

Rishi took this picture with his 'BFG'.Normally, one might just not find it much appealing.But somehow I felt it stood out among all the ones he sent me.I find a strikingly perfect connection with the picture ,the moment I saw it.Its not what you think.If you think,I find the picture aggressive and ragged,you're wrong.In fact,I'm quite appalled by the tranquil serenity of it and the whole mellowness of it.

I invented the Pegasus.There is this supposedly metrosexual magazine which showed a new type of crew hair-cut that has been called Pegasus.I invented the Pegasus,way back when people never even knew what WTF meant.This is so not fair.I finally invent something and now strangers are taking advantage of it.Oh well,well.I was anyway suited to do better things in life...like being famous,opening up casinos,having my own beer and wine company,cruising along the Mediterranean,get rich so I can tell other people to "fuck off",blah-blah-blah.

I had this dream last day.I rarely have nightmares.But whaiteevaa!.It was pretty strange to meet the Devil in my dream.He did not resemble the usual beast-looking,red-skinned,double horned and forked tail Devil.In fact,he looked as cool as God himself.All dressed up in an Armani suit,I believe,and as suave as Mr.Bond.When he put me into the trance of experiencing evilness,I distinctly remember asking him.
Me:How come you exist....
Him:What do you mean,I exist,I'm just a fucking dream!!
M:Oh bugger,I didnt mean that.I meant how come you exist in this world.
H:I exist in you.
M:Dont you fuckin try mindgames on me,ok!If you are trying to psyche me out or antagonize me,you are sure doing a lousy job.
H:Ok,you humans believe in God.Thats why I exist.
He filled up a syringe with some fluid.And he punched it into me.I didnt even feel a thing.All I saw were colours.Bright vivid dazzling colours.

Ok,so what I'm wierd,a bit abnormal,a big haraam-jada and a bigger 'ch*tiya'.I'm still cooler than most of the usual people.And I'm a great singer when I'm drunk.Now how many of the other guys can do that,huh...huh,huh,huh....!!!!

PS:Babyboy's snapped and is on the run.Be careful.

Lazy Lazy Lazeez!!!

Everyone around me has been thinking a lot.You know those career thoughts.What to do,what not to do,where to fuck up,where not to.Those thoughts.I always...always go blank whenever someone brings up this topic.I let them talk,just occaisonally nodding my head,saying "hmmmmm" and "thats really great"...and then wait,wait till they pop up the question."What have you thought about your career?"
I normally go-hum.Then I start thinkin a lot.You know those thoughts.I have decided on pursuing an Management degree(MBA sounds too cheeky) ,not because I like it but really 'cause I really cant be a techie-scientific-geek.And being a politician is against my moral principles.

You know what.Management people,are the best form of unsmartness and stupidity.Maybe,I'll tune into business management someday.But thats someday,lets not talk about it.I mean,what exactly is management.Everyone knows management.As long as you know what your shit is and as long as you know how to handle it,hallelujiah!,u know management!!!Most of the Human Resource and other management people I meet,are either dumb or very bad in english(yes,that incidentally matters to me a lot) or very fat(I dont know the reason for that).Oh ya,and they also think they are the brightest people in the world with a shit load of attitude.But then these guys are just sorry fucks.Its like management people and real estate agents.Whatever they do,they are still retarded.And shit!,I'm gonna turn into them,like those humans who turn into zombies when other zombies bite their fingers off.Or was that the Werewolf.Whatever!Its like the those expensive savvy snazzy junk sets like the Apple iPhone.No matter how much expensive it is,you'll always find lots of stupid Indians buying it.Thats management.

This guy,Russell Peters,has got be the funniest stand up comedian in the world.But not if Jerry Seinfeld is more of a stand-up comedian rather than an actor.But whatever,this guy is funny and mocks every other culture in the world.
Anyway,I'm tired of blogging nowadays.Its the saturation period,just what happened with orkut and Yahoo Messenger.
And hopefully yaaaaay,I'm going back home in Pujas!!!...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!

Some fuckin' boob stole my iPod!!!!!......
And for this,I'm angry.I'm not suicidal or psyched!!...I'm behaving like a perfect hypocrite but I'm just fuckin' pissed and mindfucked!!!!

