Pujos and Fuck-ups

Shoptomi:Rains and Beer.
Oshtomi:Beer.
Nobomi: more Beer.
Doshomi:Beef and beer.

Calcutta's been really fun.Pujo was ...erm,again......usual.
Calcutta's population bubble has finally burst.Crowd's been Really pathetic.
Maddox is pathetic.Too many young fuck-ups this Pujos.
No Ballygunge Cultural or Durgabaari.
Onjoli for the first time in the last eight years.
Beer again.A wild drunk evening fuck-up at Rahul's place.
People getting pissed on me.Fuck those people.Haha.
Shubho Bijoya.

Talk about cultural shocks and the fuck-ups??.....Thats me.
Thank you.

Isnt it great to be happy at everything ,laugh and say.....

"What the Fuck????"

:-)

I'm the un-kewl uncle.
I wish I didn't really grow old,this fast.
Maybe slow down the process a bit,like apply the brakes,feel the wind,grow old bit-by-bit.
But I just don't even wanna fuck-drop and die either.
Sigh!

This is going to be a long....really long week for obvious and unobvious reasons.

" In the plane,Tyler Durden turns to Jack.

TYLER: Wanna switch seats?
JACK: No, I'm not sure I'm the man for that particular job.
TYLER: An exit-door procedure at 30.000 feet. Mm-hmm. The illusion of safety.
JACK: Yeah, I guess so.
TYLER:You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
JACK:So you can breathe.
TYLER:Oxygen, gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, we're taking giant, panicked breaths...Suddenly you become euphoric, docile, you accept your fate.....

Tyler points to passive faces on the drawn figures, from the INSTRUCTION CARD.

TYLER: Emergency water landing, 600 miles per hour. Blank faces - calm as Hindu cows..

Jack laughs..........................."

I remember this scene from a famous cult-movie,everytime I travel in a plane and I chuckle to myself,when they show the emergency procedures.

I was in Bangalore last weekend,celebrating something,I do not really know.Lately,I have been tripping and living like a dumb-shit hippie.Of course,with long wavy curly hairs,late afternoon tooth-brushing,alternate day baths,monthly shaves,double t-shirts and torn clothes.
I had an air-hostess fart right on my face...I went to a great pub,learnt some shit.....I had a girl tell me how easy and gullible we,*men*,were...I got inspiration from a guy who's really young....I was mindfucked before being happy all over again...I missed one of my really close friends,who couldnt make it.The trip was really good,considering that I did not really go to re-discover myself or take up religion all-over again.But it was fun.

Just a day before this trip even happened,I really had this urge of leaving everything.It wasnt a moodswing,maybe a bit mindfuckedness.It was a shit serious feeling.I suddenly didnt want to go to Bangalore and also cancel my Calcutta trip.I wanted to leave my job.I wanted to tell everyone what I felt about them.And I wanted to scream at all those people who say I have a great life. I wanted to destroy something beautiful and I wanted to pick up a fist-fight with some certain-people.I wanted to shut out everything.I wanted to live and be happy and free.I wanted everything to be colourful around me. Everything. Two years back,I was a different man. I used to be cool,I used to be fascinated by techno-gadgets,I hated The Beatles and adored Ozzy,I thought Vodka was bliss.Its strange,how things and people influence our lives.
And it is very colourful now.Today,I can,in five secs,name ten people who care for me .There are loads of things I can do.Life's so meaningful and beautiful.I have been motivated,inspired.Its a positive feeling and suddenly everything's so happening.
So,if Mr.Roy calls me up just to temme that he's concerned for me when I'm depressed,I'll ask him to light up two joints for me and smoke it up.Just for the old times sake,matey!

Anwayy,signing off from this blog from Pune....and Happy Pujos,everyone! :-)

"......Well, your fingers weave quick minarets
Speak in secret alphabets
I light another cigarette
Learn to forget, learn to forget ......................................"

(This song is torturing me so much that I'm enjoying every line of it.....)

