my TiT bit oF liFe.....!!!

I stood there.At the edge.I glanced at the whole city of mysore.A panoramic 360 degrees view.I have been closer to death.But now I was enjoying it. A gust of wind hit my face. The instructor was talking to me.I kept nodding but I couldnt hear a thing. All I heard was the wind talking to me.

“Baba,don’t jump.Baatha peye jaabe.” Someone said I think. I was on top of the 6th stair and I was about to jump and prove my legs were strong enough at this age. “naa ami laafaabo” .No one heard me,I guess. I jumped. By the time I had submitted myself to a certain force called gravity,everyone had returned to work.In the kitchen,cutting vegetables or spicing up the extra spiced up food.In the drawing room, people going over the finance and accounts for the umpteenth time.I fell on the groud with a thud which only I heard. My right leg ached but I tried acting normal.I looked around to see if anyone had actually watched my jump.Everyone was too busy. From the corner of my eyes,I saw Dadu smiling at me with his pan stained lips...as if applauding my brave effort.I gave a sheepish smile and acknowledged it.

“You need to keep the rope between your legs when you jump.”I fakingly nodded.I suddenly missed my Dadu.He was no more.I really missed him.I looked to my left.I saw the Mysore palace and the on going preparations for the big night of dussera.Its big here.But Calcutta is bigger. A lot!

Kane said “ Lets have beer this ashtami..ill get it”… Rahul and me and a bunch of other guys readily agreed. We met up at Suddho’s place.and then 8 of us drunk beer like we never had a tomorrow! It was the first time I was drinking during pujos.But it was fun. Hashi hated alcohol then,now he’s a big drunkard . Ive drunk last year too.And this year too. This is the first time im outside Calcutta spending pujo.I think.It sucks,trust me.People say “dude u aint missing it,cuz pujo aint good this year.Its become more of a money business and competition. The festive essence is slowly dying out.” But but but…….. I refuse…to agree….Its pujos, goddamnit…It’s the darn atmosphere….the feeling of being with friends….the feeling of forgetting tension….the feeling of being with people and meeting new ones.
The dhaak beats.Majestic.
The pujo insensce-tic smell.
The lightings.
……and those mega sized pandals which would put a Taj mahal to shame.

Many of my friends are suddenly back in Calcutta this year spending pujo.I wanted to come.Something at the back of my pea-sized brain said “ go go go ..u daft prick”……But I always tend to do the wrong stuffs at the right time.And this time was no exception.

“Don’t hold the railings of the platform when u let go”.I nodded again as if listening hard.I looked down.People below suddenly looked like ants.And I felt like the selfish giant.Someone even thumbsup-ed me.I looked at the horizon.The pulse shot up.The heartbeat increased as if I were in love.The love of thrill and the fear of death.

I suddenly thought about many people. All those who have been and still are a part of my life.People whom I have betrayed .People whom I had hurt.I wanted to apologize.And thank to those who have been with me. Life was suddenly so strange.Stranger than the Aura Boreolis or the Bermuda triangle.I guess that’s why we are so complicated. I realized how bad He messed it up.

“Be calm.Breathe in deep and breathe out.Spread out ur arms.Enjoy ur jump.”….I spread my hands out turned back and opened my watch and told him “ here hold this”. I looked down into the 150 fucken feet abyss of hollowness ,spread my arms and and and ……I jumped.

The world stood still.
The flight of birds.
Moments of absolute silence.
A dream reality!
Weightlessness.

Whoooooooosh!

A perfect union with God!!!!


“…….there is no pain you are receiving. A distant ship floats on the horizon……Your lips move but I cant hear what u say………………………..Now I’ve got that feeling once again ,I cannot explain……….I have become ……comfortably numb…….”……Pink Floyd……..




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