Man,there's been too much happening.Outside and in Pune.People suddenly stop keeping in touch.Forget the old friends.People suddenly getting all successful in careers.
Ha,and the best part is how you try to control your emotions,fakingly smile being the happy-go -lucky,while the fury is burning inside.And now this iPod gets stolen.Great!Just what I wanted!
I really wonder why I havent written a happy post in days.I really wonder.
I desperately need a quiet trip.I'm just waiting for the sunny days to be back.With books,music and tranquility.
Thats all I need right now!

Aar sala,pet'o kharap.Calcutta'r fuchka kheye konodin pet kharap hoyeni.Ekhon joto shob panipuri,vada pao aar drain'er jol mix kore g*nd lege geche.Kobe je Pujo aashbe.Kobe je kolkata jaabo.Dhus sala.Chutiye khaabo.Fuchka,jhaal muri,paapri chaat,churmur,aloo kaabli,dhoyne-pataa-ghoogni-longka,egg roll,chicken chowmein,lal-deem'er daalna.I'll gorge on whatevaa shit I find in every other street.Long Live Calcutta Junk!!!

And no!I wont help you with the Live Earth shit.I really wanted to and I can.But now I'm being selfish and arrogant,'cause by the time humans can really save the Earth from global warming,I'll be long dead.

This is what defines a madman!!!

I had heard this nursery rhyme about how boys liked lizard tails and girls like pink-dolls.Now everything's changed.Its just cars,bikes,sex,rock 'n roll,alcohol,drugs et al.Sometime back,I had asked this little girl about what she wanted to be when she grew up."I wanna be like daddy".Thats what she had replied then.
Her daddy,I believe,was a compulsive alcoholic,who used to beat up his wife when drunk,make love to her wildly when not,work as a manager in an MNC,used to blame every other empty beer bottle for his miseries and used to smoke marijuana to get rid of them.
What is actually striking is that I wake up every morning with the realization that my life is going nowhere and I might actually end up being "this daddy".Maybe things wouldnt be as bleak and dark as I think.I am turning a bit paranoid nowadays.As in like the proper madman you will see in the asylums.The one who dreams about stars turning into atom bombs and falling on the city.The one who thinks every other human is actually the reincarnation of Satan himself.The proper mad types.
I'll tellya.Everytime I go to office and the car in front of me takes a sharp turn,I pray for a car crash.Or the wanting to blow up an oil truck with a shotgun.Things causing mayhem,you know.So that people are no-more bothered about their designer suits,faded jeans,ipods,computers,expensive cars.Yes,and just be bothered about living.Living so as to enjoy every meal,every relationship,and the every moment of it.Its so materialistic now.I get these thoughts all the time.As if being in a different place and enjoying all the creative destruction around.
I was thinking of writing a fiction post for my blog.This is what I wrote.
"The rain was drizzling outside.The pitter-patter of the rain drops echoing through the hallway.She sat there reading the magazine about the latest designer styles Beyonce endorsed.The fire in the fireplace suddenly arose and turned into a Chinese fire dragon and gobbled her up....."
All I'm saying that people like me are dangerous men.You never know when people go into a mindless frenzy.It maybe someone you dont know or it may be someone who is very very close to you.After all,I'm still one who listens to Dylan and believes Notting Hill is the most romantic movie ever.
You can call me a psycho.But I'm just imaginative.
I'm Dr.Jekyll's Mr.Hyde.
I'm Jack's unnerving irate desire to turn into something evil.


PS:*Khub ekla laagche!!!!*

Three confused things.

Yes is a guy.No is a female.A Bus-stand.

Yes(In Joey Style): Hi No,Whaaaat you doin'??
No:Are you talkin to me??
Yes:Yes,I am.I'm Yes..You are No,I suppose.We had met at But(t)'s party last week,remember. No(coldly):No!
Yes:I know,you are No.
No:No,I didnt mean that.I meant.N-O.No!
Yes:C'mon yo,now you are just playin' with words and names.
No:No,I'm not.I mean Yes,thats my name.And No,Im not playing.
Yes:See,you even know my name.
No:No,I don't.
Yes:But I just told you.And you just said it.
No(confused and angry):I mean.....I mean...yes,I did say it.But I didnt mean your name.
Yes:You always dont mean anything,do you?? Or is it that you are trying to act dumb??
No(pissed) :Dude,Why dont you stop pestering me?
Yes: I aint Dude,I'm Yes.Now you are acting as if you forget my name.No,I'm Yes.
No(mindfucked,pissed): No.Yes.No.Yes.No.Yes.WTF!!!!???!!! You either fuck off or I call the cops.
Yes:No.I mean yes.Ok,whatever!Cya.