Ok,its really supposed to be exciting when you finally get internet at home.Especially after you get bored of using it at office where half of the chatting softwares are blocked and Orkut becomes an all time low.Work increases.This-that.
Well,it hasnt changed much.Orkut is still an all time low.Saturation sets in.I dont even bother to reply to scraps.Instead I've been researching with Facebook and Skype.And trying to explore my options in a stock-market career.Internet aint all that bad.And yes,the liberty of reading some really beautiful blogs at your own sweet will.
Maybe that the global warming has been messing up with my little brain. I find it really shocking what humans have done to the planet.We still sit in AC's ...keep the bulb on...and cut down trees to make way for human settlements.Save the green,save our planet.Lets peace out and do something about it.This is what I've been thinking for a long time.
Anywayy,life hasnt been that bad for a change.Some trips are lined up.There has been some weed,gallons of beer,hitch-hiking on trucks,rock 'n roll as usual,cough and benadryl,a bit of shopping maybe and some corporate whore-awards.And then the icing on the cake???
The two week homecoming vacation.There are whole loads of stuff that has been planned up already.
Brace up people,pull down ur socks,loosen your collars cuz I'm comin' home and I'm excited.Pujo is never bad and will never be better!!!!.....

Cheerz!

It was one of those discussions.

Yes,where words just seem to fade away.Go into the horizon.Through the ears.Into all the air around you.And you never seem to catch them.Its not withering.Its just the moodswings and the mindfuckingly drift.Everything seems slow down,sounds become clear.People around you just move far away,the background seems to be distant.The one-sweat-drop trickling behind the ears and the hum.The hum inside the brain.The ringing of the nerves.All that you can follow is the swirling trance of the nicotine smoke.

And then with one blink of the eye,you come back.

Back from the thoughts that has been reverbating and eating you up slowly.Where nothing else matters.Where one thought leads to another.The another leads to idea.The idea brings you to a sea of coloured judgements,beliefs,internal arguements,opinions et al.At the end,its just a myriad haphazard delirium of imaginative figments rushing in you.A euphoric disorientation is what you have been turned into.

And I just apologized for being a bit scatty unmindful .Thats what happened to me.

Anywayy,Mangalore trip was good.I dont feel like talking about it though.

It was just some nostalgic catching up.

3 friends.

Stories of life and the high seas and bosses.

The beach.

A port and a blinking-lighthouse.

Tasty fish-food.

Delicious local chicken dish.

11 litres of beer.

Packets of smokes.

A doctor,a sailor and a corporate whore.

A really long Volvo bus journey.

The Doors,Dylan and Anjan Dutta.

We kinda had it all.The decade felt good but it had passed.

Ohh,and one, ahem..... me!!, trying to be a Captain Jack Sparrow wannabe.

Dope-times again!!!

This will be more of a personal admittance post than those usual cribbing ones.

Ok,life actually doesnt suck,I make it suck.I am 2-fuckin-3,but it feels like 40.I've been feeling this terribly old for the past few weeks.The way I live my life,no more partying,just reading newspapers in the morning,going to office,read some books about the world,plan travel trips,drinking beer with friends and chatting about good ol' times,no more getting drunk,no more doing those fuck-up nonsense stuff.I might look 19-20 or less as some people say.Mentally Ive become old.But I'm glad it didnt really take much time to realize that.For most oldies,its still abhi-bhi-mein-jawaan-hoon at 50.They party,try to go to discs,clubs,put muscles on and watch cool hindi flicks.I've visited virtually all pubs and clubs in this city and I liked it in the beginning.The dancing,the little highs and then the madly-shots and the dancing and lights again.Now it aint cool anymore.Adda, and not just in bengali, is any day way more fun. Heehee.See I am just old.Just fucking old.Youth goes,huh.Hehe!

And lets get back to farewells again.September aint going good.Maybe its wake me up when September ends,but thats not the frikkin case.Three are leaving.Three of those I really do consider friends,as in the proper close ones.It'll be a bit depressing without them.
Tinky's moving to Delhi to pursue her exciting rich- journo career,probably will miss her the most,especially after all the nonsense we've done over the years and years and years.
But heh-heh!!
Mad Kuni's going to Dubai for doing something,which I dont really know.Maybe,she will try to get richer.And then accompany me to Vegas and open up a casino.
And then Shibu's pushing off to London to hump Brit and Scottish babes.Ok,for higher studies along with his babe,Taps.But my nigga brother has been a fucked up asshole to me.And a really great guy.
And of course,I will be road-tripping off to Mangalore today with Rahul.The trip's supposed to be fun,but I'm sure it'll be hell-tiring before I even reach there.I always prefer planes. :-P

