There lives this person,called the Oyster boy.
Smokes.Drinks.But doesnt kill.He just tries,strives and earns a living.
He lives somewhere in the down-south of a great impartial nation with an aspiring doctor brother,a bereaved mother and a paralytic suicidal father trying his luck with one of those 'cry for help' things.
Scrimpy salary,not enough to make both ends meet.
Consider a timeframe,and the survival rate for him would have dropped to zero,maybe.
That is his life.
But the story is not about him.
The story is about some thousands of middle class families,we choose to ignore with a belief of "that great nation" Rising.
What rise are we exactly talking about?what?.
The story is about the emotionless anarchic conformity of human existence.
There are good men,like the Oyster boy.
There are bad men,whom we may or may not respect.
And then there are socialites.Highly respected by the society,white-collared,masquerades with congeniality and love yet is evil to the very core.
Unhearted fucks,I spit on them.
I thought losing all hope was freedom.But not when,hope really does not exist anymore.
I was almost moved to tears.
But hey,my excuse is that I can never change the world,can I now?



I have not been blogging lately.I was actually busy being the corporate whore,that I always have been.Earning paychecks and slaving for white people from white rich land.
The Calcutta holiday has been,lessay, a blast.
It was as usual great to drink and smoke up with Roy,yet again.Finally got to know Cee and Onn and Dreamy.Hanged out with Pooja,got acquainted,which never really happened the last time we met in Pune.Got beerdrunk with Rahul.Watched a German-legend goalie pose for photographs and not play,while Dada entertained Eden Gardens.There were quite a few more surprises that spewed along the way,but are un-mentionable here.
I have been feeling rather green.Envious.

Of Rishi's Tattoo. (see picture of Roy and me in my infamous Road Rage tee)
Chumma ran away again,I think.
Of others' ability to play the guitar.
And of successes of some people around me.

But even after all the green and the cribbing,Im happy.I happy for reasons unknown.Happy for things not going my way and resigning to it.I have also been hallucinating and suffering from temporary memory loss.I have been drinking,quite a bit and happily.Sometimes smoking up.I even blacked out recently,happily,again.I hallucinated while I was in office.And I promised never to drink again,and broke my promise the very next day.Happiness is such a drug that it makes you happy,all over again.I love the idea of creating delusionary ideas and escaping all away.
My un-photo blog is coming up soon,Combat Nap,Watch this space or that.
A certain person is definitely not fat,even though she is convinced she is.
Orkut revealed an ex-foe.He has bitch-tits now.
And something's up. I can't tell for sure.
Ever seen a Hippo dance??They need lots of love.
So do I.more and more.

Ok,Chumma is out.Officially thrown out by the society people and the watchman,who scoffed at our car.The bitch had it calling for,....went on a rampage with the garbage bins.I liked it though.Especially when our 'pet pup' turned hostile and havoc'ed with the old man's house.After all the milk and the beer it drank,I suddenly miss Chumma .

Everything's been so usual.So normal enough,to freak me out. Sometimes accolades and praise is fun and famous.But then it sorta gets on the nerves.I'm tired of seeing the dumb faces of my office colleagues everyday.I'm tired,done and out.I think of one word nowadays.Escape.To a different city,place or planet maybe.Trip.To somewhere out of reach.Meet.Some people and stories of the world.I wonder if all this depression,failure,pain is bought.But so is the funk we are living under.
We all have dreams.At least,speaking for myself.Then we have inspirational stories,we have those special people,apprehensive-ness,of course.But all that separates is just putting the foot beyond the line of decision and risk.Drive,is what I call it.Dreams,Ive had enough.I just lack the fuckin drive.

So some of these days have been good.As in proper windy winter days.Like waking up early,eating breakfast,watching TV, fucken office,drinking coffee,warm snuggly bed,drinking beer.Im just glad its still pretty chilly cold here in Pune. Maybe,I'm also glad cuz Burger King is so better than MacDonalds.Its wishful thinking to be happy,but what the heck......And mistakes,I'm happy about them,but the blues still exist.
Sometimes I just wish I could just lie on the lawn all day long and think about nothing.
But there is too much going on.

and I need more crayons to just colour it all up..........
I need some booze.I need to turn into a song or a sketch.I need to turn into some random vegetable and be sold off.
I suddenly miss Calcutta and the smell of Park Street and JU.I miss Chumma,as well!!


PS: I am the only Debanuj in Facebook( yaaaay!!)
And there are 25 other Debanuj's in orkut,who either look gay or with display pictures of Shah Rukh Khan.Its a sad fuckin world!

"......Well, your fingers weave quick minarets
Speak in secret alphabets
I light another cigarette
Learn to forget, learn to forget ......................................"