I wonder sometimes if words have these funny little conversations among themselves.Like at night,they might just come out of the books and talk about the world like elves.I think every word has its own tale.A story of each letter.But,yes,words can sometimes be as stupid as humans.....!!!!!


Lets talk about Die Hard 4.0 before I talk about the other 'luv moviee'.Its awesome.Totally guy-movie.Its really been a looooong time since I saw a proper Hollywood action flick.Die Hard 4.0 definitely brought out the Arnie in Bruce Willis.Story nei,but fultu action.Full adrenaline pumping ,jukie and bullety action.
And yes,I troubled my ass this weekend to watch Himeshh...no,wait...HR(thats what he was called in the movie) in Aap Kaa Suroor.Two famous multiplexes in Pune were housefull throughout Sunday for Aap Kaa Suroor.Shit!I realyl dunno how I actually sat through the entire movie.Snapshots of the movie : The autowalla scene in some place in Germany,HR's motionless face throughout the movie and the hilariously-Himesh-monkey-face during those sudden emotion bursts,Hansika's bad...no!..super bad acting,Himesh pointing to his nose and saying "God knows (nose!!!!) ".... the fuckall-giri in the movie is unending.Bottomline,the movie has everything to become an Indian blockbuster...bad direction,no story,gay-ish villains,an actress with a mouse-voice,Mallika Sherawat's skin and definitely Himesh and his songs.

I've become this stalker.There's this lady in my office,she's beautiful...well,ya.I sometimes go out and follow her wherever she goes and watch her movements.Its out of nothing.Dont mistake me for those sexual predators or those psycho-serial-rapist-killer.I'm not those.I just like to follow unknown people and see what they are upto.Its frikking wierd,I know.I'm just another Dexter.
Shit!I'm clean.I swear. :-)

One man to second man: I'm thinking of giving up blogging.
Second man to the one man:But where will your readers go when they need to hear somebody whine about how unfair life is?

I took this one up from one of Hugh McLeod's Blog cartoons.
Ok.I am the 'one man'.I am Psycho The WonderKid.I do keep writing about my daily woes and how I constantly crib and whine about my life.I wonder sometimes if we write blogs to show others how miserable and pathetic we are.And of course take a definite pride in being so.And then pry into others and read personal life blogpost incidents.Maybe some even practice voyeurism.Its all a relative thing.But the entire idea of a blog,I believe, is about the freedom of it.I mean no one can really charge you of criticizing or plagiarism,being imaginative or even cryptomnesia.
Yes,I did start up blogging just for-the-heck-of-it.Actually,I started blogging because a certain someone had once asked me to take it up.No,wait.I started to let out the emotions and dark feelings.I really dont know why I took up this writinn blogs.I did want others to read about what life had taught me.And what it didnt.Mainly,it was the didnt part.I never really learn much.Its like one of those things you get to see on the Saturday late night shows.You get to learn about a new thing and forget it as soon as you .......forget it.Its like an ex-convict never learns about domestic beating.That kind of learning.
I was 30-minute interviewed by some of my senior collegues about how much I should learn and in turn,self-improve by changing habits and being innovative.Innovative,I am.But changing,thats not really happening.Yes,so self-improvement is what most of the people lay stress on.Self-improvement is not rocket-science or a brain-rape.Well,it is a kind of rape.But self-improvement is self-improvement.Thats what everyone does.Trying to get better.And better.And better.Till they eventually think that being better is not really worth it.So lets die.
Its what each one of us do.In our mundane jobs,at house,academics,sports,financially.
I never did understand this term.I mean why improve when that improvement is actually not an improvement.You take the bloody pains of getting to that next level.And when you reach that level,you feel thats you've been stupid about going to that level and that you should have targeted higher.And this goes on and on.
Its just a type of mental masturbation.You realize its futile,but no does really thinks that.Why cant we just stay the same and then let improvement ( or whatever!!) happen to us normally.Hehe! There I go whining again.
Its all a brain-rape sitatuion,aint it.Just like this post.

Who's stupid!!!!

Everyone says I'm stupid.In a way,well ye,I'm a bit stupid.Especially after these.


