FUCK OFF!!!!


:-)

How Calvin influenced me!

To the one who asked me to blog yesterday.
2.30am.A cluster of dead-spring pupil leaves were being burnt on the roadside of the Bombay-Pune highway.The smoke which rose up created a mystic twirling cover on the road.And My pick-up Indica simply unbotheringly drove thorugh it.The smoke did blind me a bit but it somehow opened me to thinking about my life,and I havent yet stopped thinking about it yet.

Karma says every human has their fate pre-determined,pre-written in a pupil leaf which is preserved through the sands of time and which definitely depends on the deeds of the past life.But there are these finite number of fate-situations which means that the destinies of certain individuals clash and it even maintains that there is at least a single duplicate to everything an individual possess.Fingerprint. life-lines. Handwriting. Death-time. Birth-time. bruise-marks.even the DNA structure. IF this is true where does this leave us 'UNIQUE' people.Or being on the selfish note,where does this leave me.
I have no clue.As the people of Nahuroto put it "Nofuckinclue"

So if im supposed to be spaceman Spiff and go into the universe killing every l'il-big unearthly alien and searching for the eternal truth and how its linked to my fate,it would certainly open up a new oppurtunity to explore the mysticity related to my life.but alas!my pupil leaf is torn.Thats what the cards and my palm-lines tell me.So lets see,what would i do about my future...my career...my interests..my love-life...my entertainment...my bli-baa-bhoo's.....
I can turn into a tattoo artist...use the l'il bit of the artistic skills i have... and especially since i loved the life of the guy-who-did-my-tattoo.Its tax-free.Small.Un-complicted.Interesting.Kinda prosperous.And settle down in Bombay or Calcutta or in Athens...perform body art on heavenly bodies.
And then when my artistic skills have been honed enough,i can just take over the role of cartoonist BIll Watterson and create calvin and hobbes on a dialy newspaper.Ive always been influenced by Calvin...its like the comic strip has always been my favorite before Simpsons,Southpark,Peanuts,Batool-de-great,Asterix or The Archies.He's just an year younger to me.But we think on the same wavelength.Thats what entreats me.Everything has a life in it.
He had Hobbes,I had Jack.
He had Susie,I had Reshmi.
He's gross,but so am i,i think.
Pestering childhood.Wierd Imagination.He's 5.Im 23.Sigh!
And when im done with my job of being a cartoonist,maybe i can turn into a pirate like Jack Sparrow and sail the high seas in the Caribbean.
Sometimes I wonder how much did Calvin and Hobbes inscribe into the figment of my imagination.And why?Why did Calvin ever create Spaceman Spiff?Why does he think all adults are alien?Why does he think evil-monsters reside under his bed?And is Hobbes is alter-ego?......I strikingly find similarity in Calvin's personality.
It absofuckinglutely sucks to be normal,cool and hep...for me being wierd,uncool and savvy is more fun!
But then,he's still 5,and im 23 and still growing.
The second sigh!

"...the child,Calvin,is both king and keeper of his own realm,and he can be very choosy about the company he keeps.Of course ,this exclusivity only provokes many gown-ups into trying to regain the serendity of youth for themselves,to,in effect retrieve the irretrievable.A desperate few do things that later land them in the Betty Ford Center.The rest of us,more sensibly,read Calvin and Hobbes "
- Garry Trudeau

But at the end of all....I still go to my IT industrialised office in my pick-up Indica...with my ipod in my ears.....wearing shades....and still looking at the sky...and wondering what shit i should give about my future....

just one change!!!

Why does love have to be all complicated and tough? Why cant it be like eating a pizza or going to sleep or going to the movies? Like I see the perfect Indian romantic movies and I wonder "is this what really happens"..cuz it doesnt.Never.These movies gross me out.And they still sell.
And families tend to have problems with everything.Different caste...class... race...color...creating dramas at home about relationships.I really wonder why people cant just "let it go.."

Everyone seems to be bothered about the love lives of a certain nephew...cousin..brother and all the blood which links them up.Like there are aunts in families...certain aunts....who tend to be involved and bitch about the life of every other next-generation family member and probably influence their parents.
"Ria,You shouldnt be going out with that guy,Ive heard he drinks".....
"Abhi,that girl is from a different caste,our family doesnt approve it"...
"Tina,that guy aint good in studies,and he's those Hippie-kind" ....
And then you have the parents.Ha!And im talking about families of guys who are like 20+ and pretty much able to get a grip on their lives.

Fuckin peeeeses me offf!!! I really write this with a certain kind-o-hatred since im tired of hearing every other friend of mine having a problem with their love-lives at home. I'm glad I dont have to deal with all this bullshit! Cuz i think my family knows pretty well about the reply they'll get from me if they EVER talk to me like that.

Just the Weekend fun!!!