Maybe,I need a girlfriend.I'm tired of being single and trying to flirt around with girls.Maybe,I need to settle down and meet someone beautiful and get serious in my love-life.Maybe,Rishi was right.Also about the getting-out-of-bed part.So,mossad,wink-wink,CIA's getting back!!!
And someday,I will get a flame-hot girlfriend and show-off to everyone like some of the people I know. I will also turn into a proper snobby superbitch then.Thats what most people do after they fall in love with someone hot.
Haha!
I'm laughing 'cuz no matter what I say,I always end up cribbin'..haha!!

Cant really say much.Nothings happening.Not even new girls.The hot ones have boyfriends.The sweet ones have too many friends.The fair ones have moustaches.The deer-eyed are dumb South Indians.And the rest of them are too much fat or are too much dark circled.The one I like refuses to talk.This Indian generation I guess is dry.Its the girl-famine,comes every six seconds and then kills the mind-Cupid.Of course,not many girls fall for a short stout guy.Of course.But nevaamind!
So nothing's really happening.Not even much of Pune.Just looking forward to my Mangalore trip,maybe a Bangalore one,Goa's looking bleak and then the great Calcutta homecoming.
I wonder if saying farewell,is really hard,you know.There is this someone,who's leaving for some firang land in some days.And its kinda been hard,telling how much you'll miss them and then suddenly having nothing to say.You can't cry,'cause you are supposed to be a guy with hard emotions.Not that I havent cried.But its just that its against the rules.Its hard.Farewell's never been easy for me.Like leaving Calcutta.Leaving college.Leaving four years of shooters,bloopers,high-fliers,kick-asses.Leaving stupid-funny twelve school years.Farewell aint cool anymore.
And someone please tell an undrunk twenty three person is too old to dance with dumbfucks.Anyway,I got a party to attend.Lets all turn fake and put on our masks.

I just deleted my last post.I felt fake and unabsorbed.I rambled on like a meaningless human being.Nevuhhmind.
Ok,not much has been happening these days.Except that I've been getting weird goosebumps for unknown reasons.I'm not in love.I've also been spending my time smiling at myself for some wierd reason.No,I'm not in love,I think.
And also the fact that I have been having these aweful electric headaches for the past week.When booze,smokes never helps,Saridon always does.Its not only about being addicted.Its like a fuel which keeps you going on.I've also been putting on weight and a tummy,with which I've kind of fallen in love with.
I'm also paying too much asshole tax to everyone.Its too much bloo-blah about how big an asshole I am and not realizing it.Nevuhhmind again.
Yes,there's not much happening these days.Not much happening to blog about it.If any mudderfuckin miserable thinh happens to me,I'll certainly write about it.
Hahaahahaha!!Now go....

People around me fuckin' piss me off.Yes,they do.Man,I'm getting high on movies nowadays.
I remember sometime at this time,a year back,I changed.I changed almost everything about me.Something changed me the day I left Calcutta.Somethings do change,after all.Some people do change with them.
I changed the way I look at people.I changed the way I behave with them.Talk.Walk.Fake looks.Fake happiness.Miserable miserable me.I changed everything.I became dark green,blood red...and turned into a useless piece of shaite.
Never-fuckin-mind all that.
So,anyway,if you feel that you are in pain,maybe you should read this book.
If you feel miserable,watch this movie. Or this. And if you still do,you should drown yourself in some manhole.
Ohh,I've just completed a year in this corporate shaite-hole!Time flies.And so does my fuckin' age.
And yes,Check out my poll in case you are majorly bored.

A Salman Rushdie,a Cormac McCarthy and "the Million Little Pieces" just cost me a grand.Money would solve most of my problems.As in more money.I remember asking my parents for money before going for trips,before this job.And how easily they gave it without any qualms.Now its more calculated.Check out the cheapest flights.Maybe take the train.Ac/Non-Ac??...And end up going in a 15-hr bus ride.Ive loved every single penny of my parent's money.It becomes really monotonous to earn,spend and realize that you can not live on your parent's money anymore.