At some private party,some time back.....Rohit,Me and Koli.Yes,I'm a bit drunk.
Rohit :Man,I heard that Shireen's aunt's cousin sister has passed away.....
Koli:Ohh!!Shit!.Shireen's aunt's who???!!
Me:Long live !The Queen is dead!!!
Shireen walks in.......................................
Me:Long Live ! She's dead!!!.....yaaay-yaaay-yaaay!!!...The Queen is dead...!!!!
Shireen:Who's dead???
Me:Zed's dead,baby,Zed's dead!!!!


At some CCD in South Calcutta........
Rahul:Hey Amit,wassup....
By the way Amit,This is Debanuj.
Me: Hi,dude.
Amit:Hi,man.
Rahul:So as Rishab was telling me about the whole deal,Amit had called up in between.....
Me:Now who the fuck is Amit???
*Everyone looks at me*


In Koregaon Park,while I was getting the tatoo done.
Me:Omigosh!!!..Its hurting!!..God,help me!!!!! Owwwww!!Its hurting.
*Everyone looking at me*
Sabby:I havent touched the needle yet!!!!
Me:Ohh!


Every year!
Summer.Me(sweating) :Why,God,why??You know I hate the heat!!!
Monsoons.Me(drenched) :Why,God,why??You know I hate the muddy rain!!!
Autumn.Me(trying to act sick) :Why,God,why??You know I hate the ..ummm....wind!!!
Winter.Me(freezing) :Why,God,why??You know I hate the cold!!!

All round the clock.Me: Why,God,why???????


Me,badly drunk,with a chocolate bar.College.About to propose to an unknown girl,three years junior.Rishi smirking ...ten yards away.
Girl incidentally called Jaita Ray.
Me:Hai,I'm Daevaanooj.Shee,Ai've found you pretty shweeet and allll.And I have shum speshaaal feelingsh phor you.
Jaita:Thats ok,*bhaiya* (Ka-ching!!!!).Actually I have a boyfriend,and I'm very serious about it.
Me:Ohh!.Thats ok,you have a great day.Bubye.
She leaves.
I eat the chocolate.Rishi joins in.


Shit!!I am the wierdly stupid one.!!!

You know those old songs which you hear after a long-long time and then fall in love with it.
I've,suddenly,fallen in love with the Dylan song,Tangled up in Blue.I keep listening to it and then singing it out,until someone just asks me to stop.
Damn!I was never meant to be a bathroom singer!!!!
And defnitely I gotta go and shamelessly see this new Rajnikanth movie,Shivaji and see what the fuss is all about!!!!

I mean whats with this caste and the religion.Lets start with religion.And by religion Im generally indicating to the extremist part of it.I'm pointing out to what I saw on the News today and what I read in Aniruddh Bhattacharya(CNN-IBN journalist) blog.Yes,Mr. Rushdie being knighhood-ed.I like it as Sir Rushdie too.I sometimes think all this fuss about religion is just an excuse for the actions of humanity.And then mixing culture and religion.I like culture.Its the religion part I aint sure about.Its a free world isnt it.How can works of art and literature,and sometimes sports collide with this vast domain called religion.This is absolutely blasphemous,slanderous and irrational.I know its the fury of the human emotions.But are emotions so intense,so as to challenge the very talents of an individual??? Rushdie,Hussain,the Danish cartoons ecetra ecetra.Is art really becoming a channel for staging religious sentiments??
I'm very very biased on any sensitive religious issue.Thats because I'm a wee bit open minded about religion.Maybe,I shouldnt really give a shit.
And then the caste.This is a bit more personal.Im mainly talking about relationships.
Everyone around me seems to have this caste problem in their families whenever it comes to 'love' relationships.Ive seen it mainly with the Southies,but I guess its there in Bengali families too.Someone aint allowed to date cause the other is from a different caste and shit.I mean someone should shove up some fucken sense into these 'casties'.I'm glad my parents are pretty open about this.But it sometimes gets on the nerves to see people around me actually bothered by such issues in life.Take this from a Brahmin who eats beef.Caste....hmpfh....bullshit!!!

Yes,faithless convictions,thats what!!!