All that we have accomplished......all that we have done..... all that we have heard..... all that we have seen ...... getting high on life.....getting high on whatever we see.... cuz we live together and our dreams!!!!

twenty-frikkin third!!!!

Yaay! I kinda liked my budday!!!!! and after a fucking long time too!!!Lots of unexpected people called me up the whole day!!!....but thanks guys!! really really!!!And damn i love surprises!!!....Lots of them ...lots and lots....like the office b'day bumps....mom's cake...Rahul's call from Montreal....Sandy's unexpected cake-splat...Venky and mine 3 am beer party....Rishi-sudi's b'day present.....Ritu's call even tho she had low balance,I think....Ashwin,Kuni and Biju's surprise visit from Chennai....damn!I love u guys!!!But the fact that im 23 is still pretty much blankly staring at my life now!!! Im twentyfuckingthree!!!!Ive done what normally most people do....but i aint happy,man!!!...I think and i think again what if the soothsayer's forecast was correct and i die by the time im 25!!!(Rishi and Sudi wud definitely go to hell)...damn! i got just 700 odd days!!! So what do i do?...I plan!

In any case i live beyond the age of 25 and defy cancer...the-accident-by-fate...or suicidal mid-life(??!!) crisis....and Miss Ab!Well....i'd probabaly get married at 30 .....be a father by the time im 31-32...get divorced by 35....go for a trip to Europe and Africa at 36....be a casino-cheat in Vegas and elude the cops...open my own bar-chain by the time im 40...continue for 10 years...and donate everything to charity and take up sanyas in the Himalayas!!!..Easy huh!!!And they say planning is tough!!!...foooh!!Ohhh and im a lot into Karma nowadays...I wanted to write more.....but i like reading more nowadays....especially about people's personal life....it mite be a bit voyeur-ish....but then i live my life through others....feels good...feels sooo darn good!!!!.....

Happy birthday again!

Ummm.... I met this poor family on the streets... the dad, the mom and their kid ... well , they
appeared to be poor. And yes , they were being shunned by most of the other by-passers...

I even gave them some money.. enough money,i think ...( no,i wasnt drunk, :-P ) ...i mean...I dunno if it was self-guilt or something..... but u know that inner voice...that gut feeling...which tells you.....

Oh well...i dunno if im going to the heavens as a good man..... but ill definitely go as a better one according to my conscience,i hope......

Aloha !

ohh well...first things first....!
There are like a million things i wanna do right now.I mean right at this moment.Like get
H.G.Wells Time machine and travel back or forward in time. Or probably just shave my head off and increase my beer belly so that i look cool (???!!)..... And then there's the eternal quest of
learning and knowing the purpose of my goddamn existance. But lets say 'nevermind' tothat!....Have u ever worked in a night shift?Well...some people say its cool...some say its
dangerous....some,like me,say "I dont care".I do care now!Like my mama nevaa said that "...life is like is box of chocolates..You nevaa know what u'r gonna get"...nor did a girl ever temme " You had me at hello" but i think i did say " show me the money " once.... but that doesnt make me a green paper-ed freak...yes!..everyone is crazy after money....i was too...until i realized that special thing.
Its not about how much money u get...its like how u get it....

You can either be a guy working in an multinational company....working his ass out actually....or
the CEO of a company busy with his meetings,conferances et al......earning in lakhs and
millions..and ultimately succumbing to the mid-life crisis and ending up buying that second hand Porche with half his life's money...

OR.....

You can be George Clooney and mastermind Casino loots in Las Vegas....get chased by police and
then end up in Mexico...and live like a Baron Rothschild..and party in Rio every week....or sell
some guns and drugs and spend the life in a prison in solitary confinement...

OR.....

You can just listen to your father...study in some hotshot college....do the Post Graduation from a firang university...get some scholarships and some certificates....get nominated for some
international award...earn some big bucks....and then get married and have kids.....

Or.....

You can just end up like Debanuj Chakraborti with a meagre salary and crib about every second of your life...and still tell everyone "Life's my drug ...the world's my addiction"(???!!!)

(Ive always wanted to write this)

Random thoughts....

Everything seems dead!!!.... Everyfuckingthing!! And absofuckinglutely messed up too.Whats wrong with the world!!!

The high.....the love....the care....those l'il moments in parties or on the streets....the lights of festivals.... everything's fading out.....

The void in the space is increasing.... and i wonder whats gonna happen when it finally bursts.......

and screw u again,missy Ab!!! :(

ohh..and i wish ya all the best... :-) ...

MY ORKUT STATS!!!!

80% Trusty <-------- :-(

90% Cool <--------- Ha! WTF!!!!

80% Sexy < --------- this tops it alll..... HAHAHAHA!!!!

(courtsey: www.orkut.com)

...and she still says im a fool,ya!