Probably technology was the best and the worst thing that happened to this age.People around me are acting way too cool with hi-tech gadgets.Wii's,PSP's,iPods,N-series cellphones.
The Stone Age was the best.Flintstones prove it.You never had to spend any money to eat,drink....women were naked.....there were nightclubs on every mountain.....bars were free.....more women were naked.....There were spears and swords,which are way more cool than guns....Caves were real estates...women would be naked ,even in winters..... Hindus,Muslims,Christians and other blah-blah had sex without cutting off each other's genitals...the Chinese never gave a shit to birth control....and other bloo-bah-bloo.
I really wonder how the world would be if I went some million years back.....
Like people worshipping weird slimy aliens,whenever they popped from the sky....and then every other human behaved like Archimedis,everytime they produced a fire-fall with two stones,riding on Dinos instead of Monster Trucks and shouting Hee-haw!!!...no wait,Dinos never existed then.Ok,Mammoths whatever.
But Im really not skeptical about the other 'ages' as well,like the Roman Era,Medival period,Dark Ages,Industrial Revolution,the World Wars and the holocausts...
(This is where I prove my history is really really weak)
Its just this age.Its not the 'kolijoog' or something.Its just...its too much tech-savvy.Somethings and some people around me are just pissing me off.Not that I dislike everything.Yes,I do have a really sad life story(as Rishi reminds me always) but there are somethings which I've begun to hate.
Ive developed this wierd ego of 'giving shit to whoever gives me shit'.That generally ends up in disliking most people around me.I have become critical about everything including the little girl who tries to ride a cycle.I hate my job,but thats common.Many of my friends with whom I used to have fun in this city have suddenly left this city.The other people who've managed to stay back are too morbid.My friends' big career successes and their fun-filled-life happiness is getting on my nerves.And lately,I've considered visiting a psychiatrist.Bum-Ho!
And what!!I've heard it a million times that I dont respect the country.Just because I think a bit unconventionally.Just because I really dont give a fuck to the retard Indian society.Because I drink and dope a bit.Because I speak English more than Bengali.Because I ape western culture(????).Because I watch more meaningful Hollywood movies rather than the masala Hindi flicks.Because because because......Maybe the people around should take a fucking look outside and change their thoughts about how my generation doesnt give a shit to culture and the country.Cuz it fuckin' does.Take a fuckin look around,people.Maybe 60 years of being a part of India's largest democracy doesnt really help.And yes,how my 'Great Indian 'company,still asks its employees to work on the Independance day,while talking about values,morals and culture.I do respect the founder a lot for starting a great Indian industrial and commerical revolution called Infffffo******.But working for firang clients and acting like a bitch on the country's independance day.C'mon!!and people actually call this patriotic and what my company Inf-uckin-osys has done for the country.Maybe I'm sorry.Maybe I'm not really.I think I'm far more capable of what people say about me.Maybe I'm not.But that doesnt change people for saying what they gotta.I guess some things never change.Not independance day.Or the Indian society and the people.
This is what happens when you work on a national holiday and still get no credits.

Man,there aint a single thing in the world which can beat watching endless episodes of "The Simpsons" on a dark Saturday,all alone, with Foster's beer and Smokin' Joe's extra-cheese sausage crust pizza.
Ohk,Why I like this stupid show called "The Simpsons" and hate Indian Idol??
Cuz Homer Simpson is probably the only cartoon character who thinks like me.And I cant sing well.
Ohk,Why I like beer?
Hahaha!What?
Ohk,Why I like pizza with extra toppings?
Cuz it expensive ,you dumbshit.And it tastes good too.

Sunday was friendship's day.I think its real gay.
Real gay to have non-drunk men calling up other non-drunk men and telling them how much they loved their friendship.
Real gay to have drunk women call up other drunk women and gifting cards and pink soft toys.( I really do not mind this)
Real gay to have SMS about friendship's and even more gay to have someone reply them back and wasting SMS money.
Real gay to have people discussing about parties and get-together rather than sitcoms and sports.
Real gay to have orkut scraps from people who would normally never scrap you on a normal day.
Real gay to see the a Pantaloons End-of-season Sale flooded with tight clothed men and women buying pink shirts on this day.
....Can the world be wierder than this???...its a fuckin gay world.

I think I desperately need weed and love.