(This song is torturing me so much that I'm enjoying every line of it.....)

Ok,its really supposed to be exciting when you finally get internet at home.Especially after you get bored of using it at office where half of the chatting softwares are blocked and Orkut becomes an all time low.Work increases.This-that.
Well,it hasnt changed much.Orkut is still an all time low.Saturation sets in.I dont even bother to reply to scraps.Instead I've been researching with Facebook and Skype.And trying to explore my options in a stock-market career.Internet aint all that bad.And yes,the liberty of reading some really beautiful blogs at your own sweet will.
Maybe that the global warming has been messing up with my little brain. I find it really shocking what humans have done to the planet.We still sit in AC's ...keep the bulb on...and cut down trees to make way for human settlements.Save the green,save our planet.Lets peace out and do something about it.This is what I've been thinking for a long time.
Anywayy,life hasnt been that bad for a change.Some trips are lined up.There has been some weed,gallons of beer,hitch-hiking on trucks,rock 'n roll as usual,cough and benadryl,a bit of shopping maybe and some corporate whore-awards.And then the icing on the cake???
The two week homecoming vacation.There are whole loads of stuff that has been planned up already.
Brace up people,pull down ur socks,loosen your collars cuz I'm comin' home and I'm excited.Pujo is never bad and will never be better!!!!.....

Cheerz!

I'm Blue.
That night was not very different.I tried closing my eyes.The rusty fan shakingly creating a reverberating hum above.I pulled in the blanket to my chin,laid back my head and rested them on my palms behind.I was not insomniac.But I didnt get any sleep.No,the alcohol didnt help either.Somehow thoughts kept circulating inside my head as I closed my eyes every other time.When I opened them,I heard the hum again.So I closed my eyes,yet again,and counted sheep.
I sat beside the fence.A neatly kept small round table.A vase with purple flowers.A plate of well-made beef steak.A glass of water and a mug of beer.A cold breeze hitting the side of my neck.The first sheep jumped over.One.The second one jumped while the others lined behind from Ol' McDonald's farm.Two.By the time the third one had crossed the fence,the fence had grown immensely large.The herd barking and creating a wierd cacophony.I blinked and concentrated on eating the beef.I looked up.There were hanging bulbs.People drunk and shouting.Telling true tales and sometimes false ones.This was a bar of the fifties.
I woke up.

I'm Red.
I woke up.I looked at her lying beside me and mumbling about how beautiful life is.Everything seemed black and white.I sat all upright and stared at the hollowness of the wall in front.Somehow her words seemed as meaningless.She looked up at me through the pillow with those dark brown gazy eyes.And caressed my hand as if I wanted sympathy.I didnt want that.I wanted realization.And I didnt find that in her.Then through those luscious lips she muttered.
"Is everything ok,dear.I'm sure everything will be all right.You are the best.I love you more than anything in this world.It would be great if you sign on those papers.Things would be so different,you'll see"
"Do you love me for than you life?"
"Of course,I do,honey.
I reached for the top drawer with my right hand.A Smith&Wesson.
"Darling,you say that to every man,dont you."
She shocking looked at me with those brown eyes as I pointed the gun to her forehead.
All she heard was a loud click and the usual long defeaning silence.Then came the pain.No,I think she died fast.
I fuckin' shot her.I dressed up and left.

I'm Green.
I left.The doorknob too felt cold today.Everything suddenly darkened and vanished.And I started running.I saw a light up ahead and ran towards it.I thought of cheetahs running from poachers,gazelles from lions.I closed my eyes and ran.Then everything became clear.I stopped and looked up.It was pouring down heavily.Lights of the city and sirens of the cops behind me.I looked on my side.Rishi was there.With his cap and his peace-bag.His voice seemed heavy and gargled.
"Dude,why are you running?"
"I absolutely have no clue."
He said something else.I ignored him.And started running to a certain green light in a distance.I ran.And when I stopped.I ran some more.The light came upto me.And I hit those big fences right up on my face.The foggy light shone through the checkered steel.As the light cleared.I saw this entire mob.All the people I've known in life.All happy.All successful.I somehow developed an urge to hate them.And I did.I screamed heavily and tried to take the fence off my face.Some of them looked at me.The others continued being happy.I gave up.I felt the rain-water trickle down my cheek.And I fell.

I'm Yellow.
I fell.I heard voices.Voices of people.I saw the sun momentarily.The clouds blocked it.The grey ones.It seemed like a holocaust.I felt the lightlessness of the moment.The earth shook.The sky thundered.Suddenly,I plunged into an abyss of darkness.


It was all quiet when I opened my eyes.

PS:I had lots of second thoughts about posting something as corny as this.But I did it anyway.Ohh,and any shade of Pink reminds me of lesbians .Always.