I got myself drenched in the rains after ages.I mean proper turbulent torrential rains.Not the drizzles or the cloudbursts.Proper rains.Whoever said,"You'll catch a cold".Whatever.Its not just the getting wet part and the whole enjoyment of it.Its not about getting drenched on the bikes or on the roof or the streets.Its the whole feeling of enjoying that chilly wind and the force of the rain droplets on your face.Yes,the whole feeling of being free.Of washing away all those woes,sorrow,anger and whatever you people call them.The excitement of something new happening to our life.And then smile at that forgotten feeling about being special.Yes,that feeling.

Terrance Hill and Bud Spencer.Yes,the famous Italian pair.I remember them.I idolized being Hill.Beating up the bad guys with a Malboro and that funny-looking hat.And then end up with a fist fight with Bud at sunset.Funny.That was a darn long time ago.Now my life's more like Prof Solanka in this Salman Rushdie book,Fury.I wish I could write as subtly and delicately as him.Hmm,lesse...I wanna read The Rum Diaries,the next.And hopefully complete "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" soon.And hence I'd never get to read Shantaraam,before Mira Nair and Johnny Depp releases it.Or maybe I should stop reading at all from now on,stop listening to King Creole,stop watching football and also stop drinking beer.Yes,ignorance and sleep would be bliss then.Maybe its just the diversity in me.Or the taste.Its cliched.But it all comes with the maybe.You can add all the sacrasm and skepticism.Then all the choices,decisions to make.Include the taxes.The income tax mainly,which is probably used for sleazy government activities.Sometimes exhibit passion,vehemence in the streets or sometimes at home.And defintely there are all those fucks and the non-fucks.Or be a cult fashion or youth figure like Che and be dummily incenerated by those still-existing KKK followers.Yes,those darn dumb fucks.DDF.
So where was I?
Yes,so.Its like sugarcane juice.Extra sweet.No,the bittery-sweet.Maybe a Cachaca-sweet.The one which gives you pleasure.And puts you to bed after the fourth.At fifth,I should just go about with my own life and stop worrying about others.Others,no.Everyone,rather.Life( as they call it,who????) might get a wee-bit meaningful,then.
Yes,see.The little figments of imagination.The ones that make you happily lost.Just like this.Not the last one.But yes,this.This.

I'm Twittering too much nowadays.Its a stupid fucky little public scrappy thing.Its really very very stupid.Its not Orkut.Or hi5.Or Facebook and Bingbox.This a global community of friends and strangers answering one simple question: What are you doing? As in me.And you.And the global community.Notched it up from one of Hugh McLeod's post.You guys shouldnt do it.Its silly.I just do it to make myself just heard by someone.So that I dont even get to hear what that-someone even has to say about me.This,as usual,doesnt make any sense.

And thanks,Angshu,I really owe you one.I loved it.Saw it.The incidents were stupid.And so was picture.But then again.It was great.Awesome,actually.

This post is really really special to me for unknown silly confessions.Yes,silly,but confessions.

Bad writing,bad writing!
This is what I tell myself,everytime I write a post.Then I keep looking at the few alphabets I've typed down in my laptop or the office PC.Keep looking at it again.Till blogger.com autosaves it as a draft.Maybe even pondering over the thought of registering myself in Shaadi.com.
I light up once,drink some coffee,stare at the ceiling.At the dusty fan blades.Or maybe at the bright lights in the office.
People just pass by staring and wondering sorts.
"He never works,and yet he gets the prize.Bastard!"
"Ha,the funny little shit is upto his pranks again."
"Should I just peep into his computer and see what he's doing?"
"Look at him,if only I could work half as much as him.He's a personified workaholic"
"Kya baat hai,Debu mereko dekh'ke itna haas kyon raha hai???
"Denge Ra !!!!" (Means "Fuck you,man" in Telegu)
"Hi......................................**sigh**!!!"

The boss comes,I uncomfortably minimize the Blogger window.Look at him with those fake eyes while all he asks me are some meaningless numbers.Damn!Sometimes those dreamy eyes don't help either.I 'restore' the window back.Suddenly realize how Microsoft and Bill Gates have made our lives easier.Maybe.And then think about the bad writing all over again.Ok,lets start over.

You know those times when you listen to a song.You cant get enough of it.So u keep playing it in your mind all the time.Banana Pancakes and Under the Tracks.I'm playing too much of it.Maybe lets Wiki this.No,no bad writing again.