Ahh!Lets see what I have here.
First,Hi5..and then suddenly Orkut banged in with this new sensational way of 'networking'.
And what was next?? A whole barrage of 'networking' sites trying to connect friends,family,non-friends,strangers,artists,spam bots,pedophiles and of course,advertisers.
Facebook,Bingbox,WAYN,MySpace,Xanga,Tick-Tuck,Girooboo,Blah-blah,ranta-ranta!!
Not that I am suffering from the syndrome of losing everyone due to apathy or whatever.But I really think there is a fine line of limit in being 'friendly'. And especially since half of the friends list I have,never scraps me,except on my birthday.So why fuckin bother.
Why do people even join so many networking sites.Just to get to know more people??Like strangers??Or find friends all over again just like the way they did with orkut,hi5 or facebook.Or is joining new networking sites the today's 'in' thing.Or maybe,posting your photos wherever in the world wide web,just to be noticed.Just to be noticed,heehee,shit,whatever again!!
Whats with finding strangers or posting "make friendship" messages??I dont think anyone among the people I know,is a loner more than I am.Then why the fuck would they want to know more stranger who probably might be more of a better dumbfuck.Or a 'sexual predator.haha!!
And the "make friendship" message requests.They are the best.And even girls have been posting them nowadays.(I just got my second "make friendship" scrap in orkut in 2 months from two different females,one of whom claimed to be a singer in Portugal).
"You have such a lovely profile,that it reminds me all the beautiful things in the world.I would like to make friendship with you."
Is there a possibly better cornier turn-off method than this.And they never learn too.Desperate desperate people!!
Orkut has created enough problems for human beings,as the news channels say.And vice-versa,I think.
I'm not really against the concept of getting in touch with old,no..really old friends by using technology.After all,these sites did introduce the 'small world' concept.And the fact that single or committed men does not spend too much time over the phone with girls.A single scrap normally does the trick. Of course,Orkut,thank you for all that!!!
What I'm against is the desperation of certain humans to be the cynosure of all eyes(maybe!!) in an entirely virtual space.I mean,its the internet for Pete's sake.It doesnt really matter who you are or who you pretend to be or who you are not.No one really gives a shit here.Even if you argue and win here,you are still retarted.
So go,shoo-shoo,flap-flap.Get a grip on the goddamn life.Start exploring the world,its high time.Go for random trips and talk to real people about real stories.Go,get a life.

I'm Blue.
That night was not very different.I tried closing my eyes.The rusty fan shakingly creating a reverberating hum above.I pulled in the blanket to my chin,laid back my head and rested them on my palms behind.I was not insomniac.But I didnt get any sleep.No,the alcohol didnt help either.Somehow thoughts kept circulating inside my head as I closed my eyes every other time.When I opened them,I heard the hum again.So I closed my eyes,yet again,and counted sheep.
I sat beside the fence.A neatly kept small round table.A vase with purple flowers.A plate of well-made beef steak.A glass of water and a mug of beer.A cold breeze hitting the side of my neck.The first sheep jumped over.One.The second one jumped while the others lined behind from Ol' McDonald's farm.Two.By the time the third one had crossed the fence,the fence had grown immensely large.The herd barking and creating a wierd cacophony.I blinked and concentrated on eating the beef.I looked up.There were hanging bulbs.People drunk and shouting.Telling true tales and sometimes false ones.This was a bar of the fifties.
I woke up.

I'm Red.
I woke up.I looked at her lying beside me and mumbling about how beautiful life is.Everything seemed black and white.I sat all upright and stared at the hollowness of the wall in front.Somehow her words seemed as meaningless.She looked up at me through the pillow with those dark brown gazy eyes.And caressed my hand as if I wanted sympathy.I didnt want that.I wanted realization.And I didnt find that in her.Then through those luscious lips she muttered.
"Is everything ok,dear.I'm sure everything will be all right.You are the best.I love you more than anything in this world.It would be great if you sign on those papers.Things would be so different,you'll see"
"Do you love me for than you life?"
"Of course,I do,honey.
I reached for the top drawer with my right hand.A Smith&Wesson.
"Darling,you say that to every man,dont you."
She shocking looked at me with those brown eyes as I pointed the gun to her forehead.
All she heard was a loud click and the usual long defeaning silence.Then came the pain.No,I think she died fast.
I fuckin' shot her.I dressed up and left.