Well,there I was,searching for my Pandoras Box which had driven so much into curiosity that I was even prepared to quit my job and start exploring the Straits of Gibraltar.But then imagination took over me.And thats when I completely lost it.The way the cookie crumbled,vegetation on the Alps, aliens using nano-technology to invade earth - I saw it all. They say " The human brain is the child of imagination".I disagreed.Imagination is our own world.Our own Moo- Custard-space.We mould it,shred it,crush it and ultimately puzzle it down to some obscure form or the other.It is probably one of God's usual bad jokes just to cover up the perfectionism of the human brain.
Whatever!
Ever since I barely managed to reach the mid of my college life,my mind had taken an absolutely different turn.Rationalism gave way to idealism,dreams conquered practicality.I dunno if it was the excess booze or the hilly dope , but it did add on.Like the times when u feel the oceanic waves inside your head hit you so hard that it knocks you out.The few months after college introduced me to an entirely wierd bunch of people who drastically influenced my thinking on life.Well,in our world,I realized,I was special but in an abnormal way.Sraanda Shu had once told me "Whats the point of living and dreaming, when you can't solve your maths"
Yes,The maths was tough.I needed a job,some money to live without my parent's cash (of course) and some kind of reconcilliation.I got both the formers,but the latter...I kinda let it go. Never came back. It was regrettable,but inevitable,wasn't it?
A year later,2007.When the wolrd prepares to counter terrorism,global warming,conflict diamonds,religious issues,Columbian drugs,Cuban cigars and asteroids striking earth in a decade, you know what I say. And I say "phuck eet!".Insensitive,heartless,selfish,fuckless sucker,am I,ya?
Well,yes,I have lost it. And I have no clue what to do about it.

Arrey rukh jaa re Bandeh!

BLACK FRIDAY

Well..... The movie, it certainly shook me up a bit and definitely impressed me.But i wasnt moved.
The boldness of the film-maker to include the real-names of those behind the Bombay blasts and the potrayal of some of the scenes in the movie were really impressive.

But...its too long.....its too documentary-ish.....and some irrelavant scenes.But a good and shocking watch nevertheless.

Is it,ya??

Well,probably the only place in Pune i really liked was the Osho Ashraam...Really nice and serene...ohh and the hot firangs....heehee....There's sooo much to rite about my life now....but the space.....u know what i say.." fuck it"....... and i watched "you've got mail" again ..... all i can say is " heehee" ... it does bring back some wierd memories,ya.... :-) ....

And Dada too good khelche..... am proud...really!!!


Ohh...and please read this .... I love the insignificant moo talk like this .......

"This is excellent…read it throughout … The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington mid-term chemistry exam. The answer by one student to the bonus question was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this
theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" "

Har Har!!!!! I loooooooooooooooowed the last part!!!!

Light a Candle !

Spread the word (even if u think it doesnt help )


http://lightamillioncandles.com/


Watch the Ad!

Love Confessions!

ok,Cupid,u son of a bitch....u cant screw up my life like the way u've been doing since i was in nursery!!!... I wont be a sucker and drink up the love-philtre ... but i will think about it ....

I know its nice to give my heart out to someone...... but sometimes it feels much better this way,i guess!!!!

Im reading Salman Rushdie's Fury now..... some way to spend the Lover's day,huh!!?? and just dying to eat the chicken bucket at Roy's place!!!!!!...

The Giggle-loop and God's Cannibus!!!!!

Okk,What if ..... the great one did smoke up like the way we do...sitting stuffing the dope into the bong or just passing around the joint ....sitting with us,in a circle,cleaning up the weed ... as if we are having one of those-l'il-round-table-conferances with the Almighty ... talking about those smoke-pot time serious issues like Global Warming or even the Brad-Angie hook up!!!
But thats like ...'what if..."...

1) Nations would have Pink Floyd or DreamTheatre numbers as their anthems....like Comfortably Numb for Finland or whaatveaaa .....

2)Smoke-Pollution would be so much more meaningful .....

3)People wud just breathe and get high....no need to roll up joints .... no need to remove the
seeds ... and stems ..... or take the trouble of lighting it up ... and just like shouting out
"Geronimoooo, .... "
and u breathe in mary-jane ...

4)Forests would be much green ... lush ... (okk,a bit dry too) and importantly resourceful!!!

5) Painkillers like Asprins would face fierce .... probably Real fierce competition from weed med
tablets .....

6)The third world african countries might just rule the world ......

7)More importantly,LEgalized marijuana .... A perfect reunioun with the heaven and the earth ...... God and mankind .... the herbal holy drug and brain .....!!!!

God,dude,join the crowd!!!Amen!



and for the humans.....Man made booze....God made Weed....now who do U trust..!!!?

The giggle-loop is so true....The glasses stacked on top-o-each other....the supressed
giggle...looping up into the shaking beer mug tower....and then crashing onto the
ground.....eventually ending up in the laughter-slaughter incident.....Chaos Theory,is it??...

