Tuesday, November 06, 2007

"Broken hearts I can forgive,....Broken dreams,Never"------Hugh Mcleod (in one of his posts)

Eh eh eh!!..
This comes after a certain reconciliation with someone after I was bitched all-around-about by her.almost two fuckin years back.No,not love,in case ur getting a wrong picture.Heh!I mean friend-friend types.Well,did it feel good?She felt good for sure..'cuz she told me so.She even asked me if I hated her...maybe if I hated her,I wouldnt fuckin' talk to her.So why fuckin' bother.Maybe my mojo's working,especially after ignoring a certain large number of people this time in Calcutta.Maybe,some of them are really sorry.Maybe,most of them are shit.Personally I prefer the third option.Anwayy,I was unelatedly diplomatic unlike the reconciled person.
So,it aint really the blues anymore.I'm happy quite a bit.Life aint a bitch really,its a drag.A long cigarette drag,coughlingly soothing.So.It all feels wierd a bit when you travel down that nostalgia lane and realize things you've experienced and missed out.Missed out,eh-eh,huh,my fingers were never enough to count 'em.I still look back on the days and I see.....Some of us,sitting on a rooftop drinking and doing the pot.Another 3 years back,I remember a close friend calling up my schoolboy-crush at midnight and people discussing career options.Rewind a bit more,I see school,I see frolicked immaturity,I see sweaty post-football games,I see the gawking at the uniformed schoolgirls,I see a friendshipped-gang that exists no more.Look back a couple of more years,there were middle aged teachers who were suddenly really hot,there were exams and punishments,birthday parties and colourful streamers,notebooks with blue lines and pencils,maybe crayons too,the family gatherings and ooooh! the fun-animals and the circus shows.Stroll along more,I find the little water bottles and plastic tiffin boxes,my first day at school and I cried,my over-used books,children races and sports,montessori,the children who were taught not to swear.Most learnt it,some didnt,one definitely didnt.
I see my family..the old uncosmopolitan joint family.And suddenly,nothing's there anymore.
And then,I see her.No,no...u're surely mistaken,her,I meant.The crush on her was real.That narrow lane filled with dry leaves,beside the dirty pond changed my life some many years back.
If you were me,you would know what I'm talking about.But you aint me.
Its been years since then.But at 23,we've moved on.
I wonder if it was all worth growing up.Ha!Maybe,never never Neverland.
But at 23,everything's a fuckin' shit aint it..?? Eh eh eh??!!

13 comments:

dreamy said...

lovely post nunkuda!

somehow this winter winter feeling gets me all nostalgic about my childhood, tiffin boxes fancy erasers and box rickshaws! :)

coffee stain said...

i can't remember my childhood.... maybe because i never had one or the time for one...i grew up too fast...saw the world for what it really was too early...in a way its sad but its made be tough and the way i am..... the best part is i can adapt anywhere with anyone.....
but "that" voice.... i still gets chill down my spines....sultry voice man

Random Doodler said...

i like the sound when hawai sandals walk ondry leaves. And komla lebu, i love komla lebu.

onnesha said...

tch!tch!

~Moo-lah Buz!nezzz~ said...

@dreamy....thanks!!!

@roy...i cant say ive had a childhood i've loved,but it does have memories.....!!..and ohh ye ye,sultry voice,i remember it!!!.. :-P

@random D....u love walking on komla lebu's?????!!!

@onn....tch-tch...well yes!

Llama said...

Lovely. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy and goosebumpy and nostalgic suddenly. Things change so much. Groups brak up. Shops shut down. And suddenly you feel not-so-young anymore.

I agree.. at 23, everything's a fuckin' shit!!

Llama said...

*break (not "brak")

Santanu....... said...

aww.....nunkuda........14 years in a co-ed school....wat do u expect???I certainly liked the part bout the teachers..:-).....but not so much when the same teachers left gaping marks of cane on ur back......its all mirage.....and we all ran for it....!!!!!!

darkling said...

its not love ehhhh?????hee hee hee

Anonymous said...

Childhood is illusion. I wonder why we have to spend only 15 years as a children. Being grown up sucks sometimes but it has advantages like you can drink BEER. :D

Thanks for reminiscence

Anonymous said...

I suddenly remembered the number of people I ignore when I come to cal these days...

Anonymous said...

arrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


when will you update the bloggggggg???????? :D

dreamy said...

oh, that was me btw..:D