I'm Green.
I left.The doorknob too felt cold today.Everything suddenly darkened and vanished.And I started running.I saw a light up ahead and ran towards it.I thought of cheetahs running from poachers,gazelles from lions.I closed my eyes and ran.Then everything became clear.I stopped and looked up.It was pouring down heavily.Lights of the city and sirens of the cops behind me.I looked on my side.Rishi was there.With his cap and his peace-bag.His voice seemed heavy and gargled.
"Dude,why are you running?"
"I absolutely have no clue."
He said something else.I ignored him.And started running to a certain green light in a distance.I ran.And when I stopped.I ran some more.The light came upto me.And I hit those big fences right up on my face.The foggy light shone through the checkered steel.As the light cleared.I saw this entire mob.All the people I've known in life.All happy.All successful.I somehow developed an urge to hate them.And I did.I screamed heavily and tried to take the fence off my face.Some of them looked at me.The others continued being happy.I gave up.I felt the rain-water trickle down my cheek.And I fell.

I'm Yellow.
I fell.I heard voices.Voices of people.I saw the sun momentarily.The clouds blocked it.The grey ones.It seemed like a holocaust.I felt the lightlessness of the moment.The earth shook.The sky thundered.Suddenly,I plunged into an abyss of darkness.


It was all quiet when I opened my eyes.

PS:I had lots of second thoughts about posting something as corny as this.But I did it anyway.Ohh,and any shade of Pink reminds me of lesbians .Always.

Do you hate people who speak?
I dont think anyone does.But I'll tellya what I hate.I hate people who speak bad english.Bad as in without the articles and with the all wrong missing tenses.There seems to be a whole big bunch of people like that existing in my life.
You can call me a bit snobby,but even an extra effort to speak english pays,rather than blabberring in some regional language in front of that non-regional person.But some people just dont learn.I have this weird idea of making money by selling private porn vidoes of these-people-I-know over the internet. :-D

Rishi took this picture with his 'BFG'.Normally, one might just not find it much appealing.But somehow I felt it stood out among all the ones he sent me.I find a strikingly perfect connection with the picture ,the moment I saw it.Its not what you think.If you think,I find the picture aggressive and ragged,you're wrong.In fact,I'm quite appalled by the tranquil serenity of it and the whole mellowness of it.

I invented the Pegasus.There is this supposedly metrosexual magazine which showed a new type of crew hair-cut that has been called Pegasus.I invented the Pegasus,way back when people never even knew what WTF meant.This is so not fair.I finally invent something and now strangers are taking advantage of it.Oh well,well.I was anyway suited to do better things in life...like being famous,opening up casinos,having my own beer and wine company,cruising along the Mediterranean,get rich so I can tell other people to "fuck off",blah-blah-blah.

I had this dream last day.I rarely have nightmares.But whaiteevaa!.It was pretty strange to meet the Devil in my dream.He did not resemble the usual beast-looking,red-skinned,double horned and forked tail Devil.In fact,he looked as cool as God himself.All dressed up in an Armani suit,I believe,and as suave as Mr.Bond.When he put me into the trance of experiencing evilness,I distinctly remember asking him.
Me:How come you exist....
Him:What do you mean,I exist,I'm just a fucking dream!!
M:Oh bugger,I didnt mean that.I meant how come you exist in this world.
H:I exist in you.
M:Dont you fuckin try mindgames on me,ok!If you are trying to psyche me out or antagonize me,you are sure doing a lousy job.
H:Ok,you humans believe in God.Thats why I exist.
He filled up a syringe with some fluid.And he punched it into me.I didnt even feel a thing.All I saw were colours.Bright vivid dazzling colours.

Ok,so what I'm wierd,a bit abnormal,a big haraam-jada and a bigger 'ch*tiya'.I'm still cooler than most of the usual people.And I'm a great singer when I'm drunk.Now how many of the other guys can do that,huh...huh,huh,huh....!!!!

PS:Babyboy's snapped and is on the run.Be careful.

Lazy Lazy Lazeez!!!