(refer to the British Comedy series, Coupling:season1,episode 3 for the Giggle-loop!!! and watch the movie "ButterFly Effect for "chaos Theory" ..... others can just turn on Star Tv and watch those hindi soaps starting with "Kkkkk.... ")


This peice of news......lol <----Gross!!!!
Ohhh....and i wanna go to the Roger Waters concert....but sigh!!!.............

Whats wrong with......??????

The Big Mac is the greatest . Sandy and my trip to the MacD’s…heehee…that’s what we called it.
One Maharaja burger, four Chicken McGrill Burgers,one fillet-o-fish, one chicken Mexican wrap,2 large cokes, and two Large Fries. People looked as if we were refugees from Somalia.And we weren’t even on weed. I felt like Jughead!!! Ya,felt good.Real good!

I wonder why girls smell so good.They are like nice-smelling mermaids in Sahara. Road,office,neighborhood…doesn’t matter…..i feel like just holding them..and smelling the fragnance outta them all day long.( and esp if she’s one of those silky-long-haired ones… :-P)…that particular whiff of air is like the most sweetest smell ever on earth.Nothing comes close to it…. Roses,dandelions,orchids …blah blah….Nothing!

And ill freak out…if I get one more mail about some guy-having-pancreas-cancer or about some-raped-girl in Bloohoo-land…..and im asked to forward it …supposedly for Help or whatevaaaa!....cuz if u still don’t get it……refer to the oxford dictionary….find the most used four-letter starting with F…and add an ‘off’ to it. I guess u r still dumb if u have no idea what im talking about.

just the ol' frigging blues!!!

Okk,I know whats going wrong. I think I do. But how does it help. Doesn’t help anymore. No one gives a shit. No one. Im really dreamy nowadays . And she came in my dreams yet again. But how does it help. Doesnt help anymore.
I bet u aint understanding a thing im saying.
Trust me,someday,when u start dreaming….u will too.

zzzZZZZzzzz......!!!! (shh..im actually awake !)

“You sleeptalk???....you even sleepwalk???!!!..God!..u r a freak!!!!......”

Okk, I do both….walk very rarely…but I do it….and talk…almost everyday!!!!...Well….i really dunno what I talk about. But I do. And im not really concerned about it ..

“its considered to be a sickness..u better do something about it”

ooooo……im ‘scaaaaared’…and im sooo affected and im soo gonna die or something..Bullshit!).
Ohh…I love watching dreams.I think that’s what makes me sleeptalk more…and its not that bad…at least ….its not as gross as people who drool in their sleep….at least im capable of having a normal conversation even in my sleep,unlike other certain nonsense people….at least im more interesting than most people!!!...hahahaha!!!..i live my life through dreams…and I loooooooooowe it!!!!

Okk, miss ..u win! Ive been a dumbfuck…but I don’t wanna lose u….i really like ya… can I have one last chance…just one???? I promise I wont fuck up….. Pweeeeze!!! : -)

And Miss Ab. ….fuck u,seriously!!.. you aint my friend anymore…..ive never felt like this about anyone…the way u have avoided the issue,where I should not be even involved( but ka-ching! I am) ..i feel u are just another high class wannabe bitch!!!...now please don’t ask me why..!!!!!

And Syriana is too slow a movie …..!

TIA......This is Africa!!!!!!!!!!

BLOOD DIAMOND

Ok…whew!....just watched Blood Diamond… Its really been a long time…I watched a movie as nicely scripted as this one.Li Cap was at his usual best again. Watched it.Loved it. Really really touching. And makes u keep wondering.Awesome again!

Im coming back to the stars......!!!

Im weirdly happy nowadays. Like just sitting on the office couch,doing nothing.Or drinking beer and smoking pot on my terrace all alone and looking at the stars and imagining stuffs. But still im suddenly missing so much. College, home, school, Calcutta, Park Street, Salt lake FD park, my broken computer chair et al.Is this what they call a change for the better. I went to a Binesh’s sister’s wedding reception last day. The food was good, the booze was good.Somewhere I saw in some Travel Channel that in a wedding,if the food is good,everything’s good. I think im growing thin again.I wanna grow fat. Somehow fat people are more cooler.And I wanna eat too.


I generally don’t read forwarded mails. And I don’t even know why I found this interesting.

Equality of Poverty:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).
Opposition MP's stage a walkout.
Left parties and Mamata Banerjee call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about “Equality of Poverty” among ants and grasshoppers.Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the “Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Institutions & in Govt Services.The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden' Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.Many years later...
The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in Silicon Valley .
100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ..
And Indian politicians still complain of brain drain.”

The corporates and me.....i hate it!!!!

Im soooooo fake!!!!

The batch......aaahhh!!!...