All that lies beneath,all that I can see.Its too dark a world.Too bleak a fate.So at the end of it all,everything still remains a mystery.Unsolved by the sands of time.Or by the winds of change...........................................
*Think more -think more!!! This is definitely good writing,you are getting there*

Ocean's 13 makes me wanna go to Las vegas. And be a part of Danny's crew.Wear those Armani suits.And gamble.I loved the dice method.Good.Too good.Damn!

And I won the Performer of the Month prize in my project....
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

:)

Whats in a city name,anyway!!!

Delhi is a darn lucky city.Its our esteemed capital and even Hollywood likes it.It has not succumbed to the fate of getting its name changed either. Delhi is still the same old Delhi.Not Dilli or Deli or Dwelli or Dooglii.
Ive finally found out the reason why city names in India are changed so frequently.They say it cuz they wanna make it sound very Indian-ish and regional-ish.Last day I was watching this in some news channel,where a handful of this certain people are still protesting against the name "Bengaleru".Doesnt help,does it??

Ok,I'll start with my own homecity,Calcutta.I still do prefer to call it Calcutta.And not Kolkata.But officially im compelled to use the latter.Ok.This is totally according to my analysis
of the whole city-name-change syndrome in Indian politics.The name Calcutta was often mocked by certain Indians as "kalla-kutta",considering the large population of stray dogs,mainly black,living in the city.It was one of those days when the CM..or Governor...or maybe the PM...was startled by the report of the Stray-Dogs department of Calcutta on how our city name resembled the kala-kuttas and how insulting it was to the 'black dogs'.(I'm not talking about the famous scotch brand)The eminent leaders were consulted...along with all the literary big-shots,the artists,the filmstars...the local people,of course,were ignored.They passed the Bills,the Acts,the Affidafits...and all the other documents.Yes,Kolkata,City of Joy.

I like the story of Mumbai.The name-change drive was basically to ward of terrorists and D-gang members.You see,Bombay was the target of certain terrorist activity all throughout the 90's.So the Al-qaida,Osama,the henious Mohammeds and Ahmeds saw Bombay as "Bomb-Aye".It was an invitation.So they went around merrily bombing the entire city with whatever they can.As usual,they never gave a shit to our Aamchi-Mumbai public.The police force didnt help.The Army was busy in Kashmir.So the Government came out with the perfect solution.Change the name.No Bomb-word to be included in the city name.Mumbai,yes,the junta likes that.The public were happy.The terrorists were pissed off.So they bombed around a bit more.Damn.

Chennai was next.See,all this time when the country was thinking about black dogs and terrorists bombing,the city didnt get much attention.Madras was trying all the best to stay clean,ensure a proper city life for all its non-hindi speaking people.They were happy with their own little city,beaches and Rajnikanth.But they still didnt get attention.Veerapaan tried to get them some,but it didnt help much.I dont remember who it was.Jayalalitha or Karunnanidhi? If u break it up...Madras,becomes "Mad-ras"cals.This was good enough for them to change the name.Chennai.Everyone was happy.Rajnikanth celebrated by doing some Tamil item numbers with his stunts.But they still suffer from the complex that they aint getting an attention.Shit.

Bengaleru was more incident based.Bang-a-lore.The IT hub and the asia's pub capital had more people banging each other wherever they could.On the streets.In the pubs.Inside offices.In cars.Under lamposts.Everywhere.People became too much horny.Cases of rape and eve-teasing increased.When the people were done with,they started raping dogs.Of ccourse,not many in the democracy liked it.They tried Bengore.Blore.Bangy,naaah!Ye ye,I still have no clue why they kept the name as Bengaleru.Maybe its for the firangs.Maybe they get turned on.

I wonder why Chandigarh's name still remains same.Chandigarh literally means to have the "moon in ur ass" when transalated to hindi.The religious clerics are still cool with that.And so is the CBI.Or why Luck-now or Luck-no is still Lucknow inspite of Lady Luck real hard to make out there.
And then Hyderabad.Oh wtf!Their name hasnt changed.Fucken Hyderabadis!Scratch-scratch!

Some things in this world are strange.Most people are strangers.But then people do seem strangers when you are strange yourself.I sometimes think whether governemnts do not have any other work other than changing names of cities.Would that really help in our social ..caste....religious problems.They talk about harmony when all they really do is create a furore about which name actually suits our cities.Ha!

Ok,I have no clue why i wrote this post.This is as meaningless as my job itself.This is too amateurish and too worthless.And its my secret way of requesting the goverment to focus more on the people.