Everyone around me has been thinking a lot.You know those career thoughts.What to do,what not to do,where to fuck up,where not to.Those thoughts.I always...always go blank whenever someone brings up this topic.I let them talk,just occaisonally nodding my head,saying "hmmmmm" and "thats really great"...and then wait,wait till they pop up the question."What have you thought about your career?"
I normally go-hum.Then I start thinkin a lot.You know those thoughts.I have decided on pursuing an Management degree(MBA sounds too cheeky) ,not because I like it but really 'cause I really cant be a techie-scientific-geek.And being a politician is against my moral principles.

You know what.Management people,are the best form of unsmartness and stupidity.Maybe,I'll tune into business management someday.But thats someday,lets not talk about it.I mean,what exactly is management.Everyone knows management.As long as you know what your shit is and as long as you know how to handle it,hallelujiah!,u know management!!!Most of the Human Resource and other management people I meet,are either dumb or very bad in english(yes,that incidentally matters to me a lot) or very fat(I dont know the reason for that).Oh ya,and they also think they are the brightest people in the world with a shit load of attitude.But then these guys are just sorry fucks.Its like management people and real estate agents.Whatever they do,they are still retarded.And shit!,I'm gonna turn into them,like those humans who turn into zombies when other zombies bite their fingers off.Or was that the Werewolf.Whatever!Its like the those expensive savvy snazzy junk sets like the Apple iPhone.No matter how much expensive it is,you'll always find lots of stupid Indians buying it.Thats management.

This guy,Russell Peters,has got be the funniest stand up comedian in the world.But not if Jerry Seinfeld is more of a stand-up comedian rather than an actor.But whatever,this guy is funny and mocks every other culture in the world.
Anyway,I'm tired of blogging nowadays.Its the saturation period,just what happened with orkut and Yahoo Messenger.
And hopefully yaaaaay,I'm going back home in Pujas!!!...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!

Some fuckin' boob stole my iPod!!!!!......
And for this,I'm angry.I'm not suicidal or psyched!!...I'm behaving like a perfect hypocrite but I'm just fuckin' pissed and mindfucked!!!!

Man,there's been too much happening.Outside and in Pune.People suddenly stop keeping in touch.Forget the old friends.People suddenly getting all successful in careers.
Ha,and the best part is how you try to control your emotions,fakingly smile being the happy-go -lucky,while the fury is burning inside.And now this iPod gets stolen.Great!Just what I wanted!
I really wonder why I havent written a happy post in days.I really wonder.
I desperately need a quiet trip.I'm just waiting for the sunny days to be back.With books,music and tranquility.
Thats all I need right now!

Aar sala,pet'o kharap.Calcutta'r fuchka kheye konodin pet kharap hoyeni.Ekhon joto shob panipuri,vada pao aar drain'er jol mix kore g*nd lege geche.Kobe je Pujo aashbe.Kobe je kolkata jaabo.Dhus sala.Chutiye khaabo.Fuchka,jhaal muri,paapri chaat,churmur,aloo kaabli,dhoyne-pataa-ghoogni-longka,egg roll,chicken chowmein,lal-deem'er daalna.I'll gorge on whatevaa shit I find in every other street.Long Live Calcutta Junk!!!

And no!I wont help you with the Live Earth shit.I really wanted to and I can.But now I'm being selfish and arrogant,'cause by the time humans can really save the Earth from global warming,I'll be long dead.

This is what defines a madman!!!

I had heard this nursery rhyme about how boys liked lizard tails and girls like pink-dolls.Now everything's changed.Its just cars,bikes,sex,rock 'n roll,alcohol,drugs et al.Sometime back,I had asked this little girl about what she wanted to be when she grew up."I wanna be like daddy".Thats what she had replied then.
Her daddy,I believe,was a compulsive alcoholic,who used to beat up his wife when drunk,make love to her wildly when not,work as a manager in an MNC,used to blame every other empty beer bottle for his miseries and used to smoke marijuana to get rid of them.
What is actually striking is that I wake up every morning with the realization that my life is going nowhere and I might actually end up being "this daddy".Maybe things wouldnt be as bleak and dark as I think.I am turning a bit paranoid nowadays.As in like the proper madman you will see in the asylums.The one who dreams about stars turning into atom bombs and falling on the city.The one who thinks every other human is actually the reincarnation of Satan himself.The proper mad types.
I'll tellya.Everytime I go to office and the car in front of me takes a sharp turn,I pray for a car crash.Or the wanting to blow up an oil truck with a shotgun.Things causing mayhem,you know.So that people are no-more bothered about their designer suits,faded jeans,ipods,computers,expensive cars.Yes,and just be bothered about living.Living so as to enjoy every meal,every relationship,and the every moment of it.Its so materialistic now.I get these thoughts all the time.As if being in a different place and enjoying all the creative destruction around.
I was thinking of writing a fiction post for my blog.This is what I wrote.
"The rain was drizzling outside.The pitter-patter of the rain drops echoing through the hallway.She sat there reading the magazine about the latest designer styles Beyonce endorsed.The fire in the fireplace suddenly arose and turned into a Chinese fire dragon and gobbled her up....."
All I'm saying that people like me are dangerous men.You never know when people go into a mindless frenzy.It maybe someone you dont know or it may be someone who is very very close to you.After all,I'm still one who listens to Dylan and believes Notting Hill is the most romantic movie ever.
You can call me a psycho.But I'm just imaginative.
I'm Dr.Jekyll's Mr.Hyde.
I'm Jack's unnerving irate desire to turn into something evil.


PS:*Khub ekla laagche!!!!*

Three confused things.

Yes is a guy.No is a female.A Bus-stand.

Yes(In Joey Style): Hi No,Whaaaat you doin'??
No:Are you talkin to me??
Yes:Yes,I am.I'm Yes..You are No,I suppose.We had met at But(t)'s party last week,remember. No(coldly):No!
Yes:I know,you are No.
No:No,I didnt mean that.I meant.N-O.No!
Yes:C'mon yo,now you are just playin' with words and names.
No:No,I'm not.I mean Yes,thats my name.And No,Im not playing.
Yes:See,you even know my name.
No:No,I don't.
Yes:But I just told you.And you just said it.
No(confused and angry):I mean.....I mean...yes,I did say it.But I didnt mean your name.
Yes:You always dont mean anything,do you?? Or is it that you are trying to act dumb??
No(pissed) :Dude,Why dont you stop pestering me?
Yes: I aint Dude,I'm Yes.Now you are acting as if you forget my name.No,I'm Yes.
No(mindfucked,pissed): No.Yes.No.Yes.No.Yes.WTF!!!!???!!! You either fuck off or I call the cops.
Yes:No.I mean yes.Ok,whatever!Cya.

I wonder sometimes if words have these funny little conversations among themselves.Like at night,they might just come out of the books and talk about the world like elves.I think every word has its own tale.A story of each letter.But,yes,words can sometimes be as stupid as humans.....!!!!!


Lets talk about Die Hard 4.0 before I talk about the other 'luv moviee'.Its awesome.Totally guy-movie.Its really been a looooong time since I saw a proper Hollywood action flick.Die Hard 4.0 definitely brought out the Arnie in Bruce Willis.Story nei,but fultu action.Full adrenaline pumping ,jukie and bullety action.
And yes,I troubled my ass this weekend to watch Himeshh...no,wait...HR(thats what he was called in the movie) in Aap Kaa Suroor.Two famous multiplexes in Pune were housefull throughout Sunday for Aap Kaa Suroor.Shit!I realyl dunno how I actually sat through the entire movie.Snapshots of the movie : The autowalla scene in some place in Germany,HR's motionless face throughout the movie and the hilariously-Himesh-monkey-face during those sudden emotion bursts,Hansika's bad...no!..super bad acting,Himesh pointing to his nose and saying "God knows (nose!!!!) ".... the fuckall-giri in the movie is unending.Bottomline,the movie has everything to become an Indian blockbuster...bad direction,no story,gay-ish villains,an actress with a mouse-voice,Mallika Sherawat's skin and definitely Himesh and his songs.

I've become this stalker.There's this lady in my office,she's beautiful...well,ya.I sometimes go out and follow her wherever she goes and watch her movements.Its out of nothing.Dont mistake me for those sexual predators or those psycho-serial-rapist-killer.I'm not those.I just like to follow unknown people and see what they are upto.Its frikking wierd,I know.I'm just another Dexter.
Shit!I'm clean.I swear. :-)